DebbiesDaughterxxx's blog

Mum's op

2011-01-07T01:41:28Z

Hi everyone Hope all is well with you all!!

Right, well my Mum is having an op on 17th of this month and would like to know if anyone has had the same op?? It's called double LD flap and masectomy bilateral.......She's very nervous and would just like some reassurance and some info so she know's exactly what's gunna happen after the op....Like recovery time and how she will be able to do day to day things.....Any advice or info on this will be a massive help!!!

She hasn't known anyone to have this op so that's worrying her a little bit too i think......

.Obv it would help me alot too so i know what to expect and how to help her etc etc..

Hopeing to hear back soon...

All my love and hugs to you all...

Lauren xxx

Long tyme no blog lol

2009-10-28T03:06:22Z

Hi all sorry i havent blogged for a while, havent been getting to grips with this site, but think i'm getting the hang of it now lol

If someone was to say to me right now ''How do u feel''? My reply would be ''Nothing'' Because i dont i feel complete numbness, If someone came to me now and hit me over the head with a blunt i dont think i would feel a thing, It's weird i dont think i've cried once since i found out my Mum has Cancer, It had'nt really hit me. She had all her head shaved the other day, and as i was sitting there watching her beautiful hair fall to the ground i could feel myself welling up, Everyone else just sat there in complete awe over it, So naturally i sucked them back up and told myself not to be so stupid Because of course no-one else was crying so dont look like a tit and start blubbing!! So instead i did what comes natural to me, and tried to make it funny, Everyone laughed including Mum but somehom i felt bad for doing it as if to say i was turning mu Mum into some kind of circus freak! I knew she didnt feel that way but i just could'nt help but think it, Now this may seem silly bit now with her hair gone, she looks like she is ill, as in before she did'nt she looked normal, well as normal as people get, I thought to myself my Beautiful strong mum is being broken down one by one by this shitty disease it's taking away all the things that make her, her. I wanted to just reach inside her and rip it out, like a film i watched where the man had Lung Cancer and some man just delved inside his chest and ripped out the Cancer, God i wish i could do that!! I also had a chat with her one of the serious ones where we said that admitadly i dont do much round the house because i lock myself up in my room all day and when im not in my room im out with my friend's in the pub, So i decided sort yaself out, and well i think i have, or at least started to lol. It's a weird thing watching the person u love the most getting ill. If i had the choice for her Cancer to be given to me i would. Because i'm young and i'd maybe have more of a chance at surviving it. If i had one wish and one wish only it would be that Cancer never did or never has existed.

More about Mum

2009-09-03T22:59:34Z

Hi all another quick one, we got told today that the result's of the test's on her lymph gland things have come back and they are all cancerous also...They are giving her 2 weeks to recover this op then they are planning on operation on her again to get rid of those........On a posative note went and saw her in the hosp today she look's really great was sitting up chatting and walking around!! And hopefully she will be back tomorrow afternoon. Lots of love and hugs Lauren xxxx

Just to tell you all about Mum's op

2009-09-02T20:12:04Z

Hi everyone just a quick note to say Mum's Masectomy op went fine, the doctors said it went aswell as it could of...She was still drowsy from the anasthetic and all the other drugs they had pumped into her lol, She was very pail also, they said her obs were low but they will obviusly keep an eye on it....All i can say at least that's one hurdle over with, And i'm sooooo glad she's ok. She also said to say Hi to everyone and she is sure she will be back on here in no time Lot's of love Lauren xxxx

It's starting to hit me!

2009-08-28T01:08:37Z

Hi all, I'm still in a weird mood lately, I think with Mum's op and everything coming it's definatly starting to hit me....I cant really deny the fact anymore that Mum's got Cancer. I am blubbing nearly everyday (And that's not like me!) I want to kill everyone i see or talk to, I dont want to get out of bed and i have the sudden urge to get very heavily drunk all the time. So with me feeling like this...God Mum must be feeling bad!! I just had this sudden urge to clean the kitchen so i did (But most likely by the time Mum has woken up Dad would of messed it up again) I'm doing my room tomorrow, which Mum has been nagging me about for week's!! I feel so empty, I'm not me anymore....

Nothing is wrong with me!!

2009-08-26T00:52:08Z

Hi all, Sorry i havent blogged in a while have been very busy....Well that's a lie i've just been out with my friends lol...I'm starting to get very annoyed with everyone lately Family and friends alike!! They keep asking me what's wrong?? Now in myself i feel as i normally do but people keep telling me i've changed i'm snappy and sad at one minute hyper the next, I've had several people ask me if i'm on Drugs!!! I mean WTF!! I feel fine i tell them i'm normal nothing's wrong with me and of course i'm not on flippin Drugs! And all that is true i feel fine admitadly i have been feeling a bit Emotional these past few day's, but the kinda of emotional and weird you get with some bad ass mood swings just before The painters come lol, and that's not coming for another month so i know it is'nt that. But apart from that i feel fine, I've had Mum tell me i'm selfish and do nothing and i'm an evil Cow as well as my Sister, I cant win to be honest and it's really annoying me! My friend's think i'm turning into some loon, Why is it when something f**k's up in your life they presume ure all crazy and should be put in a jacket, i swear to god people r seeing me differently to what they usually do, I dont know what to do....I give up on everyone and everything!! I cant seem to get anything right anymore!! (Not that i did before anyway.) Well I will stop ranting now and leave you all alone lol Take care Love and hug's to everyone!! Lauren xxxx

Sad but happy

2009-08-20T15:02:03Z

Hi all, I'm having a bit of a weird day today at times i feel happy and i'm bouncing around everywhere and the next i feel like crying, I have no idea what's going on with me!!?? I've just read Jellyhunny's Blog saying about she lost her Mum yesterday and reading it brought me to tears, I dont know what i would do if i ever lost Mum....On a better note i made the most of Mum going out yesterday and bought myself a pool and invited some friends round, It took 5 hours to fill the bugger!!! Wish i never bothered now because i am soooo sunburnt the slightest movement and it's killing me so that's not really helping my mood today, I had work for a couple of hours so that kept me occupied, but still, people keep asking me stuff about Mum...I kinda wish i didnt know about it in a way or at least none else did i dont want to sound selfish im just sick of hearing it, because i dont want it to be happening i think i'm still trying to tell my self everything is fine and she hasnt got Cancer but unfortunatley reality hit's pretty hard and it dosent stay away for long Hope you are all well Love and Huig's Lauren xx

Keeping happy

2009-08-17T23:16:02Z

Today found out result's of Mum's CT to see if C had spread into blood and bones and they were all.......Clear!! Woop!! I know this dosent mean Mum has'nt got C anymore but at least it has'nt spread!!! I'm actually starting to get good at saying Yes to her now She ask's me for something i just smile n say Yeah sure!! Admittadly sometimes i have like a 10 second moan but then i just use that little brain of mine and do as she asks. I dont know why but i have been feeling very chipper Today..And that is strange for me!! My temper is still all over the place but i dont mind because it's just my Dad and Sister that get it haha. It's not like my Sister try's to purposly wind me up...(Yeah right!) But i'm just used to it now so a simple ''Shut it or i will put ure head through the window'' Usually does it haha She used to be like go on then before allof this was happening but i think she know's there's a time and however long Mum is going to be ill is'nt it lol. So Smile's all round for us all, Gave Mum one of the biggest hugs ever when she toldme :D I just couldnt contain my self :) :). My new motto is.... Keep Smiling and Dont give up!. Lot'sof love Lauren x

Mum's starting to break!

2009-08-14T20:45:00Z

Mum had a little cry today, she wouldnt let me hug her she say's ''If it turns out i only have a few weeks left i dont want to be doing all of this shit!!'' Meaning the housework and bills ect. I do try n help around the house but i'm not much use!! She ended up pushing me out of the door and telling me to go away, so i did. When i came back tried to get her to eat lunch bujt she was adamant she wasnt hungry, so i emptied and loaded the dishwasher brought in the washing from the line and made her a cup of tea! Think she had cheered up a bit more by then, I wanted to cry with her today but definatley didnt want to break in front of her. I dont want to break at all really. What to do?? I dont know much about anything anymore.... Lauren x

Mum's got Cancer!!

2009-08-13T01:27:24Z

Hi my name is Lauren and i've recently found out my Mum has Cancer i dont know how to deal with this in all honesty!! I want to kick scream shout and go mad!! I hate myself in a way as i think because of all the stress and stuff i have put her through in the past it's kinda my fault she has it, because i have to be honest i was and still am the child from Hell!! I mean i'm 18 years old i need to grow up!! But i'm trying but i cant see to get the old lazy argumentative sod out of me! i'm going to be there for her through out it all and will care for her and give her kisses and cuddles whenever she need's them, But how am i going to do this when i can hardly cope with what's going on, my problem is i show emotion through anger unlike my Sister Kerry who's 20 dosent show emotion at all...her friends are telling me Oh you need to realise your sister is going through the same as you why should you get all the attention??? WHAT??!!! Attention!! For god sake i dont want attention i just dont want my Mum to die of Cancer!! What is wrong with everyone? I could'nt care less if no-one even spoke to me ever again as long as my Mum got better! I hate the way people presume just because my Sister dosent show how she feel's it's because no-one cares! I care!!....Infact i care alot!!!! When something like this happens it truley makes you realise how much i need my Sister and my Dad Infact all my family. It also makes you realise how much i need my Mum...It didnt make me realise how much i love her because i love her so much anyway that if it was a feeling like pain i would be dead!! If anything My Mum is my best friend and how could i live without her!! All i know is my Mum is healthy young and strong and if anything she wont go without a fight!! xxx