Care at home?

2011-01-13T10:22:52Z

Hi new to this so sorry if im inthe wrong place.

My mum has just been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer which has metastised to the brain. The oncologist, who suggested that mum may only have weeks left here (although i have no idea how long weeks is) is not going to give any treatment apart from steroids to reduce the swelling. She also had a major stroke 5 years ago which has left her relatively blind - only sees shadows and faces up close and a little confused - but can understand everything and has normal speach etc. She is coping well, although very tired and confused, with limited mobility. My question is about home care.

My dad was given some options yesterday - she can stay where she is in hospital, she can go to a care home,or she can come home. He said he cant get any help at home through the day from macmillan and that there would be no medical care available throught he day also - is this right? he wants to put her in a care home, which i know mum doesnt want. We are a large family of 6 children surely between us we can sort out some care that would not leave my dad at home on his own with mum. Are there any leaflets or anything which can give me some more information on the help available? Dad is 80 and in good health, although very frail looking, but i know with proper help he would be fine. I'm not sure he has all the answers and dont know who to ask for help about it. I dont want to go behind his back if he feels he really cant cope with mum coming home, but surely she has to have a say in what happens to her? The care home suggested is a good one, but is basically an old folks home - with most of the residents having dementia/altzeimers. Is this the best place for her? All thoughts and suggestions welcomed.

thank you

Confused !

Care at home?