HI Amanda,

I went to the doctors with a lump lass than a month ago and had cancer comfirmed by a biopsy, had a wse on Wednesday and waiting for the results and my treatment plan on 13th:))

I too only heard the word 'cancer' and though it was a death sentance, but the more you read the more you find out how treatable it is.

Take one day at a time, go to the middle of nowhere and have a good scream if thats what you need to do.

There are lots of people on here to talk to and loads of useful imformation, I started a blogg as I thought it would help me:))

All the best

Carole B

What a lovely lot you all are, thank you so much for taking time to send me replys.  Ive read other newbees first posts and basically we all say the same, just how scared and confused we all are.  Its comforting to then read from others that are going through treatment, and even better to read the ones from ladies that have made it through to the end.  Sending everyone on here loads of love and hugs xxxx

Hi Amanda - you asked at what stage we are at & by your last posting I hope I can give you a bit of a cheer-up.

I was diagnosed in sept 2011, had a biopsy in October & a mastectomy in November. The thought of the chemo filled me with horror. I started it in Dec & managed to keep my hair until 3rd Jan when I went to my best mates armed with the clippers & a big bottle of wine. Losing my hair has been more stressful than losing my boob but even that I've got used to now. I have just got a 2nd more "funky" wig which everyone loves.

I had my last chemo on March 28th & cant believe its finally finished. I lived in 3 week cycles so perhaps thats why it seemed to go quicker than I ever imagined. I did get side effects - but they dont last forever & I am still here to tell the tell & now fighting fit ( Well I will be ) to continue with me life. I have 25 sessions of radio starting on April 23rd so will be finished 31st May.

You will get through it as impossible as it seems at the beginning - it seems an impossible mountain to climb but with guts & determination - positive thinking & as much humour as you can muster you will get there a stronger person at the end of it.

I was trying to get my waitressing job back but I heard the restaurant is now looking for topless waitresses - my arguement is that they would only have to pay me half wages !! 

Take care - you need a rant anytime I will always be willing to listen & give any support / info I can. xxx

Hello Suzie, thank you for taking the time to write to me, im not quite sure how to use this site yet, so im hoping you get this message.  Im sure you have heard it many times, but this comes from my heart, youre such a brave lady, all the ladies on here are.  I know im just starting the road to what i hope is recovery and i can be the one writing to newbees on here and telling them all will be alright.  Like everyone i never thought i would ever get cancer so the shock was amazing, then i thought not,why me, i thought well why shouldnt it be me, im no different from anyone else.  Lost my mum to womb cancer 3 years ago, God she was a brave woman, never cried, always positive.  I dont take after her at the moment, im so scared about what my future holds.  My life is a busy one, i have 9 children and one husband and 5 dogs that all rely on me, telling them broke my heart, as a mum its your job to protect your kids not break their hearts.  All they can see is my mum dying and think that is gonna happen to me.  My plan is to be truthful with them throughout my treatment, but do plan not to let them see it troubling me, so my release will be on here.  Knowing there are people like you on here to turn to will help me so much. 

Hi Amanda. Sorry you are here on this site but please read your post again. You will see how you are going to get through this. Your post reads from someone who has accepted, in a way as we never really accept it all, and are working out in your mind how to play it, to the least effect on your family. That's the first stage for most of us women on these paths. And it's this attitude of love and caring for family that will get you through. I too was horrified at my diagnosis, so scared for my kids, as a single mum although they are 17 and 22. Thought how on earth do I get through it - well it's a ride you get on and you can't get off till it's done. And you will find strength, we all do. I'm now through mastectomy, lymph node clearance, chemo and radio and I'm not brave. Just has to be done. It went by so quickly in hindsight and there are times when you feel low but you get up and get on with it im now on a 2 week break before back to work, was diagnosed in sept 2011. Feels like yesterday. Yes looking back there are things I would have done differently but none was about treatment, just throw everything at me was my request. You sound like you have a strong family and that will help soo much. I wish I'd had that. Hide your bad days from your children if you need too but share them with someone, you need support as well as you supporting your family. You can do this. I did it. :-) xx take care and we are all with you xx

Hi Amanda - I just want to say I agree with all Janice just said on her post. I - like her - was diagnosed in Sept 2011 & am a single parent of 2 boys 14 a 18. Sometimes it felt that I wanted to curl up in a ball & say " leave me alone I cant do this - dont want to play this game anymore" but you just cant do that as that means the gremlins have won. Your husband & your kids will be your reason for being strong - it must be hard for you having 9 kids but thats 9 good reasons for you to stay positive. 10 with your husband.

I know exactly what you mean about how you feel about your Mum dying. I felt the same with my boys & my Mum but mostly my sister as they were very close to her & she was only 55 when she died 2 yrs ago ( I'm now 54 ) I dont know the ages of your children but be honest as you can with them - explain to them that breast cancer is a different thing to womb cancer. Thats what I tried to stress to my boys as my sis died of womb cancer. They may not want to start the conversation with you but its important you reassure them by not trying to ignore it. Its a hard conversation to have but nessesary to make then aware of whats going on. You will be suprised at how resiliant they are - I know mine suprised me thats for sure & Im proud of them for it.

Take care & keep posting to let me know how you are doing. xx

Hi ya Janice, so glad you are recovering well and im sure you are a very brave woman.  You are right tho, there is nothing i can do to get off this ride until its over i realise that.  Im off to the hospital on tuesday 10th April to find out a bit more.  All i know at the moment is that i have a lump which is 3cm and that ive got to have chemo first.  Hoping its to shrink the lump and not because they already know its spreading, my mind is playing bad tricks on me at the moment , i dont know that im accepting this, i think its more that i still dont believe it.  Im sure it will sink in very quickly once i start treatment.  Im hoping your kids were a support to you as you are on your own.  Im lucky that i wont have that problem, ive got a good husband and great kids.

You take care, and its lovely to think there are people like yourself ready to listen to me xxxxxxxxxxxxx

You just shout when you need us. That's what this is all about. I think you are right about not accepting it, I still now after treatment can't quite believe I have the c word. If I say it out loud to someone I find it so peculiar like it's not real. Once you know what you are facing and treatment starts then in a way it's easier, well not easier but you can organise your battle plan. I still remember how scared I was. All I thought about was my kids and how I couldn't not be there for them. I'm recently divorced and they don't have a great support network. My son through treatment didn't say much but when he did it was to the point. When feeling ill with chemo his response was ' well at least you know it's working !' and he was right. My daughter has been fab, my son lives with his flatmate but my daughter was stuk with me,she was there with the scarves false eyelashes and the typical needs of a 17 yr old that got me through lol ! You have to do this for them. Many many women have the chemo first to shrink it, I had 2 types lobular and ductal and no option but mastectomy, everyones different. It's not an easy road, but one that people get through over and over again. And this site will support you when you want to question, scream, rant, rejoice and anything else you feel. Speak soon xxx