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HI all, Ewan went to Christies after being referred. He s agreed to take part in any clinical trial ( u get deperate ). He s having 2 nd biopsy this aft which takes ages for results to come backl ( the dreaded wait again!). He s quite pleased as he s been told it s slow growing so he will have time to fold up his business (hopefully sell it) and put lots of things into place. Times like this I realise it terrifies me the thought of having to sort out paying bills etc as he has always taken care of it. Don'ty know what the future holds but staying positive. Our close friends holding a mini gathering for us sat ( frinedsa coming from London, York etc ) . Means a lot and even if we only stay a couple of hours. Long gone now are the days of wild parties til the early hours.
Well love to everyone here. Lizzi xx
You have no idea how pleased I am for Ewan and you to learn the tumour is slow growing. See, there is good news to be found and you don't have to scurry about for it looking for it among the scraps of bad news.
Let's hope things carry on in a similar vein for you both.
I know what you mean about the bill paying. Laing looked after all that for me too, (I used to do it when he was in his managerial job before he took early retirement), but so much of it was internet based I was having to search high and low, but it's now all under control (famous last words!). Share more with Ewan, I wish I had done that with Laing, but of course we neither of us knew the end would be so sudden. Don't have only wishes or dreams, realise them!
Enjoy your gathering, but go easy on the cocktails!
Grief isn't fun, but life and living is.
Hi Tim, Thanks so much for replying. E got 2nd appt at Christies on 20th so lets see what game plan is then. I've had good and bad days. Yesterday was hard when I saw E clearing lots of his clothes out that dont fit. He s lost lots of weight. TRying to fatten him up. Hope you are looking after yourself. have you good support ? Do something nice for you this weekend, coffee and cake out, a good walk, a good film, catch up with friends. you are right about sharing more .Ewan hoping to have some good family time before chemo starts. How was Laing with the chemo ?
lOOK AFTER YOURSELF. lOVE AND BEST WISHES
HI Mrs M, Good news your husbands is slow growing too. Pleased R therapy helping. I agree with the tears. I have shed so many. It hits me sometime sout of the blue. Sometimes when my little boys teachers ask me I can't even speak. Has Dave lost lots of weight ? E lost the equivalent of 3 bags of sugar last wk,. Not good. Trying to fatten him up. He s thinner than me now.
We re scared too for chemo ( prob end of feb ) but a close friend said keep focussing on the end result to get through. Wise words. E s pain is manage d ok as long as he takes his pain killers so may all do a gentle swim on sat. Not taken the kids swimming for a bit. We used to go every week. E sfolks are having it hard. They are both often crying. Am being strong for them. Do u have children too ?
WEll try and do something nice this weekend. Keep us posted., Thnaks for your prayers. Love and best wishes. xxx
Don't literally fatten him up! Laing ate lots of fatty things and I believe in my heart of hearts that hastened the advance of his cancer. I have no evidence, just my own feelings. He, of course, said I was spouting Daily Mail rubbish!
This weekend looks pretty dire, but then so do most days. I am tidying up the house and throwing loads of things out (programmes of events I went to as a student 40 years ago and never looked at once since then). I'm not even sure I want to watch the rugby, though I would so love Scotland to beat England for Laing, but I think that is a forlorn hope. A friend is trying to organise me to get a valuation on the house on Saturday for Laing's estate. At least I own the house outright as we were 'joint tenants' when we took out the mortgage 35 years or so ago.
I've had a few personal successes. I bought new very firm pillows and had the best night's sleep for some time. I bought new phones and answering machine and installed them (that was Laing's domain, he was very tech minded). I made scrambled egg on toast last night, first time my main course was not prick-and-ping or out of a tin in the evening! Every little success for us as patients, carers, partners or widowers needs to be celebrated. I have three little sayings that sum up all the experience with Laing's cancer for me, and I hope they may be of use to anybody else reading this:
Every march starts with a single step.
Think positive, live positive, be positive.
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