Unreasonably upset when Medics call me "his girlfriend"!

2010-10-10T22:17:35Z

Why does this happen? Probably because I am 45 and my beloved partner P is 54. We have been together for a wonderful 25 years and never married because we didn't think we could love each other any more if we had a licence. It never bothered me before, not being married, I would just introduce P as my partner. Yet now in hospitals when I am with him, nurses, Docs as they draw the curtains round the bed, look at me and say "Are you his wife?" and I say no and feel like they think I'm shouldn't be there but a wife should. The other day waiting for the consultant a nice lady sitting opposite said "Are you his girlfriend?" and made me feel about 12 years old. I said "Yes, but we've been together 25 years" I feel like I have to justify it somehow. Not their fault of course, I am not his wife and that is our choice.

On a more sinister note, of course legally/medically I am not his next of kin, though I think in hosp he put me down as that, but I'm not sure what weight it carries.

Sorry, this has come out a bit like a rant, and as I say, my choice, but wonder if any one else has experienced this sudden inadequacy in the face of cancer?

Hello - New to blogs, Forums and Cancer

2010-09-17T16:48:11Z

Hi, I have never blogged or joined a forum before but read posts here and felt compelled to join in so I would not feel so lonely. My partner of 25 years has just been diagnosed 3 weeks ago with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and is currently in hospital. Sorry if this is not the right place to say all this, but I wanted to join in with you all as your comments and posts have comforted me.

Hope102

Unreasonably upset when Medics call me "his girlfriend"!

Hello - New to blogs, Forums and Cancer