Hi,

I know there are lots of you ladies out there who are and have been in a much worse state than myself.

I was diagnosed in Sep 11, had 3 months of hormone therapy treatment before surgery for a left mastectomy and total left lymph node clearance in Feb 12 followed by 3 weeks of radiotherapy in May 12, at a hospital 40 miles away from where I live, and now back on the hormone therapy treatment. Because of slight heart problems and the fact that I responded well to the hormone therapy treatment it is has been decided that I do not have to have any chemotherapy. Having seen several ladies on chemotherapy when I was an in-patient for 10 days during my radiotherapy treatment I know I am very lucky with regards to that. I was an in-patient because after only 2 days of radiotherapy I was experiencing aggravation to the severe nerve damage I had already suffered from the surgery. Also, besides the nerve damage I have problems with the surgery site or should I say 'butchery'. So much pain for so long. The hospital which did the surgery is not the same one where I had the radiotherapy. If it wasn't for the lovely people at the hospital where I had the radiotherapy I would still be so much pain from surgery.

Since being diagnosed I have received very little contact/support from the BC nurses and feel as though I've been just left to get on with it. Most of the time I have remained fairly positive but now I just feel abandoned wondering where do I go from here. I know that in about 4 - 6 weeks time there should be a follow up appointment with the Oncologist and should have a scan to check on my heart. Even though I have the support of a couple of really good friends and my son there are increasingly more times when I feel lonely and very tearful.

This Fri, I start a Relaxation and Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation Practices Course in the hope this will help me. The course was suggested to me by a lovely lady, a Macmillan Counsellor, when I was an in-patient during my radiotherapy treatment.

As the Forum topic says, I'm having a bad day at the office and needed to share my thoughts. I hope you ladies don't mind.

My thoughts are with you all,
Helen xx

Hi Helen,

So sorry you are having a bad time..

I had amazing treatment from hospital and BCN.. I get really annoyed thats not the same for everyone..

If I was you I would contact the Oncologist Secretary to arrange a follow up appointment.. When I finished my treatment in 2010 I saw Doc every 3 months and have now graduated to every 6 months. Especially as you say you have had problems with your heart..

Hope the relaxation course helps.. Just feel free to vent your feelings !!!

Regards

Debra

Hi Debra,

Thanks for replying.  I've contacted my Oncologist's secretary and have got an appointment to suit me but have heard nothing from the surgeon as yet.  Not that I want to, particularly, because of the state of the surgery.  Probably silly I know but it's the way that I feel.

Lots of love,

Helen xx

Hi Helen sorry you are having a rough time , I'm only a newbie on this road , i go for mastectomy and axilla clearance next week but so far my BC nurse and the hospital have been great. I think you will find your relaxation and mindfulness helps , i do that and find it wonderful, the main thing when you go is not to expect anything  just go with the flow and allow yourself time .You have every right to feel angry, happy sad or any other emotion you want

 

love and light

Elaine xxxx

Hi Helen

So sorry you are feeling like this. Glad you have an appointment book and hope this helps. Sorry to hear your surgery has left you in pain. I hope this starts to ease soon. Have you tried to ring your breast nurse. I haven't heard from mine since diagnosis but she did make a point of telling me to ring her if I had any concerns. I'm not sure if they ring you to check up on you but then I haven't had surgery etc so that may make things different.

Could you perhaps give her a ring and voice your concerns, it might help with things.

Sending you a big hug and I hope you start to feel better very soon xxx

Hi Helen

Just to say sorry you are struggling - i had a terrible vertical hysterectomy scar and was really depressed about it as it was quite keloid but I did find a way of resovling it so that now i am fine with it and it does look loads better. If you want to add me as a friend or send me private message happy to correspond with you as it takes time and i never thought it would be ok

For my MX scar I am using rose hip oil and that is making a big difference to it and it is healing well and fast, helps with swelling too, not sure how so you may want to try that.

 

xxx

Hi helen sorry your experience has been poor so far but i woud also suggest calling your bn they are till there for you no matter how long since you were diagnosed thy also sometimes run movin forward courses which helps you to move on after the initial surgery and treatment... You can also request a referral to a plastic surgeon to discuss your wound and scarring. Glad you have your onc appt you can also discuss your concerns with him. Xxx

Helen, like everyone else I'm sorry that you're having a bad time. My breast care nurses couldn't be better and my hospital is a centre of excellence.

BUT don't ever apologise for "being silly" - I'm new to this site but welcome the fact that I'm talking to other people who have been through (or are going through) the same things and will have had the same questions as I now have.

In my working life I often sit in meetings where it's obvious that someone doesn't understand something but doesn't want to ask a question for fear of "looking silly" and so I'll be the one to say something because I'd rather get the facts than keep quiet.

Hope things improve for you