yesterday i recieved the phone call i was dreading. my mum was diagnosed with Mesothelioma. She was told she would start her chemo in 3 weeks but recieved her letter telling her it would be the 2nd Aug. they have told her its incurable and she would be offered painkillers.

i hate it theres nothing else we can do for her, i feel so helpless

Hi Mel,

I'm so sorry you've had such awful news and feel so helpless. It's good though that they're going to start chemo quicker than your Mum was first told. Do you know how advanced her illness is? Although they've said it's incurable, they may be able to control it for quite a while yet with the chemo and other medication.

I saw in your other post in the lung cancer group that you live some way away from her, and that you are expecting a baby in a couple of months. That obviously means you can't do much physically for her, but you can still talk to her on the phone & keep her spirits up. Is there anyone who can go to chemo with her, and look after her when she gets home? If not, it might help to get in touch with her GP, or she may have a Lung Specialist nurse at the hospital, this is a common practice these days. I had one and she was marvellous at helping us through the first few dreadful weeks after my diagnosis. 

There is a group on this website called "Being a Relative" where there are other people in similar situations to yours, and I'm sure you'd get a lot of support from them. If you click on "Groups" at the top of this page, and then type in the name of that group, and then click on  the "search" button, it will take you there.

Try to take one day at a time and not look into the future too much. I know that sounds hard when you are so upset and scared, but it really is the best way to get through this.

Love and hugs,

Twirly  xxx

Dear Mel,

so sorry to hear your news and as others have said yes it might be incurable bit some people manage to live for quite a few years so it is worth being as strong as possible for your mum.

goodluck

amanda

Hi Mel, I hope you're okay. Firstly, I know awful it is to receive that news and the complete panic that you feel. I want to give you some hope as my Mum was diagnosed with meso in 2007, nearly 5 and half years ago and she is still here. She has been through a number of rounds of chemo and radiotherapy which have kept the cancer at bay. My biggest piece of advice is make sure you talk to your family and friends, there are loads of support groups available as it is also very hard for the family as well as the patient. If you ever want to talk, please do get in touch. I'm not sure where you live however at Addenbrookes in Cambridge we have a charity called the Wallace Cancer Care who are excellent at supporting patients and family during this difficult time. Take care, much love Caro x