Re: help.. i need support to be able to support my daughter!!

Cervical Cancer

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help.. i need support to be able to support my daughter!!

No. of entries: 7 | No.of favourites: 0 | Posted on 01 Jun 2012 12:58
  • Hi to all on here, not a group i would have wanted to join out of choice, but glad it is here nonetheless. My eldest daughter was diagnosed with cervical cancer about 6 weeks ago, and two weeks ago today had a hysterectomy. What i am struggling to come to terms with apart from the obvious heartache, is the negligence of the female GP she went to see time and time again who didn't refer her except for an ultrasound approx 8 months after seeking advice.

    Unfortunately i had only just had an op as also had cancer, and wasn't in a position to fully appreciate what she was going through..still feel horribly guilty though. When she was first diagnosed we didn't know what stage it was at, my worst fears were that after such a long time with these symptoms that it would be untreatable, and i started thinking i was losing her. It was without doubt the worst thing i've ever been through. Although the tumour was a massive 7.5cm it had been contained, but she still has to have chem-radiation in a month's time. She won't ever have children, and this is something she is most upset by, i am just glad she isn't going to die..selfish i suppose.

    We have looked into possible action against the GP, but nothing will change the fact that the choice to have children has been taken away from her, something she may never be able to accept.

    Anyone else in a similar position?

  • Without knowing all the facts, it's very hard to know why this was missed, but it is important to remember that she is going to live. Not all cases are picked up either. I'm really sorry her cancer was so progressed, and I don't have any advice for taking action against a GP, perhaps start with a complaint to the General Medical Council. I can only speak for the care I have received thus far and it has been speedy and communication has been clear, although I appreciate that this is not the case for others. I wish you and your daughter all the very best.
  • Thanks, so far she's had brilliant treatment from the hospitals, it is only the GP we have issues with. We've had mixed experiences with communication, at first it was pretty good but since then it has been up and down. We go tomorrow to find out more about the chemo-radiation and i will go there armed with many questions! I do feel she is lucky, when we went for the results appointment i cried, not because they confirmed it was cancer, but that it was most likely only stage 1-2. I was so relieved.

  • Hi Mum of three,

    Sadly a lot of ladies who are diagnosed with cervical cancer have been visiting their GP for a long time and they are often missed. I'm sorry that your daughter had to experience that too.

    I was told by my GP after an internal exam that I did not have cancer! I was then referred non urgently and when I had the biopsy results 3 months later I had stage 2b. My GP retired the day after my appointments so I did not make a complaint but I think you need to go via your GP practice first. 

    I would highly recommend Jo's Cervical Cancer Trust www.jostrust.org.uk both for support and information for you and your daughter. During and after my diagnosis I have found it to be a lifeline. There are plenty of ladies on Jo's who understand what it is like to lose the opportunity to have children. I lost mine at the age of 29, 9 years prior to my cancer diagnosis but it is a difficult thing to deal with. It does get better with time and I was lucky enough to have a fantastic husband I hope that your daughter has or finds that support too.

    I hope that everything works out for your daughter. The chemo-rad is hard going sometimes but it is doable. It knocked me for six by the end of it and I was truly exhausted and couldn't even get out of bed for about 6 weeks after treatment finished but then your body regains it's strength.

    Good luck

    X

  • Hi, thanks for your reply. Sorry you've had to go through such a terrible ordeal, it does seem frighteningly common, not only cervical cancer but the difficulty some GP's have in diagnosing it. Not sure why that is! My daughter was bleeding so heavily towards the end that she had to have two blood transfusions, and prior to diagnosis couldn't even go out as she was too weak. At least looking on the bright side she should feel slightly better than that from now on!

    We are still unsure about whether she is having chemo/radiotherapy as the appointment she was given for this week turned out to be wrong, with the wrong specialist in the wrong hospital.

    I have already been in touch with Jo's Trust, my daughter hasn't spoken to anyone yet but i am hoping she will do soon as she must feel isolated despite the support we are all giving her. Her boyfriend is amazing, he has given up his studies to look after her, and in fact wants to train to be a nurse, bless him.

    Thanks again xx

  • So sorry to hear your news, but your daughter sounds so strong, were in a similar position, our daughter had the radical hysterectomy a month ago, she went back in confident all was gone and has now been told there are pockets left behind, very small that were left via her lymph nodes and is sue to start radiochemotherapy, Im in pieces for her, shes desperate to have a child by any means and has been told, being as they left her ovary in, there might be a chance they could do something, but the window of oppurtunity is very small, she has to start radiochemotherapy in 4 to 6 weeks, as sson as her scar heals, can anyone offer me any advice on this Im not handling this well, my daughter is inspiring, shes so positive, I want to help her, thanks Jo xx P.S. I cannot log on to Jos Trust for some reason??????

    Worrried mum of 25 year old daughter with cervical cancer, who is my world, wanting to talk, help, support and learn from other brave people suffering, I only wish to comfort and love and feel so alone without your support, selfish as Im not the victim here, but I offer you all my words of encouragement and information I receive through my daughters experience x Jo

  • Don't know if this will be any use to you, but my daughter had to have a radical hysterectomy. The surgeon suggested 17th of May but she was also referred to the fertility department and they said they would freeze her eggs for her as she was having her ovaries removed as well. They hurried the whole process and I think it took about 2 weeks. You have an injection to sort of turn off your reproductive system, then they stimulate the ovaries so they produce more eggs than usual. She had to have two injections a day in her lower tummy, then towards the end she also had to have one in the evening as well. They send you all the stuff and she was supposed to inject herself, but she's got a phobia of needles so we got her brother, who happens to be a nurse, to do it for her. She also got some Emla cream (I think that's what it's called) the stuff they use on children  to numb where you inject , and you can buy it from a Pharmacy. You have to go for internal scans almost every other day so they can check how the ovaries are doing. When the eggs were  collected she didn't have a general anaesthetic  but she was sedated and can't really remember anything about it. Result, she's got seven eggs frozen. If you look for figures on freezing eggs the chances of actually having a successful pregnancy are low, but she wanted to do it and it made her feel that she hasn't quite lost everything. She had her hysterectomy this morning 31st of May and as far as we know it went well. Of course we've still got to wait for the lab results so we're keeping our fingers (and everything else ) crossed. As far as helping your daughter goes, you are helping her just by being Mum. It's so hard because if your children are ill it's worse than being ill yourself. I just feel life would have been a lot fairer if it had been me, but let's face it , life is sometimes very unfair. Love, Pam.

    Pam Batha

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