im new to this!!

2009-01-05T22:59:42Z

I am 24 and i want to talk to people that are going through a similar thing. For about 18 months i wasnt well always at the doctors wiv something wrong, my boyfriend of 5 years said i was a hyperchrondiac (if thats how its spelt), but i knew something wasnt right. I constantly caught colds, sick bugs you name it i had it. The doctor wasnt too concerned though but thinking back maybe she should have been. Im a young girl, a bit overweight but ate healthy and exercised. Maybe six months ago i went to the doctor and said ive got a lump in the right side of my neck, you could feel this lump it was closer to my shoulder than my head. The doc said its a gland it will go down. In sep my friend asked me did i have a love bite on my neck and when i looked i seen that under the lump had become discoloured. I thought nothing of it, Then in oct i wasnt well again and it was what i could call a bit like depression, no energy no motivation jus down in the dumps i went the docs so she signed me off work and decided to have this lump looked in to. First i had an x ray that was inconclusive, then i had an ultrasound and i just knew something wasnt right, i had gone on me own and the girl was scanning for ages then she went and got a consultant he didnt say anything he just checked the girls notes. I came home and i was worried but hey still in good spirits to hide the worry. That was the tuesday, wednesday went by and i never heard anything so i thought im ok, im worry too much. In work on thursday lunch time and my mobile rings it was the docs and sure enough it was them words the doc wants you to come in and see her tomorow. You didnt have to be einstein to know what was coming. Friday morning i goes to me appointment, me mum decided to come. The doc tried to say that something supsicious had been found but i aint soft so she showed me the report and sure enough the consutant had said he would suggest in his specialist opion that this was thyroid carcinona. Well i didnt know what to say or how to act. I came home phoned me boyf, phoned work and then me, me mum and me nan and gramps went to the market and out for lunch. Very odd. The next two weeks were a blur, specialist consultants, blood tests, biopsys, ct scan, needles, injections, cameras up me nose. Then came the surgeon consultant he said your ops next week. I nearly shit me pants, excuse the language, i didnt want this and i didnt want an op before xmas. But sure enough on 18th dec 2008 was the day of my op. I went in at 7:30am and i waited till 5pm for the op, i was going mad, i had 10mg of diazepan which should of knocked me out but it never. I was in theatre for 6hours they removed the whole of my thyroid and all my lymph nodes because the cancer had spread to them and was growing quicker in them. Hospital was hell, the nurses were horrible and i hate needles. Anyway here i am nearly three weeks later, ive been through the mill, ive had an infection and i couldnt swollow. Ive ahted every second of it. Im now awaiting radio active iodine treatment. Sorry this is all so long but i want to talk to people who have had the same or feel the same. I jus need some guidance. I wanna know why me?? Im so angry at meself and every one round me. It doesnt seem fair, I hate it all and i dont wanna feel like this. Do others feel like this?? please get in touch!!!

imamess's blog

im new to this!!