Hi.

My 44 yr old sister was diagnosed with inoperable secondary brain tumours (the primary source is in the gall bladder) both caused by malignant melanoma metastasising from 10 yrs ago.

She had a seizure two and a half weeks ago, and CT and MRIs have shown that what was suspected as two brain tumours, are actually more and have spread through the brain.

It all seems all the more surreal as she seems so fit and healthy (no further seizure as steroids are controlling those) although perhaps a little more tired than usual.

The news didn't really sink in last week and we have a meeting with the consultant this Thursday afternoon to understand what impact i) radiotherapy ii) chemotheraphy iii) doing nothing may have and how the cancer may take hold.  Will there be a dterioration of certain brain function, will she have just one almighty seizure etc.

I know that they can't conclusively say - every case is difference - but I would really appreciate guidance on the kind of questions to ask and as my sister is currently thinking of not having any treatment, what others' experiences of having radiotheraphy or chemotheraphy have been.

Many thanks.

Hi there, Life is so tough for us all on here, isn't it?my elderly mother has secondary brain tumours, also innoperable...no treatment whatsoever. Your so right every tumour is different, it all depends on where in the brain the tumours are.. My mother has had episodes of falling over, unsteadiness slight slurring of words, handwriting has gone downhill and she gets words all muddled up..ie uniforms: meaning outfits, shampoo: meaning washing up liquid,cauliflower: meaning lettuce!! I'm a dab hand at charades now! I've been told that she will probably have a seizure or perhaps a stroke and end up in hospital, but for the time being I have carers going in three times a day, I do all the washing/ ironing/shopping/cooking etc..but living an hour away 86 mile round trip) its hard going on my marriage, in fact it's a bit of a sh..!! But we cope with the wonderful help of the mac nurses and my councillor who I can honestly say I would not have got this far without her support. I'm sending much love to you, look after yourself because you need to keep stron. I'm here whenever you need a shoulder. Mandy.xxxx

Hi Mandy,

Thanks so much for the post. It sounds as though you have so much to juggle and I take my hat off to you with the organisation of the carers and keeping everything going.  There are moments when life seems 'normal' but because my sister's cancer was only diagnosed three weeks ago, it then just hits you from nowhere.

We had the meeting with the consultant and he pulled no punches - it is Stage 4, it's spreading, there are no options for treatment, but it seems very un-real as she's still so well and waiting to see how it will manifest itself - and when that will happen - is almost the worst part.

I'm blessed with a family of my own, but am very aware of the tremendous pressure this places on my Mum & Dad (my sister still lives with them) and making sure that I remain positive for my own children (just 8 and 5), as well as my sister, but also supportive for my Mum & Dad is quite a juggling act.  Thanks for the reminder to look after myself but as I'm sure you know yourself it's often tricky to do it in practice.  Many thanks again for reaching out and please do keep in touch.  Judith x