Beckie Lou

Mum Has Passed Away :(

2010-11-13T21:39:50Z

Hello All

i lost my mum on the 2nd if october! after a long 3 years battle i sadly lost my beautiful mum! I am finding things a lot harder than i expected! i am feeling very low and miss her more and more as each day goes past! I am struggling with the fact that my mum is dead!gone forever my beautiful angel has been taken from me! i am 21 years old and i feel like i have not had her for long enough i feel so angry and bitter at the fact that shes not going too see me get married oor see my kids! how do i cope? she was my best friend my hero! The funeral was extremely hard as it the first funeral i have been too! i managed too read a poem for my mum which i wrote myself i prey too god she could hear me! :(

I have recently got a job as a care assitant and i am going too train too be a nurse! i feel i really want too do this to give back what all the amazing people have done for my mum! I just wish with all my heart i could call her and tell her i got the job and what i am going too be doing but i cant! i cant even talk too her! :(

Please please can someone give me some advice!!

thank you xxx

:(

2010-07-14T12:07:07Z

Thank you all so very much for the lovely messages! i cannot explain how much you all are going to help me! thank you!!

I have been supporting my Dad as much as i can but some days i find it so hard not to break down and cry in front of him. I dont get upset in front of my Dad otherwise he may not think i am strong enough to support him... So i try my very best to be a strong as i can be.

Last night i went to see my mum is hospital and i just broke down into tears, i had to walk out of the room because it was soo hard seeing her looking disabled. She was crying saying she hates being washed and etc by the nurses and she doesnt want to carry on. It hurt like hell.. I am feeling at the moment for these past 2 years i have been so so strong like rock hard and sort of pretended this was not happening too me... Now i feel its hit me like a ton of rocks and i am finding it so very hard to keep myself strong... i know i can be and i know i will be because i am me, and i am like my mum. she brought me up to be the way i am and i will always forever be thankful to that... I just miss having a mum so very much now. And i wish some how i could do something but i cant :(

Its been alot harder for me recently as all my friends just stopped talking too me.Because i wasnt going out etc, they have been nasty too me and i dont know y! i just dont know why people cannot understand how hard this is for me.

All i can say to you guys is thank you so far! i really feel like i going to help me :)

xxxxxxx

why o why cant things just get better

2010-07-14T12:06:13Z

Someone please tell me why people have to go through pain and upset!!! Y my mum? i have had enough :(

I really need someone to support me!!

2010-07-13T16:13:59Z

Hi,

Iam 21 years old and my mum got digonised with Lukema 2 years ago. At the time she got digonised my nan (my mums,mum) died of lung cancer. It was such a hard time in my life. Mum has a bone maror transplant and it didnt work so she had to have a top up. Now 2 years on she is still fiting that CMV virus! she got told about 1 month ago there is a infection in the brain, we had to go through so much. it kills me seeing the people i love so upset and in so much pain! I just dont know what too do any more? my mum now has lost all feeling in her legs and arm, she cant do anything for herself.we are waiting for the doctors to have a solution now! I have had such a hard 2 years,lost my nan had to deal with all this, lost my job about 3 months ago, all my friends just stopped talking too me. Please can some one tell me things will get better for me? Because at the moment i feel lost! I miss having a mum and a dad. It causes me so much pain seeing my dad upset and i try and be brave too be stong for him but its just so hard. Seeing your dad cry!!!

Does anyone know how i feel??