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  • Blog Post: 6 months tommorow but feels like yesterday :( x

    I can not believe it will be 6 months tommorow since ju passed away in my arms, i feel so sad just like it was yesterday all those so painful memories ive worked so hard to forget have come flooding back , that last week was so devastating ,he fought so so hard and just wouldnt let go ,and ive never...
  • Blog Post: i got my fighting spirit back at last ,,,

    I really hope i dont offend any of you with my language in this, but its about time i felt like fighting again,, as off my last 2 blogs you will know i was wondering if id made right decision going back to work , well im glad i did it then or what i have just found out would mean def not, i wouldnt have...
  • Blog Post: i am such a proud mum ,

    Well lets start with the result .... sadly after playing very well portsmouth lost but thats not the important thing,,, ill start with the night before , I heard my son singing songs from the lion king at the top of his voice in the bath ,it was so funny ,bless him , he was so excited he couldnt sleep...
  • Blog Post: this week is just getting worse !

    I really do not know what to do with myself, im so bloody miserable ! and its just not me (despite my last few blogs),, i honestly feel worse than when ju first died, i dont know if i was in shock or if it was just relief that he was at peace at last (that sounds terrible but hope fully you know what...
  • Blog Post: feeling so sad,

    well ive had an awful weekend , i had my first *good day * on friday ,i went out with friends for the day and had a really nice time , one even commented on how nice it was to see me smiling, but ever since ive been feeling so low and the tears .well its never ending ,i feel like i did the first day...
  • Blog Post: bitter sweet day today ,,

    well i started today knowing it would be very sad, but also happy , for those of you that dont know ju managed a boys footy , he started at under 8 S, they are all now 12, same boys you move up with them, i was also involved too, anyway a few days before ju died they only went and won the league , unbelievable...
  • Blog Post: feeling sorry for myself , ,, and thats not like me :(

    Where do i start, ive wanted to blog for a while but didnt know what to say, well i think its the only way ill be able to explain how im feeling, and no one else understands except you lovely people in macland, I will start by saying , i may say im ok when asked ,but of course im not , what a bloody...
  • Blog Post: RIP sweetheart xxxxxxxx

    well i started yesterday feeling very sick, i thought it was going to be a disaster, when i put my trousers on they drowned me, i didnt realise id lost so much weight, my mother and sister in law arrived 5 mins before the car and hardly said 2 words to me, makes a change, so me and kids just looked out...
  • Blog Post: i feel at peace but lost at same time

    I cant believe its been a week since ju, passed away , i still feel lost as though a part of me is missing, yesterday was my worst day i was distraught, i never thought i could feel that much , physical and emotional pain, i couldnt see my way out till something really strange happened, im not going...
  • Blog Post: not sure how im going to do this,

    I was right , i just wish i was wrong, sometime to much knowledge is not helpful, im talking time scale, but as family and children dont know im not going to say on here, but its not long, so all eventualities covered for if children cant cope , everything in place for my hubby , but if im honest what...