For 8 months I have been on the cancer rollercoaster. I stepped down from my position as store manager into a sales role to concerntrate on the battle I appeared to have ahead of me. It showed in my bloods and I had all the symptoms of a rare one - lucky me - I was told WHERE is the tumour - not IF there is a tumour.
After a rigourous round of various tests including specially funded overseas ones - there was nothing found. Now oncologists are excited that by continouing to monitor me, they may be the first in the world to watch this rare type actually grow. From now on it is hopefully as simple as MRI and bloods every six months - and as soon as it appears - chop the nasty out - done.
At first I was surprisingly angry - I had prepped myself mentally for a battle with a big nasty - and it up and miraculously disappeared on me - I was to say the least a little bewildered and very pissed at 8 months of hell for apparantly no reason. Thanks to my friends on chat- I learnt to accept if for the good news it was and stop focusing on the journey
The problem now is that since it seems to be all over (for now) I should be returning to my pre-cancer life - but I am struggling with the decision. Work has already approached me about stepping up again - why am I so unsure??? Cancer is a huge priorotiser - Part of me wants to get back to normal - however I am different emotionally now - and Normal for me, is different now.
I know in the grand scheme of things - this is an unimportant decision compared to those others are facing regarding treatments etc - but its part of the rollercoaster I had not anticipated, and I would appreciate any comments.
