Please do not continue to read if you are easily offended by comments of a sexual nature....
Today I went back to see the Prof who carried out my surgery, these appointments require you to leave your inhibitions at the door.
A full internal examination was required today, fortunately he didn't use the rather large speculum you have when a smear is taken, but a rather more delicately sized one, ladies will be familiar with the knees together, flop relax routine, yeah right your coming at me with that and you want me to relax! There was also a full hand sweep of the vagina. The good news is everything has healed.
Prof is refreshingly honest, my concerns are not dismissed by him like the GP did, he does not accept that my vaginal health is a lifestyle choice and insists I should be able to enjoy a full sexual relationship.
For the first time in over a year I feel like I have choices, they are limited but they are choices.
We discuss HRT and our concerns and decide to continue not to take it, for me whilst the hormone levels would be less than my pre menopausal levels the risks are too high, he expresses concerns about the mix of cancers.
I need to keep my vaginal walls healthy so doing nothing is not an option, I need to have enough vaginal stretch for future examanations.
I'm dismayed that the Prof feels he has to tiptoe around these issue as previously he has offended ladies with some of his recommendations - ladies please this has to stop, there is nothing wrong in a healthy sex life if that's what you want, I am so confident in this I am not remotely embarrassed or ashamed with sharing this with my children and other people I know.
So plan of action lubricant, I have lots of lovely samples to see which I prefer both water based and oil based, dilators for daily use starting with the smallest size available, a selection of vibrators (not available on the NHS in case anyone's concerned I'm having too much fun at taxpayers expense 
) and if he could he would prescribe sex twice a day...
I have the option for vaginal estrogen but have to accept this will present a risk if there are any rouge cells floating as it will accelerate their growth.
The main message was I can enjoy a healthy sex life agin but it's going to take time a certain amount of discomfort and yet more patience.
There were also raised eyebrows that I'm back at work 4 days a week so I do really need to try and put in place a more flexible working pattern.
