Hi, My mum was diagnosed with this thyroid cancer on Thursday, it only came up within 6 weeks and it is growing on a daily rate which is very visage, she starts her radiotherapy on RMH tomorrow, and has only been given upto MAX of 6 months to live with treatment.. I don't know how I'm feeling, I cried at first and then a memory comes back and I wanna cry knowing I won't have memories for the future and she's not going to see my daughter who's 3 now grow up, what's worse, my uncle died today of lung cancer and had been fighting for just over a year with that. So my whole family is in shock with everything at the moment. I don't know what to feel and I don't know what questions I'm supposed to ask her doctors/ nurses when I am see them, I know it's all palliative car, but i don't know how I'd feel with someone else coming into my home as my mum lives with me and looking after her, I want to do it all for her. I just feel stuck in glue and I can't move forward or backwards?! A I making sense?! All my cousins/aunts etc keep asking if I'm okay, but I feel it, but I can't talk anymore, it killed me enough having to tell my family when we found out about it as we thought it was just a goitre my mums only 61. I know I've got to try and talk to my mum about what she wants but I just can't face doing it, I know mi being selfish for putting it off and would kill me if she went tomorrow and I never asked her anything, but how do I and what do I say?!?! I'm just confused.... Anyone else feel the same? Thanks for reading X

Hi Lauramarie,

I say welcome to this group but I'm sure you'd give anything to not be here. I am very very sorry to hear your Mum's diagnosis, everything you describe sounds so normal under the circumstances. I see you mention RMH, I am at The Marsden too and you are at an excellent hospital, they will do everything they can. Try to take any support you are offered and ask for help if you need it because then you can concentrate on spending precious time with Mum for however long she has left rather than always doing stuff.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Kazzyx2

Lauramarie, I am SO SO SO sorry to read this. Anaplastic is an absolutely dreadful diagnosis and I feel so bad for you and your mum.  Coming on top of your Uncle's death, this must be just too much right now.

I don't have experience to share but I can suggest a book that you might find helpful. I read it over Christmas and it's Lisa Niemi Swayze's book 'Worth Fighting For' which tells of her final months with her husband Patrick (yes, THE Patrick Swayze). Her attitude to making the most of limited time is really inspirational. If you can get a copy, I think you might find her infectious enthusiasm for not wasting the little time you have left and enjoying every moment together could be helpful.

Best wishes

Barbara

Hi Lauramarie,

 

Huge hugs to you. You're not being selfish at all, you know. The stuck in glue feeling is a natural reaction to the sudden bad news.

 

You might already have found these pages on the site, but if not, they could be a useful starting point.

 

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Ifsomeoneelsehascancer/Talkingtosomeone/Talkingtosomeone.aspx

and

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Ifsomeoneelsehascancer/Talkingtosomeone/Makingsureyouhavesupport.aspx

 

Are you in touch with your local MacMillan Centre? Because they can help you as well as your Mum.

 

Thinking about you

 

xxx

Hi Lauramarie

Very sad news for you and not easy.  Big big hugs to you.

Your not being selfish you need to time to think and don't be hard on yourself for that.  Maybe sitting down and making a list of questions might help you.

It will naturally happen talking to your mum I hope, it can sometimes be tricky.  We have had several family members die of cancer over the years and its not an easy thing for some to talk about. 

I haven't looked on here, but I am sure there are some pages on being a carer and what to ask.  I know there are carer groups you can join.  Cancer Research Uk also does good info pages with most having questions that you can ask about. 

All the best to you all and keep posting if and when you want to.  We are all here to help as best we can.

Lolabean :)

Hi so sorry to hear this There does not seem many people on here diagnosed with this my Dad was diagnosed on March15th 2012 they said he had 3-6 months he is nearly 81 and still doing well he had 36 treatments of radiotherapy but the tumour is eroded in to his windpipe and round his vocal cords so can not be removed he is finding it difficult to eat and does not have a lot of energy but he is still with us there is a little more information on the American forums ive found. Big hugs to you all there are lots of emotions going round in your head at the minute x

Hi Lauramarie. I've been trying to post for a while now but the site kept chucking it back at me.Sorry to hear your news.Things have improved in the treatment of  these rarer thyroid cancers over the last few years. You are under one of the best cancer centres so that is a def. plus. I always think it is worse for the family watching a loved one go through treatment. I should think you are all stilll in shock things do get a bit easier when treatment starts. As for talking to your mum I find my daughter and I have most of our indepth chats in the car one to one on our way to my appointments. I hope you find some solace on this site. Keep posting Good days to you and yours...Fran

Hi, Thank you all for your kind words and prayers, we've settled into a routine now, we're all just trying to stay as positive as possible, my stepdad has taken it all quite badly, where he doesn't want to talk about it at all. It has been hard with my uncles death too, but I don't know what else to say really, we're going to a check up today at hospital after having a weeks worth of treatment and see how it's going etc Sorry I hadn't been on since I posted but just having had time, with acing for my mum, my 3 year old and trying to run a normal household as possible time seems to just fly away, it feels like we've been dealing with is for months rather than just a couple of weeks, my mums had good days and bad day, were just hoping the good will out weigh the bad Thank you all again xxx