We are Macmillan. Cancer Support
Reading through this page has brought on a lot of tears but feel it has given me more of an idea of what to expect and what to look out for, thank you everyone who shares their story. I was told my dad had liver cancer nearly three weeks ago now and no treatment or full results since then. I am getting very angry with the lack of help we have only been told it is liver cancer and it is a very large growth which will continue to grow and has taken over most of his liver.
My dad is 61 and hadn't been himself for the past few months was constantly tired and lost a lot of weight very quickly (and he doesnt exercise) so he was referred to the hospital and after 4 weeks they told him it was cancer and now we're waiting by the phone for further results
I am just wondering if anyone can be honest with me as I want to be prepared? Is liver cancer always going to have a quick downfall? Is it inevitable? My dad was doing well when he found out and was told he could come home while waiting for results but in the last week he has completely changed. He doesnt eat (all he had today was half a cup of soup) he stays in bed most of the day and when he is awake he is constantly angry and horrible to me and my mum but was never like that he worships me and for him to shout at me is unusual. He also used to shower twice a day now he barely gets up to shower. His face has changed he doesnt look like my dad anymore. Ive noticed a yellowing in his eyes but nothing extreme.
Can anyone offer any advice of is this nearing the end or do we have a hope in hell? I just think how is he ever going to battle chemo (the doctor has mentioned this will be the option) if he doesnt eat.
Thank you for taking the time to reply to me what you meant really helped when I was at one of my lowest points. My dad was taking into hospital the morning after I sent this post, he just was losing his mind and the breaking point for my mum is when he admitted he was frightened and asked if if was in his brain as he knew he was losing it. It was a lot down to medication for his diabetes he was told to come off but they gave us no explanation why or side effects, he has just been very poorly cared for by the doctors and there is only so much we can do i guess!!
He's in the best place now (well maybe) so fingers crossed
Hi everyone, I have just joined this group and have read a lot of the posts on here and my heart goes out to you all. The reason I am on here is that currently I have an older brother who is terminally ill with unknown primary which has spread to his lung and bones. However, the main reason I am posting is because my best friends Husband was diagnosed in Feb this year (2013) with unknown primary which has spread to his liver and his lungs. Reading other posts, I am astounded to read that they had tests, went for the results, told they had secondary cancer of the liver and offered palative care because there was nothing else that could be done, and some cases were given weeks to live or months to a couple of years at most. My friends Husband first went to his GP last Sept (2012) with pains in his abdomen, cancer was not suspected as GP did not refer for any tests. Feb this year went to GP again with a lump in his abdomen, loss of appetite and considerable weight loss, GP suspected a hernia and referred him to hospital for the hernia. While waiting for an appointment, stomach got bigger and bigger, went back to GP and was told hernia had grown. Various tests carried out and in March (2013) friend was told, not a hernia but cancer, massive tumor in stomach, unknown primary which has spread to liver and lungs. No discussion took place, for example we cannot cure you, or you do not have very long to live etc nothing, the only thing they discussed was we do not know where the primary is, so further tests undergone. These tests took another 2 weeks or so. During the 2 week wait, my friend started to fill up with fluid and was told to keep his feet high when sat down and in bed. When they went back to the consultant for test results, all they said was that they could not find the primary but in the 2 weeks between the CT scans, tumor had progressed by quite a rate and was now causing the fluid build up. Once more no discussion of treatment, no mention of terminal, no mention of the cancer full stop. What they did was to tell him they were keeping him in and were going to drain the fluid and take a liver biopsy. What they actually did, was take him in, leave him for 5 days and then started to drain the fluid which currently stands at over 20 liters drained from him and still going. He has now been in hospital 10 days and they said they would do the biopsy tomorrow (Mon 20th May 2013) Once they have done the biopsy, he can go home as the results take 3 to 5 days to come back. When he goes back, they can discuss treatment etc. Over the weekend his wife has noticed that the whites of his eyes are now yellow and his skin looks yellow and feels clammy. Nobody, not anyone has given them a prognosis, but while reading most of the previous posts on here, the fact that he is now jaundice does not give a good prognosis. He is 61, is he going to die in the next couple of weeks. I appreciate that everyone is different, but his cancer has gone untreated since Sept last year and currently still not being treated. My friend is beside herself with worry because she keeps saying, every week they don't start the treatment, the cancer is growing and getting worse. My gut feeling is that the hospital probably know the outcome, is this why they are in no rush to even discuss treatment. OMG my friend has got the biggest shock in the world coming her way and she is not even aware of it. I have no intention of informing her of what I have read today because that is the job of the doctors, but I do need to be there to support her when the penny does drop. Any ideas/thoughts anyone please.
hi, oh my its alfull and so sad.
i am at the point with my love, he is yellow, and now sleeping so much, and geting forgetfull, its so sad, we were geting marriesdin june, alas i dont think that will ever happen now....he lives in kent i in sussex, both single parents...i have used all my hoilday for this year, and now will take unpaid leave, which is frightening,,as bills can build up so fast.
i just dont want him to suffer or be in pain, he isnt at the moment, and i hope he will never be.
i know he is scared of dying, and i am for him, what can you say to them, is alfull xxxx
I feel so sad for you two. The only thing I can suggest is to LOVE him all you can, and spend as much time as you can together. There may not be much longer you can be together.
My dearest husband of 2 years, died last week 5 days after the doctor told him he may have 6 weeks! He just went to sleep but moved enough for me to hold his hand literally just before he died. The morphine makes sure they are not in any pain. I am still in shock. The Marie Curie nurses came for the last 2 nights, and were a great support. See if you can get their help via the District Nurses.
Make each day the best you can, my heart goes out to you both.
It is so very hard and my heart goes out to you. Take Helen's advice and just love him as much as you can. Taking unpaid leave is hard but you won't regret doing it to be with him and help him (I took unpaid leave to care for my dad). The Macmillan nurses and local hospice, as well as district nurses were great, so get all the help you can and don't be afraid to ask for it. They will all understand what you are going through. And remember that you're not alone in this... we'll all be thinking of you and your loved one.
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