How do I prepare myself?

2010-02-06T22:29:52Z

My dads in a hospice at the moment because he's losing weight, suffering with dizzyness and nausea. When we were told in December 2009 that his camcer was terminal and he had 2 years maybe, I thought once we get his meds sorted we'll get him out and start living the rest of his life.

But my family think I need to start preparing myself and I'm in denial about how long he's actually got left. But how do you prepare yourself?

When he went into the hospice on Thursday I really thought It would just be to try and feed him up and monitor him. But he looks so poorly today.

Reading other peoples blogs and stories on here has made me realise that their stories are similar to mine in many ways and therefore I must accept the future but I thought he would get abit better before worse. But now i'm thinking maybe not.

All the way through my dads illness, since 2008 I always thought he would beat it!! Poor dad if i'm feeling sad goodness knows how he is feeling?? He doesn't talk about it, maybe he's in denial too.

Dads diagnosis

2009-12-02T23:06:41Z

Went to the hospital today to get results of dads CT scan. It wasn't good news, Dads cancer is terminal. He possibly has two years with radiotherapy. I am still shocked although it is secondary lymp node cancer I thought it would be treatable. I hope he gets some quality of life soon, since having his biopsy in October he's had an infection in the wound that won't go away even after a stay in hospital. The infection is really affecting his daily life as he mainly stays in bed. I want him to fight this!!! I fear if he carries on suffering he'll not make it to 2 years. Strange though after hearing the news today he perked up and even got his appetite back. Requesting fish and chips!! Scared of whats to come, don't want to cry too much now as I know there will be many more to come.