Hi Carolyn

Nice to see your name again, I was wondering how you were getting on.

My husband did most of the work around here, so I know what you mean. I have always done the decorating though, so used to that. I have done one of the bedrooms and moved into it as its smaller and more cosy in there than the one we shared.

I am 13 weeks down the road now, and I remember your husband passed away around the time my husband came out of Hospital for the last time.

Going through the where is everybody phase too. Last week I felt lousy, decided if I stayed here I would stay under the duvet feeling sorry for myself. So I made a decision to go away, rain and all to a caravan site. I loaded up my camper van with books, cross stitch and crosswords. I took the dogs for walks, between showers, had good food, and the odd drink, and watched other people. I felt I wasnt sitting in 4 walls feeling lonely. It worked and I came home feeling a lot more refreshed.

Its the change of scenery that counts. I didnt go that far away, but it certainly did me good.

Oh well, better get back to building my own ark!

Carlisle had enough water not so long ago, it took ages for everybody to get their houses repaired, I hope yours wasnt one of them! You all had your share then, it wont hurt to miss out on this lot!

Keep chin up, and plod on, thats all we can do!

Love and hugs

Respect

xxxx

 

 

Good grief what a weekend, rain wind, wind and rain! I ventured out yesterday and got very cold though managed to stay dry. Looked out this morning and decided to hibernate for the day, it's still blowing a gale out there! Carolyn & Respect I'm coming up for the 3 month stage next week and finding what I thought to be my closest friends are very busy and very rarely in contact. Maybe they were always busy and because I had Pat I didn't notice? Sad though. When I do see or hear from them they keep telling me to come over and see them, phone them and arrange to go out...I can barely get myself to work every morning and going out or organising anything just seems too much at the moment. Brain is frazzled. The one friend who does understand lost her son 6 years ago, she phones up and says let's go to the cinema, it's as simple as that really. I'm feeling bad about getting used to Pat not being here at the moment. Part of me hates the thought of getting used to being alone again, it feels like a betrayal. I don't have good days yet, just days when I'm ok. Today has been an ok day. Respect glad you enjoyed your break, a change of scene is good, I'm thinking about getting away for a weekend in the next few weeks, if I can manage to organise something! Must go to bed now, late as usual. Night all take care xxx

Jules - It's been similar (horrible) weather here in Bristol all weekend! So much rain yesterday, I got absolutely soaked when walking my dog, if I'd known. I'd have worn a wetsuit, lol, she seemed to enjoy it though!! Rain has stopped today and the suns come out but it's still very windy! It's May tomorrow, FGS, we demand sun and warmth!

It's only been 5 weeks since my darling Arek left us but it feels like an eternity...At first I was inundated with calls, emails, cards, etc..but it has reduced gradually and now only a few true friends (and my sister) are still in contact. I dont mind because I am not (and have never been one) to hang around with lots of people but it shows you who really cares when you are faced with this sort of situation..I think maybe some poeple would like still to "help" but they dont know if they can, ie they think if we need something we will contact them, I dont know, Im trying hard to remain in contact because I dont want to isolate myself and end up even more alone than I am now. It's a tough one! On the subject of feeling guilty getting used to being alone again, well I can sympathize with that, I was thinking about this the other night - one of those night when I lay in bed not being able to sleep because I have all those thoughts popping into my head - and it is difficult, because on the one hand we have no other choice but to carry on with our lives, our partners are not coming back sadly, but at the same time when is the right time to "move on" (sorry, hate that phrase but cant think of another) and is there ever a right time?? Also in my case, Arek made me promise to get on with my life, be happy (well easier said than done, baby!), etc..so I so want to respect his wishes but I am at a loss as to whats right and whats not...

Have a good/ ok day all xxx

Hi All

The thing is, our friends lives havent changed, its ours that have, drastically, and at the end of the day it is up to all of us make the most of the life that we now find ourselves living.

That is what are other halves would have hoped for us. To live as well as we can under the new set of circumstances that we find ourselves in.Its hard, but we will all "get there" in th end..... wherever there is.!

Actually I dont have a great number of friends, they are mainly work colleagues, and as I only work for a couple of days a week now, thats the main reason i dont see them very often.

 

Love to all

 

Plod on!

 

Respect

xxxx

 

Hi All

feel like i've not been here for ages! i'm off to work in half hour so just popped in to say hello and hope everyone one is ok, seems like we've all been busy with various bits and pieces over the weekend, not least trying to stay out of the rain...is there no end to it?? 

Carolyn and Respect,,  nice to see you back here, i was wondering how you are both getting on,,  not easy is it? like you say plod on and do what is best for you,,  i'm now 6 months down the line and the best advice i was given by others was to be kind to myself and take my time with any decisions etc where possible ,, i think its working, well most of the time it does. i still have a few down days but everyday life is getting easier to cope with, a case of having to really but theres no rush,, i can't emphisise enough to others who now sadly find themselves here to do what you think is right for you, whatever step forward you take be it big or small, its all an achievement  for you, days come and they go...

i've now returned to work full time but am working nights instead of days, which i much prefer , i'm doing 3 nights week but i started small with only 1 night per fortnight, after having almost a year off when nigel was ill , i felt i would be better to start off slowly and ease back into , i seem to have been really busy this past week but for the life of me can't recall what i've been doing!! very likely a lot of nothing as you do,,

glad that those of you who has been away for a break  found it to be ok , nice to have a change of scenery sometimes to recharge your batteries,, hope everyone else is ok,, i'll catch up soon,, got to go now...

take care and love and hugs to you all

love linda xx

 

That is so true Tessa!

 If someone really wants to meet up they will arrange it there and then! Apparently it isconsidered rude not too!

The people who live near to me are always doing that! They mean well but............................

Sorry to tell you but some of us have got rain again tomorrow..........It will be plodding on in wellies again I think! Even the dogs are getting fed up with being soaked.

Respect

xxxx

 

 

Hi Everyone,

I did look in last night and was going to post, in the end decided against it, i was fine all day until about 5pm, then had a complete meltdown, I don't know what started it, but then again does there have to be a reason, anyway I got over it and lived to fight another day, I've been ok today.

I think we al enjoed the sunshine today, but we too have the rain forecast again, just for a change, I hope it fares up again for the weekend. I am going down south to stay with a friend friday to monday, travelling down by myself, i haven't travelled by myself for years, but its all part of my new life.

We all seem to have friends who have suddenly gone silent on us, but who needs them, I have one really good friend who never gives up on me,Christine, she looks after her grandaughter alot, but whenever she knows she's free on a friday, which is my day off she calls to see where I want to go or to just meet for a cofffee. Christine and Allan were the friends I was on holiday with when I met Tony, the same friends that took me away at New Year and who I went away with in march, I'm very lucky to have them.

Jmd...have you survived your weekend in a caravan?

Take care

Jackie xx