I look well but you should see my insides

2 minute read time.

I'm sat next to patients waiting on their chemotherapy treatment - the "Chemo Ward" sign above the door gives it away.  I'm here for my 28 day cycle injection of Lanreotide which will hopefully keep my Neuroendocrine Tumours at bay. I look all around, the temporary beds and the waiting room are full and all I can see is people who don't look very well.

No matter how many visits I make, I can't help feeling out of place on a Cancer ward. I'm not sure why I feel like this; after all I've had some very scary surgery and I'm still being treated after 5 years. However, this thought doesn't seem to balance it out - some of these people may also have had surgery and are now having adjuvant chemotherapy to get rid of remaining cells.  Others could be heading for surgery after their chemotherapy treatment reduces the tumour bulk.

But isn't that the same as me having 2 months of somatostatin analogue treatment plus a liver embolization in preparation for my surgery.... and then a further (albeit aborted) liver embolization after?  Perhaps the same principle but somehow this still doesn't seem to balance out as some may have been undergoing palliative treatment.  Additionally I suspect most of the people I saw today are probably destined to lose their hair - at least I didn't have to suffer that distressing side effect - although I do put up with many others.

I guess there's just something conspicuous about chemotherapy and it's side effects that seems to integrate it with most people's view of a standard cancer treatment regime. I wish all those people I saw today well and hope they all get through their treatment.

I think the perceptions of cancer patients can be somewhat stereotyped and people generally expect to see ill and poorly people when they see people with cancer - both at the point of diagnosis and during treatment.  That said, some cancers can be as invisible after the treatment as they were before diagnosis.  I have an incurable Neuroendocrine Cancer but I looked well at diagnosis and I look well today.  However, you should see my insides.

Thanks for reading

Ronny

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Please note all information provided in this blog is my own views and opinions and is therefore strictly for educational or discussion purposes. Moreover, it does not constitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or care.

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