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This group is aimed only at people who have had an incurable diagnosis themselves, as we have had feedback that they would like a safe space to share their feelings openly among themselves.
If you have a loved one with incurable cancer, you are very welcome on the Online Community as a whole, but we would ask that you respect the wishes of people with incurable cancer and not post in this particular group. Instead, you will find really good support in the Carers group and the relevant cancer type group.
I am so sorry to hear your story, and your cancer has'nt shrunk, maybe it will after the next 3 cycles. My heart goes out to you and others in the same position.
My lung mets did'nt shrink after 12 chemo sessions , so am on a chemo break, I am really hoping the next lot of chemo does shrink them.
Please keep in touch and me and others will be here to support you.
Hi and so sorry to hear about your situation. I had treatment for anal cancer early last year, & though the initial treatment got rid of the primary tumour, a routine scan in Oct showed I had mets in my liver. It was a big shock to everyone, including the consultant. I am having chemo and had a scan after 3 cycles like you - it showed one tumour was stable & the other two had shrunk. Are they continuing with the chemo? I was worried when I had my scan that they would stop if there was no change for the better (don't know if they would have or not!) If they do carry on then maybe further cycles will produce some improvement, as Pam says?
I'm 51 & have no children - sometimes I am glad I have no kids as it must be so terribly hard to cope with a terminal diagnosis if you do. Although it is devastating with or without! I don't have much family at all and rely mainly on friends for support. However, what I can say is that nearly 6 months after being given a "typical" prognosis of 6-8 months, I am still well apart from chemo side effects, which have not really been so bad.
It is hard to know what to say except try to live in the moment and enjoy as many good ones as you can. There are other members of the group who have young children like you and I am sure they will post too.
As for "Why?", I have to say I tend not to ask that question, as I feel I would end up wasting a lot of precious energy on anger and depression if I took that route. Disease is not a punishment, and doesn't target people on the basis of fairness. Much better people than me have died of cancer & other awful diseases. I wish more than anything that I wasn't in this position, but I try and stay positive and enjoy everyday pleasures while I can.
Sending you hugs & good vibes
Just been reading your other posts and wanted to add a couple of things - when my mets were diagnosed, my oncologist (not the world's most optimistic!) did a referral to a liver surgeon but said there was little chance of surgery. However, I saw the surgeon in early Feb & he is up for doing surgery if I keep responding to chemo. The type of cancer I have is rare & so there is little experience of doing liver re-sections in these cases (they are mostly performed on people who have bowel cancer liver mets) but he is willing to do it. This has given me hope I did not have when the mets were found. I'm not saying it's a miracle, but it is a level of hope I did not expect to be given, so don't give up.
Secondly - I read that you have already done memory boxes for your children. I think this is a wonderful idea and will be very precious to your children. I wanted to say that an ex-boyfriend of mine lost his Dad when he was 10 years old. Now, as an adult, he sometimes regrets that he did not have chance to know his Dad in an "adult" way and find out more about his Dad's earlier life (which was quite eventful!) I think it is often only as adults ourselves that we take more interest in our parents as "people" not just parents, what they did before they had us etc. So if you have not already covered this it might be worth thinking about?
Sorry if I'm waffling on - I do sometimes! - but hope it helps in some small way.
I had two lots of chemo that didn't work but my third lot did shrink the tumours, there are other chemos that they can use but if they have stopped them growing that is good! My first two chemos didn't stop them and they carried on growing, I was lucky that the third did shrink them but I would have been happy if they had just stopped them growing, stay positive don't let yourself sink into that dark place, where there is life there is hope, i know i sound like a crank but this is how I am getting through it, I refuse to let it beat me.
Lots of love and hugs to give you strength xxx
I am glad your 3rd lot of chemo shrunk your tumours, it does give me hope that my next lot will work better than the last lot. How long was it between each lot of chemo. My onc has given me 6 months but think I will go back after 3 months, as I have had a cough for a month.
Keep on being positive, and no don't let it beat you .
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