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  • Blog Post: 6 months tommorow but feels like yesterday :( x

    Posted by
    Posted over 3 years ago
    I can not believe it will be 6 months tommorow since ju passed away in my arms, i feel so sad just like it was yesterday all those so painful memories ive worked so hard to forget have come flooding back , that last week was so devastating ,he fought so so hard and just wouldnt let go ,and ive never...

  • Blog Post: not sure how to start so here gos,

    Posted by
    Posted over 3 years ago
    Well i will start with saying thanx for the pm,s ive had from friends on here and on facebook with support for sunday ,and since ,i know i havent replied but thats not coz im not grateful i am but i have had a few really tough days ,and yes i should have come on here and said that but i didnt want to...

  • Blog Post: I think positive me is back again :)

    Posted by
    Posted over 3 years ago
    Well im back to my usual cheery self ,thank godness , its been a tough few weeks with lots of first's , but as usual me and the kids have got through it together , we are now so close its lovely , But i have realised im doing too much, im exausted, im loving organising this charity event but i...

  • Blog Post: At last you can rest in peace ,xx

    Posted by
    Posted over 3 years ago
    Well ive not been right for a few days ,very tearful ,up and down like a yo yo, i even cried myself to sleep one night ,and i havent done that since ju first died , I hate being like this as im such a happy positive person ,even though i know its "normal" lol me normal ! but i now realise...

  • Blog Post: i got my fighting spirit back at last ,,,

    Posted by
    Posted over 3 years ago
    I really hope i dont offend any of you with my language in this, but its about time i felt like fighting again,, as off my last 2 blogs you will know i was wondering if id made right decision going back to work , well im glad i did it then or what i have just found out would mean def not, i wouldnt have...

  • Blog Post: i am such a proud mum ,

    Posted by
    Posted over 3 years ago
    Well lets start with the result .... sadly after playing very well portsmouth lost but thats not the important thing,,, ill start with the night before , I heard my son singing songs from the lion king at the top of his voice in the bath ,it was so funny ,bless him , he was so excited he couldnt sleep...

  • Blog Post: this week is just getting worse !

    Posted by
    Posted over 3 years ago
    I really do not know what to do with myself, im so bloody miserable ! and its just not me (despite my last few blogs),, i honestly feel worse than when ju first died, i dont know if i was in shock or if it was just relief that he was at peace at last (that sounds terrible but hope fully you know what...

  • Blog Post: feeling so sad,

    Posted by
    Posted over 3 years ago
    well ive had an awful weekend , i had my first *good day * on friday ,i went out with friends for the day and had a really nice time , one even commented on how nice it was to see me smiling, but ever since ive been feeling so low and the tears .well its never ending ,i feel like i did the first day...

  • Blog Post: bitter sweet day today ,,

    Posted by
    Posted over 3 years ago
    well i started today knowing it would be very sad, but also happy , for those of you that dont know ju managed a boys footy , he started at under 8 S, they are all now 12, same boys you move up with them, i was also involved too, anyway a few days before ju died they only went and won the league , unbelievable...

  • Blog Post: feeling sorry for myself , ,, and thats not like me :(

    Posted by
    Posted over 3 years ago
    Where do i start, ive wanted to blog for a while but didnt know what to say, well i think its the only way ill be able to explain how im feeling, and no one else understands except you lovely people in macland, I will start by saying , i may say im ok when asked ,but of course im not , what a bloody...

  • Blog Post: RIP sweetheart xxxxxxxx

    Posted by
    Posted over 3 years ago
    well i started yesterday feeling very sick, i thought it was going to be a disaster, when i put my trousers on they drowned me, i didnt realise id lost so much weight, my mother and sister in law arrived 5 mins before the car and hardly said 2 words to me, makes a change, so me and kids just looked out...

  • Blog Post: i feel at peace but lost at same time

    Posted by
    Posted over 3 years ago
    I cant believe its been a week since ju, passed away , i still feel lost as though a part of me is missing, yesterday was my worst day i was distraught, i never thought i could feel that much , physical and emotional pain, i couldnt see my way out till something really strange happened, im not going...