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I was so pleased last week! going to get adjuvant therapy scans clear small cycst on liver they thought so rescan in 6 months. Ye onc decided I should have a liver ultrasound just in case it NOT cyst WOW wasn't expecting that! all i can think of now is I have gone from believing treatment for cure, to OMG if mets in liver I am a gonner. Has anyone lese been through this and come out other side. ever since they said have ultrscound i have be fixated with liver poking and prodding, is it enlarged? does it hurt am i getting pains! havent slept since 2am and although i know i cant change things even if its not a cyst but how on earth do i deal with it my head is spinning my mind is racing and my heart is going ten to the dozen just like the day of my lumpectomy op when BP went sky high. I suppose i am being wingy but i cant help but put this in writing somehow comforting ithink. Also will my treatment plan change do you think they will still give me Hercepin etc. Only hoping someone recognises how I feel. Thanks Guys
tomorrow is another day
Scarlett - I can't help because I've not been quite where you are, but know that you are NOT alone. There's no point saying don't worry, it's going to be on your mind, but try to keep busy and think of other things if you can. I know the night time will be the worst - can you see your GP and get some diazepam or something just to help you through the next few weeks?
Lots of hugs
Hi Scarlett93,Try and concentrate on the fact that it showed as a cyst - it seems from what you say that they had been happy to leave it for another 6 months. At least by having an ultrasound, presumably they can tell for sure what it is. Try not to worry about things in the future as they may never happen. Sorry I can't be of more help, but one thing I have realised with this cancer rubbish is that it is almost 95% mental and 5% physical in a strange sort of way. If you can get your head clear and not let the worrying thoughts creep in, it seems to help somehow. Not easy I know but good luck - I am thinking of you and wishing you the very best. Big hugs. Cassie xxx
Fortune favours the bold
Scarlett, I understand completely how you feel. I have anal cancer though, but wanted to reply as to the liver bit... I was told I had innumerable lesions on my liver. All over it. Then they said probably ok and scan in 6 months and of course as the scan date comes you worry and every ache etc makes you nervous. I then had a scan and he's fairly confident that it was not mets. So I uber analyse what he meant by fairly... and then next scan he says oh yes, we were tracking your liver and that nodule on your lung weren't we... wtf? so now I worry about my lung before every check up.
I am over a year after treatment and they are now saying they think that they might just be freckles on the inside as he put it and just stuff. So, please try not to worry too much, though of course you will. It can sound like the end of the world and its not in the end. And the way I look at it is this...
If you worry for 2 weeks and its fine, then what a waste of all that time worrying over nothing, and if its not ok, then you shouldn't waste 2 weeks worrying about things and enjoy yourself instead cos worrying doesn't do any good whatsoever and whatever happens you will deal with because you will and can, same as you have dealt with things so far and it will be ok. Worrying won't change it either way. I would say though that livers aren't usually the first places to spread to from the breast so probably fine and they are doing belt and braces checks with you... same as with me. and one cyst is treatable so take a few deep breaths and remember you are listening to a woman with innumberable spots on her liver, who is home from working full time and a swim.
big hug to you
Little My xxx
I am in a similar situation to you. I am being treated for inflammatory breast cancer and have had 6 cycles of FEC-T and a total MX with full ancillary node clearance. I am having Herceptin and am due to start radiotherapy for 5 weeks on Monday. I was also going to have 3 further cycles of Tax as a safeguard as IBC is so aggressive.
I saw the oncologist a couple of weeks ago and he said he would re-scan my liver as they had found a 2mm lesion on it which he thought was a cyst but he wanted to put my mind at rest. When I saw him this week, he said the 2mm lesion is still there and they still think it's a cyst BUT they had found a new 4cm lesion. I was totally shocked as I wasn't expecting anything like this. I haven't finished my treatment for IBC and so this has really thrown me.
I am due to have a liver biopsy early next week and will know the results within 2 weeks. My extra chemo has been postponed although I am continuing with Herceptin and the radiotherapy to my chest area.
I can really empathise with how you feel and wish I could make it all go away for you. I did post in the Liver cancer secondaries forum and received some really helpful and comforting replies so it may be worth you looking there. At the moment, we don't know what our lesions are so I am trying to hold onto that and look on the positive side. If it is anything sinister, they have found it early and there are some good treatents out there. Yes, it's changed my plans (yet again) but it's got to be got through, like all the other treatments we've had.
I see an excellent psychologist at the hospital who works just with cancer patients and I am finding that really helpful. Could you access anything like this where you are being treated? Ask your BCN or see your GP.
I have had some very dark moments and I'm not sleeping well, either, but I've got good support from family, friends and the forum and that's enormously helpful. It's just playing the waiting game that is so bloody difficult.
Take good care of yourself and try to lose yourself in a book or a film for a couple of hours. Take a walk, listen to music - anything that can stop that endless cycle of 'what if' going through your head.
Sending you big hugs, Shelley xx
I am nearly the same age as you and have had similar treatment
too. In July I asked for a CT body scan
as I had pain in my stomach, they found a 1cm something in my liver. I then had a MRI liver scan to find a cyst
and something that they cannot identify at this time. I am on my 3rd
cycle of FEC and in December I will get another MRI and hopefully the results will
not be life threatening.
I do not write on
this forum very often but I do read it every morning. It allows me to have a
bit of a grizzle and vent my emotions (30 seconds maybe) then get on with the
rest of my day. I have found the advice help and kindest is second to none. Helen mentions Diazepam, I take 2 or 3 tablets
on chemo days – it helps a lot.
Believe me I do understand how you feel. Please try and get
the idea that you are 'a gonna' out of
your head. You are not 'a gonner'. With
regard to liver cancers, teaching hospitals in the UK are respected around the
world and give the best treatment possible. Even with the worse scenario, I could live a
very long time. However, on a positive note I believe that it is another
cyst. Chin up – Thinking of you. Christine x
"Never give up, never surrender" (Quote from a favorite comedy film Galaxy Quest)
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