A view from the other side of the ditch

Ron's mum's funeral

2010-03-30T22:27:58Z

Tomorrow we fly to the UK for Ron's mum's funeral on Thursday. A lot of the family will be gathered together and I think that a lot of people are going to be upset by the change in Ron since they last saw him. He hasn't been very good today and, even to me, looks ill.I have a feeling that his dad has been minimising the problem to his sister etc and it is going to be very hard on both Ron and myself explaining. His next chemo session should have been Thursday but it has been put back a week(the chief infermiere, who has to administer the chemo in home, can only do it on a Thursday as it takes 1 1/2 to 2 hours of her time). Having it done at home is much more confortable and Mme Bouteneigre the infermiere(nurse) told Ron that she was treated by the same oncologist 10 years age for breast cancer and she thinks that he is a good doctor. My blood pressure is very high (no suprise there) and I must try exercise and less wine to lower it. Trouble is, if I cut out the wine I might need sleeping tablets. No win situation.

Ron's mum

2010-03-21T07:18:48Z

Ron's mum died yesterday. It was a release really as she wasn't eating and rarely conscious. We will go to the funeral, naturally, and it means that we must fly. I get conflicting opinions about flying after chemo. This site states somewhere that you should not fly for some months after chemo but our oncologist says it's OK. Has anyone any experience? I am now worried about Ron's dad. They had been married 62 years and it is very difficult to cope after such a long time together.

Now Ron's mum

2010-03-12T14:44:34Z

Ron's mum has been admitted to hospital today with acute renal failure. She had been getting worse and worse over the last year and had just been admitted to a care home as his dad, who is 85, could not cope anymore. I do rather wonder whether her symptoms had been put down to her age(84) and general dementia but it's too late for recriminations. It is possible that she wont last the day out. Being so far away means that he can't easily go to see her even if with the chemo he is allowed to travel. I feel so sorry for his dad having both Ron and Joan in this situation. Ron's sister was nearly killed by a drunk driver 6 years ago. She spent 5 weeks in a coma and is not quite the person she used to be. Some people seem to float through life with no problems while others .........

Another day

2010-03-11T16:51:57Z

Ron has had his first chemo session at home. This is very comforting but surely is not at all cost effective. We picked up various medicins from the pharmacy yesterday(I think that we should be due some sort of pressie for the amount of business we have put their way) Today a "black box" was delivered, a bit like a tool box, and the nurse turned up witha further carrier bag full of bits. The actual biz took abouth 1 1/2 hours. Further nurse intervention will be ongoing for several days.

news after the scan

2010-03-09T21:31:47Z

doctor Le Duc was pretty upbeat today. He reckons that the chemo has shrunk the tumours. A pity that there was a scan missing between the two he was comparing! Ron will still have to continue with chemo but LeDuc has changed one of the drugs as Cisplatin can damage the kidney function. He was taking alimta and cisplatin. Better news is that for the new chemo he will not have to go to hospital and stay in for 24 hours but the nurse can come and administrate it here at home. It will take about 2 hours. Not having to face hospital food is a plus. I feel a bit better now and the doctor has said that we can go on a little holiday to the UK even flying.

panic setting in

2010-03-07T21:30:12Z

Tuesday we receive the results of the latest scan. I am worried. What could the results be? Stabilised - I hope, spread to the lymph glands - then what?, further spread then what? I know that I should just wait and see but I am sure that lots of you out ther understand how I am feeling. If it has become either stable or has gone beyond hope we will try to get back to the UK. The health care here is brilliant but if there is no hope your requirements change.

another scan

2010-03-05T15:35:46Z

Ron had his post chemo scan on Tuesday. It was done at the scanner in Brive which is only 20 min away. A doctor showed us a single shot from the scan which showed some liquid on the lung. This worried Ron as it previously built up to the extent that he was taken in as an emergency admission and had it drained and "talced" The doctor said that unless it caused a problem they would do nothing. We will see the oncologist to discuss the situation next Tuesday. My blood pressure has been very high lately, due to stress I think. I can't afford to be ill while Ron has problems.

Further family visit

2010-02-27T08:23:45Z

This week we have had a visit from Ron's father and brother. Coming over from England meant that they stayed a few days. It was a change for Ron but non whatsoever for me. I still barrowed the logs in from the wood pile. I still laid and fed the fire and brought baskets of logs up from the basement several times a day. I still worked in the garden (large)clearing fallen leaves etc. I would not expect help from Ron's father. He is 85, frail and looks after Ron's mother who suffers from dementia but his brother never once offered to help even with the washing up. It is almost as though he does not realise how ill Ron is. He was even saying that if he and his wife come over again in July we could all go to the races in Pompadour. I restrained myself from pointing out that Ron may not live that long but I screamed it inside.

Tim's visit

2010-02-16T09:30:17Z

Ron's son and family have visited for a few days. One of the disadvantages of living so far away is that they have to fly. Fortunately they can get from Liverpool to Limoges which is only an hour away. Tim seems to get bigger every time we see him. At 6' 8" he towers over his father who is a mere 6' 2". As Ron has lost weight and his hair has thinned as a result of the chemo he seems smaller and older. They share a love of trains , large and model, so it was a treat to see them working together on Ron's layout in the basement. I am not sure that the grand daughter , who is 12, really grasps what is going on but Ron enjoyed seeing the family. This winter has been exceptionaly cold, the sort of cold that gets into the bones. We have had to cut the grass in February before now. Ron feels the cold more these days and I spend a lot of time fetching wood and feeding the log burner. Roll on spring.

An intro to me amd mine

2010-02-09T11:39:15Z

I am Val. My husband, Ron, was diagnosed with mesothelomia at the end of Nov just days after his 61st birthday. We currently live in France and I thought that as well as recording my feelings and fears it might be of interest to others to know how the French system differs from the NHS. It is a good service and waiting times are virtually unknown but I am not sure that I would rate it at no 1 in the world as some publications would have you believe. It is also not free.If you are affiliated to the system you pay about 8% of your income over a threshold. A visit to the doctor currently costs 22€ and a call out starts at 38€ for a daytime one plus extra for night or weekend and travel is also charged. You have to pay this upfront as this is how the doctor gets his money I believe. The government repays about 70% of the cost and your top up insurance (another cost of anything up to 120€ a month for a couple) repays the remainder. Medicine costs are similarly funded.

The NHS looks better now does't it?

Having said that I can't fault the treatment Ron has received so far. After a false diagosis of a pulmonary embolism late September he suffered a pleural effusion and had a scan, biopsy and talc treatment early November. Following diagnosis at the end of November he has had a course of three sessions of chemo at three weekly intervals. We now have a wait for the last session to work and then another scan.

I will follow up with more thoughts on treatment, French hospitals etc.