Husband just diagnosed

Bowel (colon & rectum) cancer

A group for anyone affected by colon, rectal or small bowel cancer to get together, ask questions, share experiences and support each other.

Husband just diagnosed

No. of entries: 21 | Posted on 10 May 2013 09:42

Husband just diagnosed

  • Hi all I'm angie and I'm 29 my husband is 33. My husband had blood in his stool and had to go to the toilet more frequently for about 6 weeks before he told me of his problems. He has no pain no constipation and no dihorrea. The gp told him to change his diet and did a blood test which showed increases inflammatory markers. They told him that they were sure he had ulcerative colitis. And referred him for a sigmoidoscopy. The signoidoscopy showed a tumour and not ulcerative colitis. We were devastated and shocked. The biopsy went to the lab and we were told 2 days ago its a malignant rectal tumour. He had a colonoscopy yesterday. The rest of the bowel is clear. However the tumour is very large 9cm in length. Waiting now for MRI and CT scans. The twist in this is that I'm a senior scientist In the lab where the biopsies and tissue specimens are processed luckily I was off work when it went in but I had to go back Tuesday and everybody knew before me. I couldn't look anyone in the face. My husband and I are completely devastated. It's surreal. We are so lost. And so terrified of what the scans will show. We have no family where we live. My husband is terrified he won't see our little girl (17months ) grow up. Heart broken
  • Hello Angie, I am so sorry that you've had to join this forum. I joined in February when I also got the same shocking news of a rectal tumour. There are very friendly people here who will give you a lot of support at this very scary time. Let me say that when your staging is done it is likely your husband will be offered combinations of radiotherapy, chemotherapy and surgery. The exact location of the tumour found is important to know also. The next few days will be horrible but you must do research to understand this and work up some positivity. I have been having chemo radiation treatment since mid March and currently my bleeding has stopped and my bowel habit is becoming normal. I have to wait for scans to see whether I need surgery or be a lucky few who might be able to delay surgery and keep scanning frequently. There is another guy on here called Lee whose 5-8 cm tumour was dissolved by chemoradiation. So the treatments available will most likely work. I wish your husband the best for the next few months.
  • Hi, I'm sorry you find yourself on this site, but it's the best place to get advice. The people on here, certainly helped me! The way you described your husbands symptoms etc and diagnosis is very similar to mine. My tumour was also discovered through a sigmoidoscopy. Quite large and low down. Like you both, I was devastated, and just couldn't grasp what was happening. I then had a Ct and MRI scan and luckily there was no spread. I had .the operation to remove the tumour, followed by 6 months chemo(oral) that was in sept 2011 and my scans have been clear since! The best advice I can offer, is try not to think too far ahead as to what might happen and take each day as it comes. There are many success stories nowadays, and you'll find many lovely people on here ready to help and advise if you need it. It must be very hard for you not having family near by, but stay positive, you'll both get through this! I found the waiting for scan results was the worst and still do, it's referred to on here as Scanxiety!! But once I had my treatment plan, I felt much more positive. Please let us know how things go. Very Best Wishes Angela
  • Hi Angie, 

     

    I am very sorry to hear that you have had to join this forum. However, as others have said, you have found the right place for support, for practical and useful advice, and for just having a rant.

     

    I can assure you that you are at the most difficult time now, and that things will get much better from now on. The initial stage, of shock and worry is the worse stage as you worry for yourself and your family, you have uncertainty about the treatment ahead. You will find it very difficult to believe, but I can assure you that you and your husband will feel a bit better when you know what your treatment is and you will feel even better when you actually start the treatment, as you are then fighting back and doing something positive to help the battle. 

     

    I was diagnosed with a bowel tumour last year at the age of 44, with two young boys. I was devastated and in shock. A friend of mine who has gone through breast cancer advised me that I would feel better after treatment started and that the first few weeks are the worst, until you start the treatment. She was right, for me. Since then I have successfully completed chemotherapy and radiotherapy and my tumour has shrunk to just scar tissue. 

     

    The treatment of bowel cancer is now very advanced and successful and improving all the time.  Do not try to do research on the internet on bowel cancer as the data is inevitably out of date. One of the others on this site, Lee, has found a video on the MacMillan site from a specialist doctor on bowel cancer which is very reassuring about the treatment of bowel cancer. 

     

    When you find out what your treatment is, come back onto this site as you will receive lots of practical advice and reassurance on the treatment and how to minimise any side effects. Do not be too daunted by chemotherapy or radiotherapy side effects - they are not pleasant but they are manageable and a small price to pay for successful treatment. 

     

    It will seem impossible at the moment, but try to stay positive and not to worry too much. I am a big fan of complementary treatments, but always in addition to chemotherapy/radiotherapy and surgery - never as a replacement to these established, tried and tested treatments. When I was diagnosed there was an article on the bbc website about a trial in the Netherlands of 4,000 patients and the benefits of aspirin for those suffering from bowel cancer (search on google for bowel cancer + aspirin). As a result, I take an aspirin each day. I also take lots of multi-vitamins, turmeric, wheatgrass, and selenium. Always check with your consultant before taking any of these pills, and if you have chemotherapy you may be advised to avoid vitamin B and Folic acid as they can interfere with chemotherapy. I take the view that these give the patient a small degree of control and fighting back, and that is very important when you feel powerless. They may just have a placebo effect, but it is an important psychological benefit for a patient - or it certainly was for me at least. 

     

    Very best wishes and try not to be too scared - you are not alone in this fight. 

     

    Matt

  • Oh Angie, 

    have to send you a big huge hug.

    Waiting for tests and results is tough. The scans are simple enough. Then the docs can get husband into treatment. Will probably be small comfort but treatment can be worse than disease. But. . . it is curable. 

    My husband was diagnosed Jan this year, A work mate, my mortgage advisors father in law, a family friend and apparently my next door neighbours wife have all beaten the odds. The family friend and neighbours wife I wouldn't have guessed if not told.

    The news is a bolt from the blue of all the bad stuff you wouldn't wish on an enemy but it will find a way of filing into the little recesses of your mind so that you will cope. 

    Hang tight and be Mummy. Daddy is still holding your hand. 

    More hugs

  • Hello Angela, 

    I am so glad you have joined this group as I'm sure you will find it a great support to yourself and your husband. 

    Please know that the way you feel right now WILL improve and the enormity of the initial shock will get better. I really understand how you feel as  we all do - and at this time it is very good to get some support as you are. 

    Please do not search the web with out of date information that scares us ! Macmillan and Beating Bowel Cancer are both superb with all the required and accurate information. 

    It does get so much easier - please believe me. I understand the disbelief and the feeling of devastation - BUT it really does  get easier as you go along and a plan is made and support is given. 

    I worried for 2 weeks and then realised that the worry wasn't helping me at all - so began to carry on as normally as I could - which I have and it has helped. I haven't labelled myself in my head as 'with cancer' but think of it as an illness that I am recovering from - because that is what it is. But initially the thought of having the Cancer was overpowering. I don't feel that anymore. Of course I have up and down days - which is the way it will be. Thankfully more up days with a few down moments ! 

    I was diagnosed with Rectal Cancer just before Christmas 2012 ( great timing !) I have had the radio / chemotherapy which you will hear and learn about - it was all manageable and the thought of it for me was worse than having it. Darshin has mentioned to you that I had 5-8 cm tumour which has now disappeared. My friend Matt - has had the same results and I know he will reply to you with his positive story and lots of helpful information  and be a great support to you both. 

    I currently feel and look well - go to gym and loads of walking etc ... I am 9 weeks post the chemo and radiotherapy which lasted for 6 weeks. The treatments are all manageable and we can explain more later.I currently feel a bit down about having the surgery and the thought of having to sit still and rest for about  weeks after ! So this is the bit I am currently trying to come to terms with at this stage. 

    When I first wrote on here I kept reading the replies to try and absorb what was being said to me as it is all so overwhelming at the very beginning. 

    You must both try to not think the worse outcomes which I know you are at present and as I did and probably everyone else on here. 

    You will find that the NHS service for cancer is the best - in my opinion. You will discover too that the treatments for this are so good now. 

    So with an 8cm rectal tumour with ? some lymph nodes affected - They said it was sizeable ... but they said that the aim was to CURE. They explained that the treatment plan is long but the outcome aim for it  to have gone. Mine cannot be seen now by scan or eye but I  am having surgery in a couple of weeks to remove that area to make sure. 

    I really feel that when you both know a little bit more it will become easier and you both feel more positive that you will be beating this.....  Getting rid of this tumour and at his young age too and carrying on with life as before. A year of doing this will be worth it in the end. 

    Hoping that you both feel a little better very soon :) 

    Very Best Wishes to you both , 

    Lee  

  • Thank you all for your replies. I guess a lot of it is the fear of the unknown. I'm a big planner and this was not in the list for 2013!! We were told to cancel our holiday ( was only to Devon but we love it there) and now they are talking about freezing sperm when we had just started trying for baby number two. The scans just can't come quick enough. I guess I just can't understand why or how it's the shock. Reading your posts has helped. So thank you all
  • hi matt im going to look up about the asprin sound's  good but in which forms do you take the tumeric and wheat grass only there are so many vitamin websites its difficult to know which are genuine. 

    ruth x

  • Hi again Angela, 

    I am the same as you with lists and being very organised ! I find it frustrating to be forced to change my plans but I have to think that it is just for now and this year will be different and then I will carry on again.

     

    Although at the moment my life hasn't changed much at all.  Also had to cancel to sunny holidays which was sad and eventually I managed to get the deposit monies back ! I had been organised and booked really early last October and had saved the money too ! Because I had booked so early I hadn't at that booked got the insurance ! But after  a GP letter sent I got the money back :)

     

    I was also asked about if wanting children / sperm freezing etc ... but I did not !  My long term ex partner has one son who we raised and my partner - also a Lee has 4 ! ( all adult now ) But for you it sounds like the right thing to do. Your husband needs to get busy :) 

    It is all these things that are unexpected. I feel you find that as it all starts these things make us must stronger than before and we are surprised at how well we cope.

    However, you are a planner and you will do this and you will support each other. We are young ! Well I am much older really at 42 !  We have age on our side which is a massive plus and I assume your husband is other wise fot and well. 

    I hope you can take something from what we can share with you.

    I found that some people when told the diagnosois ( friends and family ) became very upset and almost need reassuring themselves ! I had to say to them that is what i have been told and that it is curable etc .. So you may find yourself reassuring others too ! There is no doubt that it is a shock for all - BUT ... that all eases and then it just fits into daily routine and people are pleased to see us getting on with it all.

    I found it easier to tell everyone and not shy away from it. Some days I may have told 3 or 4 people and then I found I had had enough and couldn't discuss it again until the next day ! So be warned that kit can be good to talk and also draining on the other hand, 

    You may be able to go to Devon a bit later on in the year - in between treatments etc ... but it is something that has to be planned later when we know more. We have had a couple of weekends away etc ... sometimes that is just as good as you go away more often. We love Devon too - but only in the sun :) 

    Both have a good weekend and try and keep positive - as that it the way to be and that is the way it will be :) 

    Big hug to you both, Lee 

     

     

     

     

     

  • Hi Angie,

    I can remember the shock of my husbands diagnosis so well. He was the fittest person in the family so it was hard to take in. 

    Like others have said, it is really tough waiting for tests and results and a plan of treatment but once you have that, when you know what's what and what's going to be done about it you settle into a new kind of "normal".  

    My husbands primary was very large but after it responded to chemo it was possible to operate and remove it.  Treatment is improving all the time so try and stay positive.

    This is a wonderful and supportive group so I am really glad you found it ,

    Hiloa x

  • Hi Angie I'm 35 and with two boys aged 5 and 20mths. I was diagnosed about 6 weeks ago and start treatment 30/5. The early days are daunting but I prepared myself for the worst news. I found reading and talking to firends really important. It's hard but I try to carry on as normal and see my future appointments as just another meeting in the diary. Once your husband gets his results you can pls and this makes it easier Sending positive thoughts
  • Hi Ruth, 

     

    I take the turmeric in tablet form. i use Doctor's Best - Best Curcumin C3 complex - 500 mgs. I take one twice a day.  I also take the wheatgrass in tablet form. I use Rainforest Foods 500 mg tablets. I take 6 of these all at once.  I buy all these from Amazon. I do know that others on here buy the wheatgrass in a purer form from organic food shops. For me it is the convenience of taking it as pills. 

     

    I also take a wide variety of vitamins - Selenium, Vitamins C,D, and E, plus Flaxseed oil tablets, plus Immunity Defence pills from Seven Seas.

     

    Best wishes.

     

    Matt XX 

     

     

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  • Hi Ruth,

    I'm sorry I have not read the whole thread but just saw your questions about tumeric and wheatgrass and thought I'd share my knowledge on this.

    Although you can buy tumeric tablets, you can just buy tumeric powder from all asian supermarkets and I'm sure Tesco, Sainsbury's, etc also sell it. You can just take a teaspoon in half a glass of warm water or mix the powder with a little honey and just swallow it. It's not great tasting so try not to take too much at a time but it is bearable.

    As for the wheatgrass, we have a juicing shop in our local High Street in Eastcote, Pinner, Middlesex (just in case you are not too far) so I just drive down each day and drink a shot. I pay him a month in advance and he gives me a discounted price. If you are not so fortunate to have a juicing shop/bar nearby you can purchase it frozen.  It's not as good for you as fresh but I'm sure it's better than not taking at all. I've heard but could not confirm that it is better frozen than in tablet form.

    I bumped into someone who was using a company that deliver it frozen to your door. It's a family run business and she was happy with them and she did say that although she did not have cancer, she felt a difference since she started taking it. The lady who runs it along side her husband is called Renata and her number is 07846 356529. I've not used them as I thought I'd stick to having it fresh seen as it is so local so cannot not tell you what they are like but teh lady I spoke to said they were great to deal with.

    Hope this helps.

    Hins x

  • Hi Tull77 It's hard to know what to write on here it's so strange being in this new reality. You are also very young with colorectal cancer. How advanced was your tumour if you don't mind me asking? I'm sending you and everyone in here a thankyou for the replies and my best wishes for speedy recoveries x
  • Hi Angie,

    I can only reiterate what the others have said but just wanted to send you a big hug!

    In July it will be 2 years since I was diagnosed and I can't believe I am still here and able to actually live again. I'm not the same as what I used to be but I am finding a new normal.

    With love,

    Hins x