Jaynef's blog

Completely lost, life has no meaning

2009-11-03T22:28:37Z

I lost my husband on 13th september, i know it was only 7 weeks ago but i just feel completely lost, the only thing keeping me going is my 12yr old son. Everything just seems so pointless, i really don't want to go anywhere or do anything, friends keep telling me how strong i'm being but they don't know how i really feel inside as i can't talk to anyone about what happen or about how i really feel, how can i talk to anyone or tell them when i can't put any of it into words. Weekends are the worst as i really struggle going out anywhere as everything i think about doing reminds me of Shaun. Struggling now to think what else to type my minds gone blank again, i have a severe lack of concentration too, i'm sure my brain has been switched off.

Shock and disbelief he's gone

2009-09-24T18:09:39Z

My husband passed away on the 13th sept, it was his funeral tues 22nd. I have an 11yr old son and i'm 37. My husband was 9months from 1st diagnosis. he actually got the all clear at the end of may then we found out on the 28th aug it had returned and he died on the13th sept. I'm struggling to carry on with anything at the moment but have to push myself for my son, but all i'd really like to do is not get up in the morning, but going to bed at night feels worse than trying to get up in the morning, I have fantastic friends who are trying their best but nothing helps at the moment, except hugs if only for a split second.

Scared

2009-06-26T19:05:21Z

Not sure what to put really, only second time i'll have done this. My husband got the all clear from his stage 3 melanoma at the end of April and we were so happy, but the last few weeks he hasn't been feeling well, low blood pressure, very dizzy all the time and headaches and at times not able to do anything other than lay on the sofa, which can last for a few days. He got in touch with his CNS who made him an appt with his oncologist. They're sending him for a CT Scan which is next Tuesday (30th) and we get the results the following day. I'm so scared, I try to talk to friends but they don't know what we're going through and i don't want them to get fed up of listening to me going on. I thought we had lots of friends but it's surprised me that some don't get in touch and the invites out and to friends houses or camping have been virtually non-existent since Shaun was first diagnosed in December 08.

melanoma

2009-03-02T14:51:53Z

My husband (who is only 36) has stage 3 melanoma, he's starting radiotherapy next week on his neck after having the lymph nodes removed in January. I'm worried about the side effects as we've been told it will affect his throat and mouth and that he might not be able to eat or drink properly. He's also high risk of it returning, especially in the same area as it had started going beyond 2 of the 6 lymph nodes it had spread too.