Feeling LOW LOW LOW

Hi Nerak,

Sorry to hear you are feeling quite anxious.  I know I'm not in quite the same situation.  But I too have 2 girls and I would be devastated if what has happened to you happened to my girls.  I care for my grandad you see.  Anyway I found that it helped grandad when he set himself realistic goals to acheive.  It is hard for others to fully understand when they haven,t actually experienced cancer at close quarters.  Some people even avoid us because they don't know what to say.  Anytime you want to tlk hun and need a good listening ear, you can always come talk to me.

Sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved.

Take care hun, be positive and enjoy your daughter because i know she is very precious.

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))) x

I can't begin to understand what you have been through because I am not walking in your shoes. It is one thing being a cancer patient and I have been a carer and have nursed cancer patients but we are talking adults.

I hope you have some joy with this social worker. I wish I could give you some good advice but I can't and I hope all continues to go well with you daughter. Take care..........love carol x

Reneesha you kind of summed it up actually as people do find it hard to say the right thing and do stay away. I feel I have done that to some degree, but mys sister always says she is ok. Hoever, she isn't now & has really plunged into the dark despair pit. The doubts have set in & I need to get these banished. We are actually talking aboout 'it' now in the open. I'm going to do what you say & set some realistic goals for her to work to & I'm going to get a bit more bossy so she takes care of herself more. No point in wearing herself out & not eating properly whilst she puts her lad first. He will (gently) learn that his Mother comes first and she will be told she has to eat more & rest more so she will be able to fight this back & get her positive attitude again.

Nerak- you have to take care of yourself as well. People do care & probably kick themselves after when they have spoken to you (I know I have & cringe at some of he stupid things I have said) I talk on here as I don't have anybody to really open up to here in the 'solid' world.

Sorry you feel so alone through this Jewels, hope you have found this site useful to share and 'let out'.  Thats why I put this Blog up, I know people do care and would HATE to think they have upset me, so I smile back and pretend everything is ok, but here I can shout & kick & scream without offending anyone - and it works as a vent for me anyway.

I too am very protective of my younger sister (12 yrs though!) and its a totally different ball game you are having to deal with there, as are all of us here really, we can only share our experienceds and hope that they may help someone else suffering.  I hope that Raneesha's suggestions work out for you - sounds very positive and your sister is very lucky to have you.  My sister has been my rock through this and I honestly would have struggled so much more without her.  

Jewels it must be so hard for you to see your sister in despair, but if I may say, please let her talk and let it all out and she will hopefully be able to bring herself out of the dark pit.  The worse thing is to have the 'worst' thoughts just going around and around in her head, feeling scared that she cant tell anyone.  I would imagine she would try to protect you by not telling you her worst fears, but she needs someone to talk to to let it out of her head before it drives her crazy.  Just let her know it is safe to talk to you.  It will obviously then be very hard for you to hear, but you will be strong for her, and then you can come here for the support you need in turn.  I hope your not offended by any of this and that it makes some sense, cos I tend to waffle!

Carol, thank you so much for your message, it is very touching to receive from people who have already been through so much themselves that they have time to support others.

Love to you all.

X

Nerak - Not offended at all & it's good to hear from people in the same boat. IThis place is my sanctuary in a way. Breakthrough today as we have actually talked  and she has opened up a lot (for her) to me. Might be my imagination, but I think she maybe felt better for saying it. She says the despair / panic comes over her in waves - it does to me all the time. Promised I'd cook her a curry (sorry I'm rambling now) as she can't taste much of anything so maybe I can blast some sense into the tastebuds. We have kind of reached a compromise where she does what she prioritses her son on the condition she asks for help when required for trips to football etc & she improves her diet to get some more slow release energy foods inside her. She has given her Cancer Dr full permission to tell me anything, but she herself doesn't want to know the details regarding prognosis etc. Well i'm running on adrenaline & can't relax tonight, but am ready to collapse. It's retail therapy tomorrow while she hopefully has a lazy day recuperating as the chemo kicks in.I'll come back with some treats for her. Fingers crossed she realises that this is what big sisters are there for ! Big glass of whisky tonite & I'll be off in the land of Nod (I hope).