jenirex&#39;s blog https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/jenirex/atomTelligent Community (Build: 12.1.2.21912)2010-01-01T11:01:20Zhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/jenirex/posts/2010-another-year-begins2010-01-01T10:01:20Z2010-01-01T10:01:20Z<p>I have been battling my cancer for the last five years, I feel that this has held me back from really living and I am so annoyed with myself.&nbsp; Five years is a long time and I should be grateful that I have been given this time.&nbsp; I am terminally ill but still well enough to work and get about and supposedly have fun.&nbsp; I am writing this blogg in the hopes that is will help me keep my new years resolution which is to live like a normal person.&nbsp; I am single and feel that no one would want to be with me because of my cancer, I mean how can you inflict this uncertainty onto someone else. I can&#39;t even let myself get out there and have any fun as I feel too ugly because I am carrying around this horrible thing.&nbsp; I want to be a glass half full person instead of this pesimistic party pooper.&nbsp; I feel so bad that my days may end and I will not have shared some of those days with someone who would just like to hold my hand in a special way. This is here to remind me that I have to venture from my cacoon and that the only way to be loved is to give love...... Here is hoping that god may send someone special my way,&nbsp; Best wishes to everyone on this site and I apologise if my blogg seems a little selfish and self centered.&nbsp; </p><div style="clear:both;"></div><img src="https://community.macmillan.org.uk/aggbug?PostID=303247&AppID=28479&AppType=Weblog&ContentType=0" width="1" height="1">Former Memberhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/members/formermember