We are Macmillan. Cancer Support
As above really, my dad found out two weeks ago he has cancer, was told monday it wasn't operable and today was told today without chemo he has weeks left. He starts chemo next Friday. I'm just upset and angry and I'm wondering why he has to wait another week if he is in such an advanced state? The doctor on Monday told him that the reason he had had to wait to see him was because he had been on holiday but he said that his type of cancer is slow to grow, yet today he was told this shocking news by the oncologist?
Hiya. I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad, Cancer is such an evil/destructive/selfish illness and it's never nice when loved ones are diagnosed with it. My Dad was diagnosed in 2008 with Bowel Cancer, which we found out not long after that, that it had spread to his Liver/Lungs. We were told that if my Dad didn't have Chemo then he had 18months at the best, but if he did have chemo that it would prolong his life, which it did do, as we're now in 2010 and my dad is still with us, though only just, as the cancer has now spread to his Bones and on top of that we've also been told that he has a large Brain Tumour. My dad didn't have to wait for chemo to begin, luckily he began chemo pretty much straight away, but I can totally understand why you would feel upset and angry at the prospect of your dear dad having to wait another week before starting chemo. I think I would feel exactly the same, especially in a lot of cases of people with cancer, it seems to be a very aggressive form that they have and as you say if your dad's cancer is already well advanced, I would have thought treatment would start straight away, like it did with my dad. With regards to your dad having to wait because the doctor he's under was on holiday, that seems absolutely stupid, his Consultant must have Registrars or there must be other consultants who could have got your dad's treatment underway, without the need for him to wait a week, especially as I say, in terms of cancer, things can happen so fast. My family and I were really annoyed with the GP that my dad saw before he was given the diagnosis of bowel cancer, because my dad had gone to the gp a year before the diagnosis, complaining of bleeding from his back passage and the gp that he saw put it down to piles and sent him away. Well apparently screening for bowel cancer is very simple and an easy test to do, so we were under the impression that even though the gp thought that it was just due to piles, because of my dad's age (he was over 65) and because of his gender (which are all risk factors for bowel cancer) the gp should have done a screening for bowel cancer as well, even though he just thought it was down to piles, if this had taken place, maybe my dad's cancer would not have had the chance to become so advanced. Anyway I can totally empathise/sympathise with your dad's and your families situation, so if you'd like to chat with someone who understands, please don't hesitate to get in touch. Take care of yourself, keep your chin up and your head held high and I wish both your dad and your family the best luck in the world. Kate x
Hi Ks, do not worry I know it seems like an endless wait to start treatment, as soon as he starts chemo he will likely have a good response and it will get to work on all the little nasties..im presuming he has mets which is why they wouldnt operate? if he were to wait weeks and weeks then this may make a difference..but another week will be ok the chemo will get to work straight away.
Thank you Kate. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad and that GP should be facing action, what a joke! :-( Cancer is truly horrendous, we lost my Grandad to it 2 years ago too (my Mum's Dad) and it just seems cruel that she has to go through it twice. I went to see my Dad yesterday and we talked a lot about what is going to happen and his treatment. He is trying to stay positive but it is very hard, I think as only a couple of months ago we knew nothing aout it and he had no symptoms - it's just bizarre. I mean even now apart from some pain he looks normal as if there is nothing wrong with him. I guess the chemo will have an effect on that tho....
Hi Sarah, he does indeed have Mets, the oncologist told him and showed him on the ct scan that over 70% of his liver is affected. I guess Friday will come round quicker than we know as he is using this time to get some stuff sorted in case the chemo makes him feel really rough
Well we like all of the GP's in our Surgery, literally they are all really lovely, so we wouldn't want to try and sue or anything, but my Mum is definitely considering writing a letter or speaking to the GP in question, as we feel at least if he is made aware of it, hopefully it will stop someone else going through a similar situation. Yes Cancer is a truly awful and devastating illness, sadly cancer has reared it's ugly head quite a bit in my Family, plus my lovely Boyfriend who is a few months younger than me, went through Cancer when he was 15 (he had a Brain Tumour) which also caused him to have a Stroke down his left side, but he's done amazingly since then and next year, as long as he's still doing well, he should be getting discharged :)! So yeah Cancer definitely seems to have been a big part of my life in one way or another. Yes indeed Cancer is very strange, I mean just going back to my Dad, we were told by the Consultant (just before we were told my Dad probably only has weeks left to live) that along with all the other parts of his body that are Cancer ridden, he also has a large Brain Tumour, which is apparently separate to the Bowel Cancer (as the Brain is not a place where they would associate Bowel Cancer spreading to) and he even mentioned that he thought the Brain Tumour had been there for many years, so way before he got his diagnosis of Bowel Cancer, but had only recently started showing any symptoms (which is when my Dad began getting extremely confused/forgetting things). Now how the hell does that work, how can you have something slowly growing in your Brain, yet carry on leading a normal life until very recently? As you say BIZARRE! Keep me updated on your Dad's progress and how he gets on with the Chemo. I hope that everything runs as smoothly as it can for both him and your Family. I also hope that he doesn't suffer any or too many adverse affects with regards to the Chemo. Try to remember that every individual is different, when it comes to medical treatments of any kind and have a different pain threshold etc, so your Dad may be very lucky and remain pretty well throughout his course of Chemo. My Dad was the same, if you didn't know he had Cancer, then looking at him, he looked perfectly healthy and as if he had nothing wrong with him at all, so I know what that's like. Take care and make sure you look after yourself, as well as your Dad of course. Kate x
I am so so sorry to hear about your Dad :( I really feel your pain because i am going through something similar with my Dad and you get so angry and frustrated when treatment takes a while to happen. My Dad has stage 4 advanced bladder cancer which is now secondary in his lungs. It's absolutely heartbreaking. He also had a terrible GP who neglected him so much a consultant urologist even told us that Dad would not be in this state if he was dealt with properly in the first place :( We are taking legal action for sure because even though it won't save my Dad i'm damn sure i won't sit and allow this person to practice making the same mistakes and costing other people their lives. As well as sending you a thousand hugs i will also say to you KsDaughter to keep asking questions and to keep asking why. You have every right to do that. Much love x
If you have any questions about our organisation our Macmillan team would love to hear from you
You can also follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Flickr or YouTube.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2010
what are these?