Well here I am.

Back at home after surgery and a slightly longer than expected hospital stay.

Due to holidays I was handed to another consultant therefore I was facing surgery with no prior meeting. I was anxious anyway but the night before surgery I had a call from the man himself! What a difference that made! Felt totally reassured about what was coming plus the man had a delightful sense of humour. 

No laughter on my part when we actually met  just before surgery and confirmation that as well as a slightly wider margin to remove lump, lymph nodes from both sides were coming out. Frightening - but there I was and it had to be done. So with wobbly knees I walked into the op theatre - funny situation. What seemed like a roomful of people all turned and smiled, welcoming me in. It felt like I was about to give some sort of performance!

And so ..... came round feeling NO PAIN! Eventually taken to a ward and spent the next week trying to recall some of the things which caused me amusement. I could give more medical details and will if anyone asks but for this space I wanted to look for the things that made me smile.

Lovely consultant appeared fairly early the next morning to check out his handiwork. It felt slightly surreal to see this ( and I have to say rather handsome) gentleman shining a blazing light and peering at my ‘undercarriage ‘ and saying ‘Beautiful, just beautiful’ !! Totally hilarious and I have laughed to myself many times over that one!

My lovely husband visited with the news that he  managed to sit on and break his glasses. I’ve only been gone 24 hours - what next!

Consultant came again and said he wanted the bed to be angled slightly differently. He played around with controls - it looked like a video game. Various bits of the bed went up, down, folded and eventually there was a crunch, at which point he handed the controls over to the nurse. This was getting hysterical but I had to control the laughter as it hurt. The lovely nurse, also falling about, asked how exactly he wanted the bed. The reply? ‘What would be ideal is if we could suspend her upside down from the ceiling, but I’m not allowed’ More hilarity!

I had been told clearly about how many drains and tubes I would have after surgery, but it didn’t really sink in. Getting out of bed was a mammoth expedition. Fast forward a couple of days and I was out of bed more and even venturing up the corridor. Not an easy journey with drain bottles and catheter. At the end of the corridor was a waiting room for the many day patients waiting for various procedures. I think many are now mentally scarred as a result of watching me dragging all the clutter along and walking in a very awkward manner as everything was swollen from surgery. Their poor faces ....they would have been anxious anyway. I do actually feel quite bad about that. It seems that most in-patients walk the other way. Guess I have a left-hand preference.

Painkiller adjustment caused some misery. I felt so sick and the anti-sickness made little difference. Felt like never finding anything funny again, ever.

I had such excellent care in hospital. Every single person I met was just lovely...doctors, nurses, healthcare workers, cleaners, people who brought food, absolutely everyone! I couldn’t have had better treatment and I feel so very fortunate. 

i am home - where I am surrounded by family and friends who always make me laugh even in the dark times- and that’s what I’m hanging onto. It’s going to be slow crawl to get moving and I await further results. 

And I will keep looking for things to smile at.