Joan2

can't understand

2011-06-04T18:47:35Z

i haven't been on site for a few days but when i signed on a few minutes ago I seem to have joined the melanina group and the testicular cancer groups. I have no reason or memory of joining these groups and was just wondering if this had happened to anyone else.

Anyway best wishes to you all

Take care

Joan xx

mothers day

2011-04-02T09:20:13Z

Mothers Day - this is my second mothers day without mum and somehow this year seems harder than last. tho i don't know why perhaps its because last year everything was an issue so mothers day was just another thing to be got though.

On the whole life is getting a little better i still miss mum and still constantly want to pick up the phone and tell her what is going on - especially with the kids but in general it is much better than last year if i could just get this stupid day over with - i know its just a day but everywere you look it seems to be staring you in the face. A friend in work yesterday was talong about flowers for mothers day anf said "o you don't have a mother" she immediately apolises and i know she didnt mean it but it was like a thump in the gut and I can't seem to shift the feeling even though i know she meant no harm just didnt think.

over the years i have been rushing/ stressing over what to buy mum, worring about dinner selfishly wanting some of the day to myself - now i would love for her to be coming up for dinner and love the thought of going to buy her something she would love. life is so busy sometimes we always seem to be rushing from here to there why o why do we learn what is most important - family and friends - when it is too late. we sometimes don't appreiate what we have until it is too late

My heart goes out to everyone having to deal with this terribe disease and a special pray for all those facing a mothers day with out MUM

Our finger prints don't fade from the lives we touch.

Take care

Joan

all messed up

2010-02-13T18:48:51Z

Just can't seem to write on this site anymore. When i joined just after mum was told she had kung cancer i was on site all the time i spoke to some lovely people and got such great support but since mum died i come on but can't seem to write.

I read the posts and want to reply but when i start i just can't. Tonight i just felt the need to write to myself

mum i miss you every day i have so much i need to tell you - my head is all messed up and i can't seem to function properly