We are Macmillan. Cancer Support
As I write this I am sitting looking at my mum smoking....She can do very little but smoke now. I dont nag her about it anymore whats the point. My mum is 54 and was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in July 2009. The doc at the time said she could have a good two years. She has been through 2 lots of chemo and radiotherapy. We received the bad news just before Christmas that the cancer had spread to her bones in the neck and both lungs. The doc told us mum only had one to two months left. I managed to get her out for a walk today in the wheelchair (a good upper body workout for me lol).She had a fall at the weekend getting up for her middle of the night ciggie...luckily my sister was staying with her and was able to help its scary to think she could have been lying outside all night. Its hard trying to decide how much care she needs we're torn between being here constantly incase something happens and leaving her in peace as my brother says she doesnt need a babysitter. Its been a great help reading all the stories on this site and knowing that you are not alone although I wouldnt wish this on anyone. Im just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on what to do at this stage. I wonder how other people have or are coping. Thanks for listening.
So sorry to hear of your news, life is pretty cr*p sometimes. I lost my dad to lung cancer, he didnt even smoke. In his last few days he just wanted to relax and have his family near. I hope you have close family to help you deal with the situation. Its not easy and nobody knows whats its like or can even begin to know whats its like.
So sorry to hear about your situation diane33. Having just been through a similar situation with my dear mum.
My mum was diagnosed with SCLC in March 2009 with a prognosis of 6 - 9 months. Having been a 20 a day smoker for some 40+ years, she immediately gave up to do anything she could to prolong her time here with us.
Mum had 2 lots of chemo and 1 lot of radiation and was on her 3rd lot of chemo when her ill health got the better of her and she passed away on 6th January - just 2 weeks after her 61st birthday.
I live in New Zealand but was very lucky to have spent 6 weeks with mum just before Christmas - and like you, would take mum out for a walk in the wheelchair on days she was up to it. But there does come a time when you start to notice your mum won't want to get up out of the chair so often (with mum this was because it bacame too much of an effort and tiring as her breathing was becoming more laboured).
It's lovely to know you have brothers and sisters close by - I have 2 brothers in the UK who are now looking out for Dad (he has Stage IV with mets to the brain and has just turned 64).
As for 'babysitting' - you should really spend as much time as possible with your mum - even if it's just sitting with her watching the TV... I can assure you, your mum will appreciate the company and you will be able to cherish the memories.
Mum and I had some great times in December - mostly laughing about the situations we often found ourselves in due to her inability to do simple things for herself anymore... but I will cherish those weeks :)
Feel free to private message me if you like.
sorry to hear of loss, but I agree you have to hang on to the laughter to get you through x
Sorry to hear about your Mum, I nursed my Dad through his last months and I know how difficult this can be.
Have you considered a hospice? I know that this often scares people, but I can honestly say that it was the best place for Dad to be and he was actually "happy" there.
Dad was in St Cuthbert's Hospice in Durham for just under a week before he passed away. We were told by the hospital that he had been referred there for help with his breathlessness before returning home. We had a bed, oxygen & the usual bathroom equipment and we were prepared for Dad coming home, sadly, he never made it after falling ill to pneumonia for the third time in two months.
The hospice was beautiful, so calm and peaceful and the staff were amazing, they wanted to be at work and they really did care about the patients and their families. I would strongly advise you to look into this option and consider it seriously, I was so reassured that Dad had the best possible care and we all had a say in that care plan. I know that if Dad had been in hospital rather than the hospice they would not have managed to get us all to the hospital to be with him when he passed away.
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time
Thanks simley1, Niccyka and Shelle for your replies. Im so sorry to hear of the loss you have all suffered. Thanks for the advice it is much appreciated. We did talk to mum about the hospice but she has said she would prefer to be at home so we have accepted this for now. At the minute we are just taking one day at a time so I am keen to make sure we dont rule anything out. I have a brother and sister who live close by (my brother lives with mum) and I live 30 mins drive away. Im sure it must be awful for those who dont live as close to their families in times like this. At the minute we are spending as much time as possible with her and building memories together. Thanks again for listening your kind words mean a lot Diane x
thinking of you all, i have been through, what you are going through with my hubby............keep strong x jackie x
Sadly my mum passed away yesterday. She had been admitted to hospital on Wednesday to fix her sodium levels and developed a chest infection overnight., she was almost unrecognisable yesterday morning. All the family were there when she passed peacefully which is a blessing. I just feel so bad I can hardly get a breath at times and just feel sick. Lung cancer is an awful disease and I feel so sorry for anyone who is going through it and their families. At least mum is at peace now. xo
so sorry to here your news diane33 thinking of you and your family at the horrible time. sending you all big hugs xxx Lonestar
If you have any questions about Macmillan we would love to hear from you
You can also follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Flickr or YouTube.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2015
what are these?