here at last

2011-02-21T11:47:08Z

Well, spent ages trying to work out how to actually write a message on here.

Since I signed up to the online community I spent 3 days in hospital with neutropaenic sepsis following my first chemo treatment (Taxatere), so now am apprehensive about second treatment on Friday. I was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in June 2010, almost 10 years since the first time. One largeish tumour in a lymph node on my neck was zapped with radiotherapy, other smaller ones in lymph nodes and bones treated with hormone tablets. The chemo is because new tumours in my liver are growing faster than the others.

Last summer I was doing meditation and Chi Kung exercises out of doors, but stopped when the weather got too bad. Now I am aware that I am holding in stress and trying to be strong and cheerful, and I have been strenuously avoiding the meditation and exercise. Today I found out why - I went out at sunrise and did my previous routine, and felt really good about it, but now I can't stop crying as it has released the stress. The question is, can I continue with my routine and deal with the emotions and other people's response, knowing that I will be healthier if I do, or do I allow myself to shut down again and continue to be stressed, which damages my physical and mental health.

A lot for a first post, I only really meant to say 'Hi!'

Helen226

here at last