Bubbly's DiaryJust my general ramblings!https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/bubblys_diary/atomTelligent Community (Build: 12.1.2.21912)2011-01-20T01:03:54ZIn Limbohttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/bubblys_diary/posts/in-limbo2011-05-14T21:14:47Z2011-05-14T21:14:47Z<p>How does one keep being positive when SO many things happen? Things that aren't related, not health related, just life being crap?<br /><br />Friends getting ill, ex-partner having a child that you can't ever have, losing your job, your own problems (!), protecting family?<br /><br />My standard response is normally 'I'm fine thanks' or 'I'm good thanks' when people ask me.</p>
<p>I think my heart might be broken, it hurts so much. Bubs will continue to be 'bubbly', but my heart hurts and I don't know even where to start to fix it.<br /><br />OK madam, deep breath! go to room for a chat... maybe some of my peeps will be there!</p><div style="clear:both;"></div><img src="https://community.macmillan.org.uk/aggbug?PostID=424508&AppID=31447&AppType=Weblog&ContentType=0" width="1" height="1">Former Memberhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/members/formermemberI will continue to be bubblyhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/bubblys_diary/posts/i-will-continue-to-be-bubbly2011-01-28T04:09:04Z2011-01-28T04:09:04Z<p>Another week gone by and so much seems to be going on. Why can there not be week of calm?</p>
<p>Yesterday was the funeral of a friend of mine who killed himself before Christmas. I know it sounds daft, but it made me think about my Grandad.</p>
<p>My gran has decided to go and live with her eldest son down in Cornwall, which is definately a good thing for her, but it makes me sad, like I'm losing her in a way as I won't see her much. I'd never tell her that of course, I just want her to be happy. It was her birthday this week, the first one without Grandad.</p>
<p>Hospital for me next week, wonder what will happen, what the next step is going to be.</p>
<p>I've now told my mum, my closest friend and work. My mum is in denial and doesn't believe it, my closest friend is great about it, but doesn't really know what to say and work are ... well, still as demanding as ever!</p>
<p>Well another night passed and no sleep again. I might as well get up and go to work early!</p>
<p>I will, however continue to be bubbly, just have to put things in boxes and deal with them.</p>
<p>Anyway, enough rambling.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div><img src="https://community.macmillan.org.uk/aggbug?PostID=399646&AppID=31447&AppType=Weblog&ContentType=0" width="1" height="1">Former Memberhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/members/formermemberAmazedhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/bubblys_diary/posts/amazed2011-01-20T22:39:21Z2011-01-20T22:39:21Z<p>I set my notifications up to email if I got a response to my blog, not expecting anything at all. I was sitting in a meeting and my blackberry buzzed all over the place. I was amazed, not annoyed, just amazed.</p>
<p>Today has been a day of it, everyone has said lately that I've been quiet but apparently more so today!</p>
<p>I asked for time off for 2 days next week for a funeral (it's about 100 miles away) of a friend of mine and have been told no because of the project I'm working on. I can't remember the last time I sat at my desk trying not to cry!</p>
<p>I'm so tired all the time and am just about getting through the day. I don't know if that's emotion or the illness!</p>
<p>I need to pull myself together, but am finding it hard.</p>
<p>Anyway, enough ramblings</p>
<p>xx</p><div style="clear:both;"></div><img src="https://community.macmillan.org.uk/aggbug?PostID=397850&AppID=31447&AppType=Weblog&ContentType=0" width="1" height="1">Former Memberhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/members/formermemberA Starterhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/bubblys_diary/posts/a-starter2011-01-20T00:03:54Z2011-01-20T00:03:54Z<p><br />Well I've been on this site for just over a week. I thought I would start this, because sometimes you just need to talk to yourself - I do it all the time!!<br /><br />This page and chat room is amazing, everyone here is just so nice and I am amazed at how welcoming people are. It's so sad to see how many people are hurting from this disease as either a patient or a carer.<br /><br />So, where do I start about me? </p>
<ul>
<li>A number of miscarriages and progressive infertility - 2003 - 2009</li>
<li>Endometriosis & PCOS - Diagnosed 2005</li>
<li>Hysterectomy - May 2010 (which cures the above)</li>
<li>Blood Disorder so emergency op - May 2010</li>
<li>Grandad liver tumour and passed away - August - 15 October 2010</li>
<li>Bowel Tumour - November 2010</li>
</ul>
<p>So not a great few years (and I'm only 28!). I work full time (except May - June this year) and some how get through. I stand by my profile name - Bubbly... if you don't laugh, I'd go mad!! </p>
<p>I know this seems a rather clinical way of describing me, but I guess that's how I deal with things. I miss my grandad sooo much and that actually upsets me more than me having the tumour!! The silly things that I think about more than when he was alive. I wonder if he is watching me now? When I go to my Gran's I can't help but ache to see him. I have a hole in my heart where something is missing. :(</p>
<p>I'm current having steroids to reduce the tumour. As i say, that part doesn't really worry me, I am ok to go and have the operation when it comes alone and not tell anyone! Perhaps too independant for my own good!</p>
<p>Anyway, enough rambling for now... </p>
<p> </p><div style="clear:both;"></div><img src="https://community.macmillan.org.uk/aggbug?PostID=397572&AppID=31447&AppType=Weblog&ContentType=0" width="1" height="1">Former Memberhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/members/formermember