Hi all, I go to see my doctor this afternoon to get my results from the ct scan I had a week ago. Hopefully the cancer not spread too far and there is more treatment options for me. Fingers crossed, I will let you all know after tonight xxxxxx keep strong and keep fighting peeps xxxxx

Good luck today Heidi, yes let us know how you get on.

Pam x

hi heidi,

really hope all went well with your scan results today (((( hugs )))

Fingers crossed for you Heidi xxxxx xxxxx surprised I can type!

Hi Heidi,

How did your results go.

Pam x

Hi all, sorry for delay in replying, been a hectic week. I had hospital and my eldest daughter who is type one diabetic been ill and I had builders in all week doing adaptations to my house for my youngest daughter cos she severely disabled, so it's been a long week. I went and saw my oncologist Monday just gone and he said my tumour markers in my blood are back really high again which indicates the cancer is upto something. I had a scan two weeks ago and the scan shows the cancer has not really changed since my last scan in November, so he said, he won't put me back into treatment just yet as the tumour markers rising high, is not enough evidence on there own to warrant treatment, so he said he will see me monthly and rescan me in may, and depending on what the scan says, depends on whether I go back into treatment. but since Monday, I have had a lump appear in the base of my neck on the left side, so went and saw gp on Friday ( yesterday) , the lump is an enlarged lymphnode. So the gp has sent a fax over to my oncologist telling him about this lump. I also spoke to my macmillan nurse yesterday and she said to try not worry about it, as it is probably the cancer that has made it enlarge, but sometimes they can just go up and down for no reason. So she is going to speak to my doc and see what he wants to do, but she said she thinks he will probably biopsy it. So right now feeling a little low, feel like I could cry, but I can't. I just keep thinking to myself, how long have I got until they say they can't help me Anymore, ya know. I know I shouldn't be thinking these things, but you can't help but have these thoughts cross your mind. I have also been feeling rough physically, my whole body just aches all the time, I don't know if this is the cancer or a result of the treatment I have just finished. Thank you all for asking how I am, it means a lot, cos a lot of the time my family just avoid talking about it and how it is affecting me. I think it's because they are in abit of denial. Xxxxxxx

Hi Heidi

You are bound to feel a bit low in the circumstances - blimey, if I were you I'd be feeling pretty stressed just through having the builders in & your daughter poorly, never mind all the cancer sh*t to deal with. I hope the lymph node settles down. It sounds good to me that your oncologist feels more treatment is not warranted at this point, but is going to keep a close eye on you.

Not sure which chemo regime you've been on, but some can cause flu-like bodily aches & pains. See if you can get some pain relief if you can. Get as much rest as you can, though I appreciate this could be difficult with four children! 

It is only natural to worry about the day they say there's no more they can do. I am fortunate because I now have the hope of surgery, which I was originally told was unlikely. So most of the time (except when chemo is making me feel a bit crap) I am very positive now. But I still know that if the chemo stops working & the tumours start to grow or new ones appear, that could all change, and it's hard sometimes to put that to the back of my mind. I try to just take things one day at a time & be grateful for the new hope I've been given.

Sending lots of love & positive vibes your way,

G x

Hi MiniG, hope you don't mind me asking and I won't mind if you don't  want to go into detail but what surgery are you going to have and did you clinical oncologist suggest the surgery?  Reason is I am having a bit of a battle with my clinical oncologist at the moment re surgery on a growth in my pelvis, she says it would be too invasive, too massive etc.  I wouldn't like to think she is writing me off and what she really means is too expensive :(