hi guys

2009-11-10T20:39:58Z

Ive only very recently joined this site as I want to research as much as possible about cancer and how we find the strength to fight the emotional and physical battles with loved ones. My dad was diagnosed in Nov 2008 with bowel cancer and had major surgery In Jan to remove the tumour followed by 8 courses of chemotherapy, his treatment went reasonably well and his side effects were relatively tame compaired to some possible side effects that you read about.

Dad is not one to be fussed over and he hates worrying his family and so gets on with day to day life bless him. Throughout his chemotherapy he was still working like a trojan and we as a family thought that perhaps it was his way of coping with things even though we repeatedly told him not to overdo it.

He finally finished his therapy in August and was given the all clear, and after a short while seemed to be very slowly getting back to some sort of normality...

In October he started to complain about having stomach pains and generally feeling unwell again, we also found that he had lost quite a bit of weight and so he embarked on another trip to the doctors where hed had a blood test.... The results showed that he had a blockage in his liver and so an appointment was made for him to have a scan up at the hospital. At this stage he had turned a slight yellow colour and had become jaundice.

They kept dad in as he really didnt look too good, and we were told by the consultant that the blockage could possibly be either gall stones, an adverse reaction to the chemotherapy or worst case scenario the cancer could have returned...

Our worst fears were confirmed 3 days later (last week) that the cancer had spread to his liver, lungs and stomach. We are totally devastated and are inconsolable as they cant offer him any chemotherapy due to the liver being so damaged. All they can do is pump steroids into him to try and shrink the tumour in the liver and then maybe, just maybe he may be able to have some treatment...

In the last few days I along with my mum and sister have felt all sorts of emotions, anger, guilt, uselessness and just so so so very heartbroken.

My dad is only 57 and to see him like this Is tearing us apart. Im his only son 27 yrs old and feel as though It Is my responsibility to look after the family and to be as strong as I can for them all, but I just dont know which way to turn. I constantly feel sick with worry and it all feels like 1 big horrible nitemare.

Id appreciate any feedback on how to cope at the moment, anyone going or gone through the same as what we are? Please get in touch.

Many thanks,

Adam xxx

finding the strength to support my family

hi guys