I only joined yesterday. My partner has been diagnosed with a lung cancer and tomorrow we go for the 1st day of chemo.

He wants me to go to the gym, but the bus, tube and DLR journeys will take me about an hour (assuming bad connections) to get there and the same to get back to the hospital. I usually spend a an hour in the gym and and then an hour in the swimming pool, sauna and shower. S that is about 4 hours assuming bad connections and no signal failures, etc.

It seems a very long time. How long does the chemo session last? In some ways I want to be with him and yet we both feel there is no point both of us sitting there saying nothing, or worse going through the non-conversations we have had during the 14 days he has already spent in hospital. 

He is strong and facing this well. The painkillers have helped keep the pains in the lung at bay today. We want to both share the entire experience and yet we want to have both of us continuing our independence and separate lives. Squaring this circle is proving to be fraught with "yes, but" arguments.

Sorry for the rambling nature, but I am exhausted from the hospital visits and doing all the domestic chores he did for me as well as still going to work. He took early retirement and did so much for me.

Tim

Hi Tim

So sorry you have had to join this site.

My Partner was diagnosed a week before Xmas and had his 1st Chemo session just before the new year, The first session took about 7 & 1/2 hours  but he had to have ECG first to check he was ok to have it. He has since had two 6 hour sessions and one 3 & 1/2 hour sessions he has another short session this week and another one next week before he sees the oncologist the week after that, He is also having radiotherapy 5 days a week luckily these only take about 5 mins so wait for him then.

I normally go with him settle him in then go home and he drives back afterwards. We are only 5 min drive from the hospital which is good. Get your partner to take book with him and my partner normally takes a drink and some snacks, We are in Spain and they normally have helpers go round with drinks and sandwiches throughout the day!. People are not allowed to stay in the room here during treatment, you can pop in but not allowed to stay for any length of time.

My Partner used to do most things for me as well but it is amazing how you cope because you have too!.

Don´t worry about rambling i do it all the time, Have no real support in Spain so find this site so helpful and everyone here wonderful despite having their own problems,

Take Care xx

Hi Tim,

Welcome to the place none of us wanted to be, and I hope you will find it as valuable a resource as most people here do. You can ask anything you like, rant, cry, even laugh & there'll always be someone here for you.

To get to your question: how long does the chemo session last? I'm afraid that without knowing which drugs your partner will be having it's impossible to say. Also, it depends what kind of care he's having, i.e. if it's palliative, it will probably be about 3-4 hours, but if it's adjuvant (the sort you have after surgery when all the cancer appears to have been removed but a "belt-and-braces" job is considered appropriate to mop up any stray cells), it could be twice that.

So If you could say what type of lung cancer he has & what chemo is prescribed, one of us will probably be able to tell you the answer. If it's any help, I had stage 2b adenocarcinoma of the right lung, (non small cell cancer) with no lymph nodes affected & no spread elsewhere. After surgery I opted for adjuvant chemo, and was prescribed a combination of Gemcitabine and Cisplatin. This took a minimum of 10 hours to administer largely because of all the other fluids they had to put through me.

It also depends whether your partner's having private or NHS treatment. Mine was NHS, and there were never enough nurses to see to all the chemo patients when their bleepers went off to signal that a drip bag needed changing. However other people have found their hospitals to be very well-staffed and efficient.

So you see, there's more to your question than you might have suspected! Sorry not to be able to give a clear answer, but do come back with more info. if you can.

Love & hugs,

xxx

 

Blimey! I didn't expect this response! You two have helped already just by responding as you did. I know I'm not alone, but this helps me realise I'm not. I'm not much of a blogger so I doubt if I will be here much.

I think he's got non small cell adenocarcinoma (I can't find the paperwork).

He had had difficulty in breathing and I nagged him to go see the doctor. Typical male he only went when things were really bad. They drained him of some fluid, but a week later, on the Thursday  he was back and this time they drained 5 litres. On Monday they gave an initial diagnosis of cancer and this was amplified on the Tuesday.

Hell, I was expecting it, but to hear him say the word "cancer" (he told me, he didn't want the doctor to do it) hit me hard. He didn't see it coming, but I did, and yet I wasn't ready, even though I knew in my heart of hearts what it was, or at least in general terms.

Since then, we (and every time I talk about the cancer and him it is us - we are going to have chemo, we are going to see the oncologist, we will work to get him better, it is us, he bloody well isn't on his own, I am sharing and experiencing the pain as much as I can at this great remove) have become used to it. The cancer is there. I asked him if he had given it a name yet, like Dennis Potter gave his cancer a name (it was 'Rupert'). He said he was thinking about it. We have both shared a gallows sense of humour, and you know, it's helping us get through this. He isn't going to die of this cancer.

A bit more personal history, my mum's breast cancer reappeared and had spread few years later, but they stopped it and she had pills that kept it at bay. The irony is she died of a completely different cancer some 20 years later. I tell him this when he gets down or inward. In the nearly 40 years since her first cancer the advances have been immense. Thank goodness there was enough cancer in the fluid they drained that they didn't need to perform any surgery to get at it for a sample. I keep telling him he is lucky and we caught it early on. It;s just the bastard cancer is physically hurting him at the moment.

I guess I'm letting a lot out that I have bottled up and I guess it's not just to get it off my chest, so to speak (I am aware of the irony of the expression in this context), but to add to the mass of anecdote that I hope if anybody else gets to read this, in case they are anywhere near as in the same situation, that after the shock and tears, the hand holding, the "I don't want to lose you" and "We are going to get through this together" that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If it is an oncoming train, there's bugger all you can do about it, but the journey is still wonderful.

I hope I am making sense, but I really, truly am exhausted and I am letting the words just flow. It's as if I was too ashamed to join a group and talk about it, but what the hell, my mum and her sister both had breast cancer, my partner now has it. Those two old girls lasted a good time after each diagnosis. Was it luck? Was it just realising something was wrong early enough? Who knows. Somebody up there doesn't like me a lot, but not so much that I have lost somebody far to early to cancer (tho mum was only 63 when she died, and that was too soon, but I had about 38 years of her, my brother nearly 28, he was the one who was hit harder).

Sorry, it's time to wrap up and go to bed. We've got an easily start. Although he is supposed to turn up at 10 we intend to be there earlier than that, nearer 9. He wants to show willing!

Good night all.

Tim

Just to say good luck for tomorrow xx

Hi Tim, Sorry that you have ened up here, lung cancer is a lonely place so feel free to ramble. I was diagnosed with 3A adenocarcenoma in the lower right lobe of my lung. Following surgery I had 4 rounds of Cisplatin and vinorelbine with the Cisplatin I was admitted as a day patient to the oncology ward and was usually there all day. The vinorelbine on the other hand took about 30 minutes was was given on the day unit. Half way through I had a PICC line fitted as the chemo made it very hard to get a good line into my hand, often taking 6 or so attempts with lots of soaking in hot water. The PICC line made the whole process a lot less painful and much quicker. Also things don't always go to plan; I had one cycle of chemo delayed after coming down with hemorrhaging pneumonia and on a separate occasion needed 2 units of blood as my HB count had dropped to low (or as my wife said, I was being special!). Moral of the story always have an overnight bag handy as hospital gowns are awful. All the best for the chemo.

Good morning all.

I slept well, my partner not so well, but he's had good and bad nights. Your words have helped a lot both before and after sleep. It's wonderful to know people want to share their experiences. I guess we a re lucky our NHS hospital is only a short £8.00 taxi ride from home. Well, it's better than taking the tube and bus and gives us a different route (neither of us drives).

I've set up alarms on our phones to remind us when his pills are due for the chemo, some sort of steroids I think. I try to be supportive but let him control the situation. It's a delicate balance between supporting and yet not taking over. I guess as the bread winner the past few years I have taken on the more dominant role in the relationship. I think we are lucky we can talk about how much I take over and how much he overdoes it.  We are both strong personalities and we have had a few raised voices since the diagnosis, but you know, it is a healthy thing. He's learned I care and want to take away from him anything that will not keep him as strong as possible for the treatment.

Thanks again to you who have replied. I know there are others out there who haven't read this but who would be as supportive.

Day One, here we come!

Just wanted to say good luck for today and hope the treatment goes as well as mine did with no real side effects XXXXX