feeling a little low and angery :(

2011-09-14T17:21:29Z

First blog I done on here….. Feeling a little low today been another hard few weeks with more choices to be made. Annoys me these people at the hospitals make u feel like there is a little hope to be told that actually there isn’t and there isn’t anything that can be done. Why do they put you in these situations? Make u make choices about your life when actually it doesn’t matter anyways?!?!?. I am sick of seeing mum like this her feeling like she has given in by not having chemo again but what‘s the point when it’s not gonna change her life expectancy! Trying to explain this t her that she has fought so hard and has been so brave. It breaks my heart that she feels like she has given up when she hasn’t! I just wish that something could be done to help ease her ever increasing symptoms that seem to be getting worse. I never pictured mum being like she is now but I can’t kid myself that she is gonna get better as I know she isn’t as hard as that is it sallow it’s true. I am so angry when I see what the cancer has taken away from her and how she is now. In fact when I think about it not just her but the family too. I am beginning to think that I am I very sinical person right now and I keep asking how much longer am I gonna feel like this and will I ever feel happy again? I am struggling with coping with my feelings. There are things I could never say to my mum so I can’t talk to her. Has anyone got any suggestions as to how I can find an out left for my pain and stress?????