Note on headline: This is not entirely true, I am currently eating pizza and drinking champagne whilst watching gogglebox, sh*t is actually very much the same as normal but I thought I would go sensationalist for more attention. Perhaps I’m in denial or perhaps the pragmatist in me realises that until I wake up at some point on Sunday/ Monday, there’s zero value in worrying about anything that hasn’t happened yet. Either way, I’ve still got 24 hours to do some cool stuff and eat and drink as much as possible.
Things I’ve done this week
- Gym every day – everything hurts but hopefully this will help.
- Dropped dumbbell on phone …. Expensive workout that one.
- Battled with bupa (pr*cks).
- Upset rucksack w*nkers. ( point of clarification: it’s only those people who don’t take rucksacks off their backs on the tube that make me angry. Rucksacks are useful, effective means of transporting one’s crap and prevent back trouble, apologies for any offence caused.
- Milked the farewell drinks element even more – thanks to everyone who came out and enjoy the next couple of months of relative sobriety without me around.
- Downloaded shed loads of music.
- Started compiling list of films and box sets to plough through. (Starting with Face off, Jaws, Scarface, My left foot ( in my face).. Feel free to suggest others!
Bupa rant
Inevitably surgery like this does not come cheap but seeing as I’ve been throwing money at bupa for the best part of 20 years, I thought it was time to cash in. Imagine my surprise when bupa offered to cover £3500 towards the operation…. Which is actually going to cost £23,500! Bet they bloody wear bupa rucksacks on the tube too!
Now then, this is not a shameless attempt at getting you all crowdfunding for me. (I’d only spend it on sweets/ booze/ Porsches anyway!) if you do feel the urge to part with your hard earned money, can I suggest Macmillan or cancer research or something equally do gooder like instead. ( or just send me the cash and I’ll forward on… Honest …#porschefund. )
Update….. After some very calm (ahem) “debate” on the phone for 2 days bupa have all but agreed to cover most if not all costs of surgery… God love ’em. Bupa: Front line staff amazing, policy makers: pricks!
Things I’ve learnt this week:
- My initial shock at having difficulty with mastication after surgery was short lived. (Look it up).
- My handwriting is awful… My 5 year old niece is better. This could make communication tricky next week.
- Text to speak style apps may help point 2.
- I am a child… The first 10 words I saved in said app are swear words.
- Macmillan offer free massages for cancer patients.
- At least 11 of my friends are now considering posting comments relating to “happy endings” following the point above… You know who you are!
- Writing a will is dull ( I gave up).
- The company I work for, IBC, has been unbelievably supportive and re-assuring since learning my news. Not having to worry about this makes dealing with everything else infinitely easier.
- Apparently off piste, mogul and freestyle skiing are not recommended for people without fibula bones…. Whatevs….going to ignore this advice I feel.
- I have been overwhelmed at how many visitors and views I had for last week’s post….from 17 different countries no less! (If anyone is going on holiday soon to Africa, Russia, South America etc etc, please re-read via wifi.)
- Self indulgence is underrated.
- Spurs let Arsenal beat them to 2nd place after reading my first post… God love ’em.
- Positive thinking is apparently the key to beating cancer.
On the final point, I don’t want to be dismissive but can I suggest that advances in medical science, skilled surgeons, research investment, good nutrition, radiation treatment, morphine etc figure higher up the list? To be fair, the fact that I’m lucky enough to be able to benefit from all of the above allows me to stay positive… The irony…
Coming next week:
- How many tubes can be stuck into the human body.
- Positivity takes a teeny tiny downturn.
- Gruesome pictures.
- How I made this whole thing up for attention.
