elise_gemini

Tuesday is the big day

2010-10-10T19:54:42Z

So right now Im on Hospital family accommodation in Basingstoke and my mum is on the ward. Its so strange. I have been waiting for this day for months and now its here I want to run away. Mum's big op is on Tuesday and its sixteen hours plus long. Its so surreal. Its a radical treatment called the sugar baker technique that will drain her mucus out of her stomach/abdo/ torso area and then they will apply warm chemo directly into the cavity for one hour and drain that out. I cant say Im not bricking it quite frankly, Ive never been this scared in my life. Im not religious but mum is so out of respect to her I am praying to whatever higher being there may be that she'll get through this. I already lost dad to cancer when I was 13 and not prepared to lose mum at 24 years old!

Big Day Tomorrow

2010-07-27T22:27:58Z

My mum's first consultation with an oncologist that specializes in her kind of cancer is tomorrow. Mum has a rare cancer called Pseudomyxoma peritonei so rare in fact that your chances of getting it are 1 in 1,000,000. Problem is because its so rare there are only 2 hospitals in the UK that can deal with mum one in Manchester and one in Basingstoke so our closest is Basingstoke about 55 miles away. She wants me to go with her and its silly but I am catching myself trying to gain power over something I really have no power over. Her cancer caught me off guard as it does anyone and I found myself listing hundreds of questions to ask the oncologist tomorrow, as if the answers to these will somehow help me control this situation. I doubt I'll sleep tonight my heart is pounding in my throat but my bag is packed notepad and pen included. Tomorrow is the day some stranger will tell me how long I'm allowed to keep my mum for.

Not Again!!!!!!

2010-05-15T15:04:29Z

Hi I'm Elise and I am 23. I have never written a blog before but I thought it might help.

Ok where to start? When I was 13 my dad died of cancer of the oesophagus. It was hard and people at school never treated me the same after my time off grieving. Mum was my strength, we became very close like best friends. i move away when I started uni. I moved to bristol from hertfordshire. I graduated and found it hard to get on to a Post grad teaching course so I decided to become a nursing assistant in the mean time, working in the Bristol Royal Infirmary. Then a few days ago my little world got wrecked once more. I got a call from my mum telling me shes got cancer. Every childs worse nightmare after already losing one parent to it. She gave me the low down on it. Its a really rare peritoneal cancer that they only treat in 2 places in the uk. Both places are at least 3 hours away from Hertfordshire. She explained exactly which of her organs have been affected, and for the first time ever I resent being a nursing assistant as I understand exactly what everything means, even though she doesn't. It really does not look good, she just hasn't been told that yet. Wish I didn't understand the implications and the medical jargon. She told me she is scared and so I've agreed to move. At the moment Im selling everything I own which isn't a lot as I am only 23, just furniture and stuff as I can't bring it with me. I will become her full time carer, which scares me, as my sister is in Oz and my brother lives far away with 3 little ones to look after so they can't really help. My whole life is going to be put on hold. I don't know a single person other than my mum in Hertfordshire and I am so scared of being alone.