Hello everyone,Not sure what the etiquette is on here but thought I would introduce myself.

My name is Karen and my brother has just been diagnosed with what we believe is lung cancer (although no one has put this name on it). His notes say he has metastatic adenocarcinoma with 3 tumours in the lungs. He has just had a pleural effusion on his right lung which has been drained and they found out that he had a hole in his lung and the lung had come away from the wall.

This was a shock to all of us, he had a cold for a few weeks which literally got worse over the course of about 4 days when he was rushed into hospital.He smoked for the best part of 50 years, although ironically gave up almost 2 months ago.

Our family is devastated right now, it is such a shock. What makes it worse is that this is yet another family member struck down by the big c, this cruel and vile disease that affects us all in such different ways.

I don't really know which way to turn right now, I want to support him but I feel like I have just gotten over my mum having cancer 2 years ago. And now this. I can't stop crying and feeling like I want to smash things and how the world is this cruel place that strikes good people down.

What can I do to support him, any advice is met with alot of gratefulness right now. I am also so very sorry for anyone else who has this truly awful disease x

Hi Karen,

I'm so sorry to read your post, but I want to welcome you to the Macmillan Online community. It really is the best place to be when things are looking grim - you'll find plenty of support, and lots of amazing people to be with you on this awful journey.

Of course you are angry, why wouldn't you be? You've clearly had more than your fair share (if there is such a thing) of suffering yet here is cancer kicking your door down again. Cry as much as you need to, vent your feelings, rant and scream here - this is a safe place where no-one will criticise and everyone will understand.

You've already joined the right group for your brother's disease, but there are others you might want to consider - "Carers" and "Being a Relative" for example. Have a look through the list of groups and read some posts to see if you'd be interested. There is lots of advice on how to support relatives, from people actually doing it.

Meanwhile, is there a treatment plan in place for him yet? Clearly he has lung cancer which has metastasised, but do you know what other part(s) of his body it has spread to? He probably won't be offered surgery because of the spread, but I imagine that chemo and/or radiotherapy will be, depending on the stage his cancer has reached.

Try to keep your brother's spirits up if you can - not easy I know, especially with your family history, but it's important just to take one day at a time and not look too far ahead otherwise you might both get frightened unnecessarily. And do please come back as often as you want/need to - there's no etiquette  except the normal courtesies.

With love and hugs,

Twirly xxx