Living with incurable cancer - patients only

This group is specifically for anyone with an incurable or terminal diagnosis. Whether you need to talk about dying, or about making the most of your life, you can discuss your feelings openly here, without fear of upsetting those in other groups.

Terminal cancer had mid cycle ct scan

No. of entries: 13 | Posted on 31 Mar 2013 8:04 PM

Terminal cancer had mid cycle ct scan

  • I'm 37 yrs old and have terminal stomach cancer. I've been on chemo for 3 cycles and just had a mid cycle ct scan. The tumour and mets have not grown or spread further but equally and most importantly the chemo hasn't shrunk them, I'm very sad as this now means there is no further hope of a cure...... I have 2 young, beautiful children, it is so unfair on them, I ask myself everyday - why........ I'm truly devastated that I'm going to die and leave them behind, there is so much I still wanted to do with my life and now I'm too ill. My heart goes out to all of you in the same boat as I find myself in. Coolmum31 I've read your profile, it's so similar to mine, thinking of you and yours xx
  • Hi Jolo,

    I am so sorry to hear your story, and your cancer has'nt shrunk, maybe it will after the next 3 cycles. My heart goes out to you and others in the same position.

    My lung mets did'nt shrink after 12 chemo sessions , so am on a chemo break, I am really hoping the next lot of chemo does shrink them.

    Please keep in touch and me and others will be here to support you.

    Pam xxx

  • Hi and so sorry to hear about your situation.  I had treatment for anal cancer early last year, & though the initial treatment got rid of the primary tumour, a routine scan in Oct showed I had mets in my liver. It was a big shock to everyone, including the consultant.  I am having chemo and had a scan after 3 cycles like you - it showed one tumour was stable & the other two had shrunk.  Are they continuing with the chemo?  I was worried when I had my scan that they would stop if there was no change for the better (don't know if they would have or not!)  If they do carry on then maybe further cycles will produce some improvement, as Pam says?

    I'm 51 & have no children - sometimes I am glad I have no kids as it must be so terribly hard to cope with a terminal diagnosis if you do. Although it is devastating with or without!  I don't have much family at all and rely mainly on friends for support.  However, what I can say is that nearly 6 months after being given a "typical" prognosis of 6-8 months, I am still well apart from chemo side effects, which have not really been so bad. 

    It is hard to know what to say except try to live in the moment and enjoy as many good ones as you can. There are other members of the group who have young children like you and I am sure they will post too. 

    As for "Why?", I have to say I tend not to ask that question, as I feel I would end up wasting a lot of precious energy on anger and depression if I took that route. Disease is not a punishment, and doesn't target people on the basis of fairness. Much better people than me have died of cancer & other awful diseases. I wish more than anything that I wasn't in this position, but I try and stay positive and enjoy everyday pleasures while I can. 

    Sending you hugs & good vibes

    G xx

  • Just been reading your other posts and wanted to add a couple of things - when my mets were diagnosed, my oncologist (not the world's most optimistic!) did a referral to a liver surgeon but said there was little chance of surgery.  However, I saw the surgeon in early Feb & he is up for doing surgery if I keep responding to chemo.  The type of cancer I have is rare & so there is little experience of doing liver re-sections in these cases (they are mostly performed on people who have bowel cancer liver mets) but he is willing to do it. This has given me hope I did not have when the mets were found.  I'm not saying it's a miracle, but it is a level of hope I did not expect to be given, so don't give up.

    Secondly - I read that you have already done memory boxes for your children. I think this is a wonderful idea and will be very precious to your children.  I wanted to say that an ex-boyfriend of mine lost his Dad when he was 10 years old. Now, as an adult, he sometimes regrets that he did not have chance to know his Dad in an "adult" way and find out more about his Dad's earlier life (which was quite eventful!)   I think it is often only as adults ourselves that we take more interest in our parents as "people" not just parents, what they did before they had us etc. So if you have not already covered this it might be worth thinking about?

    Sorry if I'm waffling on - I do sometimes! - but hope it helps in some small way.

    G x

  • Thank you all for your replies. I don't know what will happen once I've finished my 6 cycles of chemo, the docs haven't said what their plan is and I've been a bit scared to ask. I'm worried that the chemo won't keep the tumour at bay as they're reducing my dose as its making me sooo ill, it's really taken a heavy toll on me and I spend at least 2 weeks getting over it before the next cycle in week 3. My mets are in the lining of my stomach, my omentum, so unless they disappear there is really no chance of surgery. The docs gave me a few months in January. I'm scared of what will happen as things progress, thinking about the dying process is awful and I don think of it often but sometimes it overwhelms me and I panic for what my children will witness, they're so young and it's so sad that they will have these memories of me. I try to be as positive as I can around them but physically I'm ill a lot of the time with uncontrolled nausea, sadly a severe symptom of the tumour which no anti emetic can tackle. I'm making the most of being here now and I'm fighting for the sake of my children and family, if it was just me I'm not sure I'd fight so hard, I want to last as long as I can for them as I'm sure everyone does that finds themselves dying. It's odd isn't it, you're getting on with life then suddenly you're smacked in the face with cancer, it's not on anyone's radar is it. It was such an unbelievable shock when it happened as I'm sure it s for everyone, you suddenly enter this world of doctors, chemo, radio, illness, restriction, nurses, drugs, picc lines, blood tests, scans, results, it's all consuming and I personally am very resentful. I want my life back and I'm going through the 'envious of everyone that's well' phase. Oh well, life has dealt this blow and there is no option but to get on with it. Good luck to everyone Jude xx
  • Hi I can empathize with you about the shock of being told you have cancer. I was diagnosed in February with lung cancer that has spread to liver and lymph nodes, prognosis of 3 to 12 months. I couldn't believe it and I am trying to be strong but sometimes it is overwhelming. My thoughts are with you and I really hope that you can make the most of the here and now, you have the love of your family and children and the support from here when you need it. Stay strong Pat x
  • I had two lots of chemo that didn't work but my third lot did shrink the tumours, there are other chemos that they can use but if they have stopped them growing that is good! My first two chemos didn't stop them and they carried on growing, I was lucky that the third did shrink them but I would have been happy if they had just stopped them growing, stay positive don't let yourself sink into that dark place, where there is life there is hope, i know i sound like a crank but this is how I am getting through it, I refuse to let it beat me. 

    Lots of love and hugs to give you strength xxx

    Jayne xx

  • Hi Jayne,

    I am glad your 3rd lot of chemo shrunk your tumours, it does give  me hope that my next lot will work better than the last lot. How long was it between each lot of chemo. My onc has given me 6 months but think I will go back after 3 months, as I have had a cough for a month.

    Keep on being positive, and no don't let it beat you .

    Pam xxx

  • Pam I'm sorry you still have that cough. Maybe you should try & go back to them soon.  They may not want to do anything, but in the meantime you are worrying & maybe it would just be better to try & get to the bottom of it sooner rather than later.

    Love G x

  • Thanks Mini, yes I will go back , we are off to Majorca next week so am hoping some sun will help my cough .

    How have you been.

    Love Pam x

  • After becoming very ill during this chemo, I tried a fourth cycle but it all got too much so now the chemo has stopped! I've been told my chemo break will be at least till July unless I deteriorate before. It's scary being off chemo as I'm worried its all spreading and they won't offer me further treatment if it does???? I got so so sick and weak on this chemo, can't believe how severely it affected me?? Anyone else had to stop chemo? Wish me luck that it stays stable. Love to you all suffering out there Jude xxx
  • So sorry to hear that Jolo mummy. I really feel for you. I hope do hope this treatment allows things to remain stable for you for a long time. I haven't had a break yet but I'll be having scans soon to find out if my new treatment is doing anything. As mine progress after only 3 months of chemo I'm scared this new one isn't going to work either.Love and hugs Ruth xxx

  • Really feel for you Jolo mummy, sincerely hope you remain stable for your chemo break, have not been in that situation, but know what it feels like to worry that things are getting worse. Lots of hugs. X