EmJay's blog

A Happy Mothers Day to all the 'Mothers' out there!

2010-03-14T10:28:48Z

Happy Mothers Day!

U might be wondering why I have put 'Mothers' in my title, well that is because this is not only to wish all the women with children a Happy Mothers Day, but to wish all the women who care for others as if they were their children, a Happy Mothers Day. This might sound a tad odd, and no the chemo hasn't completely addled my brain but since i joined this site, there have been many people who have shown great care and concern towards me. Albeit it isn't only the ladies but today is about women so we will save the thank you's to the men for another day.

Being 26, I notice there are quite alot of women on here who have children of a similar age to myself, sometimes older or younger but stil, they always show the type of concern a mother shows and this i find gives me a lovely feeling to know somebody cares about me in the same way they do their children. There are also alot of women without children, but they show concern and care and compassion whenever something isn't quite right.

I know it sounds like i am rambling but i'm basically using this day as an excuse to thank all the women on here for being there for me, even tho many have their own problems and concerns, they still have time to offer support to myself and others. My own mum hasn't passed and for that i am very grateful because she has been wonderful in looking after me but having u all here makes a big difference :)

Also, for those who have lost a mother or a daughter and r feeling a little down today, my thoughts r with u and special love goes out to u all today for being so strong as to get through it and help others in the process.

Basically, you are all very special, whether u have children or not, you are all wonderfully strong and caring women!

Right, i now feel the need for a bucket because that was a very out of character soppy rant but i meant every single word of it :)

Love and hugs to all

Emma

xxx

Revenge on the Hedgehog!

2009-12-06T18:38:58Z

Hey all,

Just thought i would post a little update on me, myself and the hedgehog after explaining the situation in my last blog. A few things have happened since then so lets start at the very beginning.....

I went away on Friday to the Lake DIstrict, came home today, got back about 2 hours ago and after unpacking my bags, decided to catch up on what I mite have missed over the last few days. And so this leads me to my question ... Why is good news always followed by bad news? I know some will say its all about balance, karma whatever etc. I am a believer of karma, what goes around comes around etc but this is just downright cruel. Allow me to explain ....

On Friday, i had just arrived at the Lakes when i checked my messages on my phone as i had heard it ringing while i was driving. My Lymphoma Nurse Specialist had called. If u r familiar with my previous blog, u will know I am waiting to find out if i am suitable for a trial in London. Well she asked me to call back and i did and she told me that the Dr in London has looked at my biopsies and the cells r a match for the trial and that he will give me a call next week to discuss other things, whether we can go ahead etc.

As u can imagine i was ecstatic,made my weekend even better, could rest easy that something finally seemed to be looking up! Had a wonderful weekend, ate lots of lovely food, did a little Christmas shopping and all was right on Planet Emma and the Hedgehog until .....

About 20 mins ago when i checked my facebook, i discover a friend of mine who was suffering terminal cancer, has passed away. I only found out a few weeks ago that there was no more they could do for him and his mum had posted a message notifying everyone of his passing on Friday in hospital. He was only 27. He was an amazing guy, his attitude towards life and his illness was one that cannot be explained or understood, he just got on with it. I feel truly shattered at the news that the world has lost another amazing person and i feel guilty for having good news when his family r dealing with this. It's just so unfair but i guess thats how it works?

I did want to post some of my pictures of my weekend on my blog but it feels inappropriate right now. The only good thing that seems to come out of these situations it it makes me more determined to fight, to fight for the people who couldn't fight no more, and to remember them with dignity.

Love and peace to all

Emma

xxx

Anyone know how to get rid of a hedgehog?

2009-11-26T21:33:05Z

Hey All,

This is my first blog, i have been on the site a few months, read and reply to blogs and some of u will probably recognise my name from chat.

I joined the site when i had finished the bulk of my treatment and really just wanted to share experiences with people who were in the same boat ( I hadn't realised what a big boat it is!)

U know the saying 'theres always one who likes to be awkward'? Well thats me, I used to like being different, not being the same as anyone else, if all the other kids wanted orange juice, i wanted apple. I was the only child who could find a muddy puddle on the hottest day of the year and if ever i hurt myself, well I had to do it properly! It couldn't just be one broken bone in my foot, it had to be 2! When i had laryngitis, i had to have sinusitus too! I'm sure ur seeing a pattern here?

When i was told just over a year ago that I had Hodgkin Lymphoma, i was shocked at first but asked lots of questions, cried a bit then put my head up and got on with it. I thought it would be quite straightforward by the sound of the treatment, I was positive in my attitude, i did what the nurses said and i just got on with it. I don't ever really recall feeling like a cancer patient. Compared to things others were goin thru, I felt lucky. It even had a pet name, to help me deal with it, its known as the hedgehog because my friend thought i said 'i've got hedgehog lymphoma' which obviously would be ridiculous! As u can probably guess, things weren't straight forward, i had numerous problems with my veins, i had many problems trying to have a hickman line fitted (I think i hold the record for the amount of time it took to get mine in, 4th attempt i mite add and over 6 hours on the table!) and i ended up with quite a few rather unpleasant infections.

It also became clear that the chemo wasn't working, they tried something stronger, that didn't work so they decided to do a stem cell transplant and high dose chemo. I had that in July and had 4 weeks of radiotherapy in september. I was told i would have to wait for at least 3 months to have a PET scan becuase of the radiation. The docs were hopeful it had worked, no more hedgehog! Then i started with my silly cough again, odd chest pains, noticed i wasn't putting weight on etc so i mentioned it when i went on the 10th November. They got a bit concerned that it mite stil be active even tho the hope was that the radio would stop it being active. Actually the hope was the chemo would stop it and the radio would just tidy up the other bits! Anyways, i was sent for my scan last tuesday and have been given the results today.

They weren't very good, hedgehog is stil active! The doctor isn't as certain as before about curing it but there is hope! He is goin to speak to a Dr in London about a trial to c if I'm suitable for it and if so to London we will go! If not then there is some more chemo they can try. I had kinda epxected the bad news because i know my body and i know it still isn't right but for once i just wish i could be the straightforward one instead of the awkward one! I like the fact my hair is growing back, i just want things to be a bit more normal. I'm not sure what compelled me to blog, I feel a bit of a fraud when many on here r so much worse off than me and even some friends I have made at the hospital who have not been so lucky and then here i am and i should be grateful but I'm a bit sick of it now. I will still keep fighting it because it will not beat me but it all gets a bit hard sometimes and writing it down feels a bit better.

Anyone know how to get rid of hedgehogs?

Thanks for listening guys

Emma

xxx