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For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

No. of entries: 2,636 | Posted on 29 Sep 2011 09:08
  • Trying to remember..... write notes maybe.. dog piccie, lil sis girls corfu, sunny cupcakes, jinty shyte time, stinker. damn... forgot! maybe it will come back...

    that was a rubbish first line too....

    Shaz, that photo of fac of a dog  is classic.. wish I could give her a cuddle and I am very impressed with your IT skills.... So nice to have you back with us on warped. I've missed you in blogland too... stop making curtains and chat with us... none of us can hang the bl**dy things anyway! says Little My in her cutainless bedroom that backs onto the playing fields of St Trinians..

    Looks at notes..

    Oh Little Sis is in Corfu with her daughters and hubby How cool is that??? I expect she can't breathe from hugs rather than pants... though daughters are at that age when hugs might not be cool... I bet they are though. You can camp out in strong pants no2 Annette, cos I can't breathe in them and baggy is getting cross and refusing to do anything... sending them over now.. should be room for the girls as well as you and hubby!

    Sunny, somehow I think I forgot to mention about you going to all that bother with cupcakes and last chemo! Wow... you are thoughtful and well brung up.. my mum would have been proud of you! I let her down with stuff like that, though I did remember to take a prezzie when I met Cariad (even if it was silly and from the charity shop) Watch they don't get you back in on false pretenses so they get more cupcakes...

    Hi Stinker, I know you wrote something about going out for coffee on Fridays... sorry the rest has gone. Hi!!

    Jinty, sorry you are having a shyte time. Wish you were not. Hope I can make you smile more often than making you cry... and the biggest squeeziest hug to you from me. and I have strong pants so I can ha ha! So good to hear from you though...

    I am lying in bed with toast and big frothy coffee and laptop and I have to say the bedroom is looking rather lovely now and perhaps it was worth the bit of lying down someone had to do afterwards....

    Love you all

    Little My

    ps I am getting a bit scared about this ball with all you ginormously (sp?) boobed women who are taller than me wandering around with Madonna cones Ouch, you'll have someone's eye out with that is translating to you'll have my eye out!!! and I can't duck very well due to strong pants. Midn you, as Tim is threatening to cordon me off in the naughty corner anyway, maybe I will be safe there.

    I have offered to get my shiny bits out for the fundraising snigger... what about the rest of you? Actually, now I have my strong pants on, that might be easier said than done... 3 hours later... no wait, nearly there says LM...

    Toast is getting cold..

    Big hugs

    Little My xxx



  • Just had to pop in to say to Jinty, I sympathise with you and know exactly what you mean about this pouncy "Imporved" site.

    The last thing it is, is improved. Sometimes Simple is the best solution!

    I can't find anyones blogs, I haven't had the energy, time or inclination to even bother "fighting" with this site to find them. Like you I can't even be bothered to update my own blog - though I just have to say I am concerned about your poor little dog and where he ended up!

    Also I am very sorry to hear that you are having such a rough ride at the moment.

    Actually - perhaps that was the thinking behind this "NEW" site. - Everyone is "fighting" this damned diesease so they are used to it, why not make the site to help them find advice, and support a "fight" as well.

    At a time when my children are testing my patients to the limit, I don't need a website that does as well.

    Take care everyone.


  • Just had to pop in and say hi to you Sue.. and while it was there on the activity page and I could find it ha ha.... Biggest hug to you.

    school tomorrow so you may get a bit of peace. Try and get someone to take them off for the odd hour if possible...

    Hmmm I seem to remember saying this to you before.

    Just want to say hi and send you all biggest hugs and even if you can't find anything or anyone, maybe you still get emails coming through so if you do, I am thinking of you all so much all the time and sending you lots of love and a big hug.

    Little My xxx

    ps I have been pretty good today and not done too much and no evidence of sausages yet..... (must be the pants)

    Not much poo either mind you and I am having the windy bean and lentil stew for lunch tomorrow at school... I am getting nervous that even invincible pants won't be able to hold that lot in when it finally blows! Could get messy. Maybe I can strategically aim it ha ha

    Apparently we are getting friends activity next week- hope that helps a bit.

    I have been nagging admin by email all day about stuff... the one that made me laugh was i got an email saying someone was now following me. eeek. They are not a friend of mine and when I looked at their page it said,

    I would rather not say- just researching...

    hmmm researching what? and following me? hmmm not going to get much sense there. Admin said send them a polite pm asking them what they are researching or remove them from your friends list. I keep telling admin that they are not my friend and there is no way to send them a pm except for asking them to be my friend which kind of defeats the purpose etc... now she says she'll pass it on to the day time people ha ha

    What was that you said about fighting? I've got me invincible knickers on so I am up for fight with anyone... actually this site is kind of making me want to have a fight.....

    Come on over here if you think you're hard enough....

    she says legging it in the opposite direction.

    School day tomorrow so got to go and have a shower, do my little blue bag duty (cos I forgot all week again) check my sausages are in and not out, clean baggy etc. What an exciting life I lead.

    Better wash my best little strong pants (compromise) for Friday too... GC day.

    Don't know how I got into italics... hmmm oh well.

    Big gug opps hugs to you

    Little My xxx


  • Well You Know me - I love to upset covention - just for the hell of it !! So here goes, a sensible start - sorry !! This is worth reading each morning - Lol bet you claim not to have the time !! I originally posted this back in March

    Pour Yourselves a Glass of Wine Or a Cup Of Tea and Spend 10 minutes - its is Worth Reading and Thinking About
    Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
    and remember what peace there may be in silence.
    As far as possible, without surrender,
    be on good terms with all persons.
    Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
    and listen to others,
    even to the dull and the ignorant;
    they too have their story.
    Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
    they are vexatious to the spirit.
    If you compare yourself with others,
    you may become vain or bitter,
    for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
    Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
    Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
    it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
    Exercise caution in your business affairs,
    for the world is full of trickery.
    But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
    many persons strive for high ideals,
    and everywhere life is full of heroism.
    Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
    Neither be cynical about love,
    for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
    it is as perennial as the grass.
    Take kindly the counsel of the years,
    gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
    Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
    But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
    Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

    Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
    You are a child of the universe. no less than the trees and the stars;
    you have a right to be here, And whether or not it is clear to you,
    no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

    Be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him or Her to be.
    And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
    keep peace in your soul.

    Max Ehrmann

    Well sensible bit over ok ? Feel sorry for little My, worried about the ball and Busty girls, lol - eat your heart out - I have Moobs !! - (Man Boobs), not even going to mention balls again !

    The person following you ? think its maybe a friend message, but could also be the tax man or the Dla people, you are not claiming  for Big pants are you while working by any chance ? - There is a penalty for claiming them with intent - sorry In tent You said they were big  - Ok Not my best adlib Remember you cannot make some one love you - best you can hope for is to stalk them and hope the give in - well works for me !!

    So off to Christies tomorrow, 6 months since being microwaved, latest results due, results fall into 3 groups - Err - Tender !!, Well Done !!! or my normal Status - Half Baked !!, thought it was worth throwing that one in for the hell of it !

    Found the perfect way to get co-ordinated underwear !! My wife washes everything with a red jumper perfectly matched sets now - every bloody thing is Pink - for some reason been banned from the gym and sauna now - strange.

    Sorry for being sensible

    Ok Better go, they need to lock the ward and medicate us - Hugs Guys XX

    John xx

  • John, Sue, Sunny and My,

    Thanks for your messages..

    Just to show "all is not lost" on the "smile" front...


    I "heart" Desiderata - except the bit about loud people - that hurts :)

    This is my favourite "funny" version of it 

    Billy Connolly's Desiderata

    Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.

    Have lots of long lie-ins.

    Wear sturdy socks, learn to grow out of medium underwear and if you must lie about your age, do it in the other direction: tell people you're ninety-seven and they'll think you look f****** great.

    Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.

    Never eat food that comes in a bucket. 

    If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting. Boo joggers. Don't work out, work in.

    Play the banjo.  

    Sleep with somebody you like.

    Eat plenty of Liquorice Allsorts.

    Try to live in a place you like. 

    Marry somebody you like.

    Try to do a job you like. 

    Never turn down an opportunity to shout, 'F*** them all!' at the top of your voice.

    Avoid bigots of all descriptions. 

    Let your own bed become to you what the Pole Star was to sailors of old ... look forward to it.

    Don't wear tight underwear on aeroplanes.

    Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? ... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.

    Clean your teeth and keep the company of people who will tell you when there's spinach on them.

    Avoid people who say they know the answer and keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.

    Don't pat animals with sneaky eyes. 

    If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11 a.m., start one. 

    Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swearwords.

    If you write a book, be sure it has exactly seventy-six 'fuck's in it.

    Avoid giving LSD to guide dogs.

    Don't be talked into wearing a uniform and salute nobody. 

    Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.

    Campaign against blue Smarties.

    Above all, go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say...

    'It's good to be alive!'"

  • Message for Sue re the "dog"

    Sweep the "pees when the doorbell rings" Cocker Spaniel (Working Breed) is Ladying it up in Troon (by the seaside) and to my knowledge "cares not a jot" about us as long as she is fed and admired for her good looks...

  • Hi Jinty,

    Thank you for your message, I am pleased the dog is safe, I had visions of you all squished in the little flat and the poor thing not knowing if she was coming or going.

    I am sure she does miss you, dogs - well most animals, are very much like young children. They don't seem to care on the outside, but deep down they do but they don't know or aren't sure what is happening to them and those they love around them.

    I am sure that when she next sees you she will be all over you as only a cocker spaniel can be - I am sure they have more spring in them than springer spaniels :-)

    Take care and hope you are getting plenty of hugs.



  • PS. Meant to also say to Little My I have been getting little breaks, problem is kids tend to "make me pay" afterwards.

    Last Thursday evening My daughter and I had a very pleasant evening together visiting the first view of a secondary school. We have a few more this coming week, and my sister has offered (and I accepted) to be with the boys at home so we don't have them distracting/annoying us.

    Also I suffer badly from a bad back (since the birth of my children) and have been receiving physio in the form of a 20 minute massage once a week, which is really nice.

    And today some rels are down (came for the funeral) from Scotland, we went to the local formal gardens which was really nice, and then came back to my house for lunch (mostly leftovers from the wake) then took the children down the road to the local swing park so I could have a break.

    Then they took us out for dinner.

    So I have had a realy nice day.

    On Tuesday my children do after school clubs, so I get until 4:20pm (time to go and collect), as the older two (who finish at 4pm have been going to a friends house (lives around the corner from us and whose son also finishes at 4pm) and the younger one finishes at 4:30pm. And I have to say it is rather nice having that bit of extra time.