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For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

No. of entries: 2,635 | No.of favourites: 37 | Posted on 29 Sep 2011 09:08
  • HIIIIIIIYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I've got internet a day early even! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoo hooooooo.!!!!!!!!!!!!

    So much to say and so much to catch up on and i've got to get us all back together and finding eachother etc.... where to start....

    Now Stinker has let me out of the naughty corner and my intestines are mostly staying where they are meant to be..... we can have a good old chat.

    Sunny I thought Mags had converted you to frilly thongs these days? (you know i typed throngs and then tongs ha ha wouldn't like to wear either of them) The stoma nurse recommended I get big granny pants to hold my innards in.. not keen but thanks for the shopping info. I now know where to go. (still in my boy boxers I'm afraid but eyeing up the ladies section now so a step in the right direction. i guess lady granny pants are better than boy boxers? Actually, what is the pant hierarchy? Hmmmm.

    I am still being stupid and doing a bit too much so very tired tonight so might not write too much but had to say hello to you all. I hope they sort out the friends activity thing soon cos it is going to take me ages to find you all and I have so many questions... and you can't see what you are replying to anymore so can't remember what you all said. Are they having a laugh? Too many of us have got chemo brains to remember who we are, never mind what we are replying to... this might be the admin blog for all I know ha ha

    Hi sk Kev... you think I am mad? who says? Sane as a fish me.

    You lot made me laugh going on about sausage factories and wrestling pygmies etc on my blog and Chrisie made me laugh when she asked for a photo...

    Stinker, your trip to Malvern sounded great and I think I might have heard you one night ha ha

    Oh, so many questions.... Annette did you go back to work? did you keep the shiny red bag? Cariad, how are you.... did you shave your head?

    Oh and Sue, what can I say? Big hug to you..... and another one and I hope you will pop in to see us sometime again when you are ready....

    Tim- do we get a share of the prize money if we cross things for you?

    John, have you stopped writing angry letters yet and that joke about snake and pigmy pudding was awful, truely awful.....

    Mumsy (shaz) are you there or buried under curtains? How are you all? Shouldn't have started names cos I need to keep going now so i mention you all or you might be offended, but too tired so sorry, you know I love you all.... will give you a special meniton next time...

    OH OH OH!!!!! Guess what I did on wednesday? I was so fed up with not being to do anything, I went into town and bought the shiny expensive bracelet. £113 ssshhhhh don't tell P.

    Annette, here is  a case in point. I told P is was £25. He believed me. (actually he didn't even notice I had got a new bracelet till I showed him) I told him there was a charm I wanted for it that was outrageously expensive (£50) ha ha and that I had got myself the bracelet as a celebration for GC not being able to see Hefty... I think he will get me the charm now....  And I love it and am so glad i got it so thanks you lot for persuading me to get it :o)

    You blokes, ignore that bit- I don't think your other halves would be happy about me giving our shopping shiny things secrets away!

    Got to go and see GC again in 2 weeks time to check Hefty is still missing presumed dead and isn't going to do a little pube and ressurrect himself etc ... and I saw an advert for Rolo biscuits last night. Do you love anyone enough etc... I sniggered but then saw how big they are....

    OUCH! Sunny, please don't suggest them they are big....

    Oh and my new pubes are ghost pubes (white and almost see through) hmmmm. And then I thought, I wonder if GC will comment on the fact that a few are growing back... as he keeps saying 'nice groin' and 'that feels good' etc I am wondering if he will say oh, nice pubes or something.... he must wonder why I find cancer so hilarious.....

    Our new house works. The loo flushes and the hot water works and the phone is on and now the internet... and? I hear you say...but  for me this is amazing....!!!

    That will do for now. I might do a blog too but eyes are going a bit crossed....

    I am very happy to be back with you and I missed you loads

    Big higs and bug hugs to you all

    Little My xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

     


                  

  • Way hey! Had been pleased to see Christine back, was going to comment, but chemo brain is still at work (my excuse and I'm sticking to it) clicked back and ........welcome back LM. Oh feels as if we are gradually getting back to normal. Have missed you both and kept checking when hubby wasn't about to see if you were hiding in a corner. Mwah! Mwah!

    Chrissie, wish I could get away without a bra, although on bad days i just let them all hang down. Bravissimo do pretty undies for the larger lady. I think we ladies still want to look feminine and frivolous, and deserve to after all we've gone through. Those thong thingies are so uncomfortable and can' t think why somebody would want to wear them all the time...they cover so little that you might as well go knickerless!

    Well done on treating yourself LM. Can just imagine you sitting in front of your class turning your wrist this way and that, admiring your sparkly bits!

    I occasionally read a blog that a young girl called Alice has written. she and her family are a real inspiration as she has been fighting Hodgkins since the age of 11 and 4 years on things are not looking good for her, but she has a buccket list, some which is personal, but also she is finding ways for people to sign up as bone marrow donors. Her family have raised many thousands of pounds. Now comes the 'warped' bit. She said that she met some friends and they asked if she'd be around for Christmas. Both her mother and self burst out laughing and she said that she hoped so as it was her 16th birthday the week before. What these friends had meant was that they wanted to know if she was going to be away!

    My ever lovely (NOT) mother-in-law also sent a newspaper cutting which she thought I might find useful about how it feels to have hearing loss. I think I know!!!

    Well, look after yourselves. Got to drop a line to James as he emailed to ask how I'm getting on with the site...........

    Louise xxx

    PS Hope we didn't keep you awake LM!

  • LM you can have a share of the winnings for crossing things!

    Whilst I am always positive, in reality the chances of me winning anything on this venue are slim, so likely you'll be sharing nowt!

    I have a friend who wants to run a charity ball evening next year around Valentines day, he has asked me if I want to do it for my nominated charity. So could be a big party in Bristol next year for Macland if people are interested. I have to hope I get my reversal op soon, cos otherwise I might not be able to make my own party, and especially as I would have to make a speech and I could quite literally shit myself!

    Enjoy the sun people!

    Tight lines

    Tim xxx

  • Oh Tim, a ball! How exciting... and I haven't put my gown away yet from the scans.. (see old blog about ballgowns  if confused) actually I don't have nice clothes for things like that, but sounds fun and we could have fun with the baggies, unless we are both Dyson's by then. If you do a speech, I will come along and cheer as long as you put a bit in about us not being able to find shoes to match our bags.

    Bristol is about an hour away from me and I reckon I could link in with Cariad too.... and Stinker's not too far away from us, not sure if anyone else is near. Could be fun... Actually, Bristol is a big station ooooh will you have a sofa in the corner cos I am rubbish at staying up late?

    Bit hard to plan though with us lot.. you might be having your op, I might be having my op, others might be puking up or rigged up to drips etc but despite all that, unless I am in the hossie, I'm up for it and I am always happy to sh*t myself on your behalf if you like.. ha ha

    Its really hard to find warped these days and I must try and get on to the admin people to ask them if we can see what we are replying to, but I can't find them ha ha...

    See, Stinker said something I wanted to reply to and I can't remember what it was now...

    One funny thing was someone at school said to me yesterday can I do anything for you? I remembered for once and said 'buy me shiny things?' Unfortunately it was mate with no sympathy and her response was ' what are you, an effing magpie or something.. eff off' so that didn't work... might work at Tim's ball snigger. Might be some rich sympathetic types there... mind you, once they cop eyes on us bunch of loonies we are sunk...

    Got to phone a million people this afternoon to tell them I have moved so see you all later. Can't put it off any longer....

    Little My xxxx

     


                  

  • Managed a quick look in again !

    Well rushed around getting stuff ready for tomorrow and managed to catch a wall in a tight turn, scratched my car, plonker!

    Yes Little My you can go to the ball! Don't worry I can organise a baggies/ loons corner, and put a barrier or some warning signs up lol!!!  With your prowess with words you can help me with my speech!

    Last time I stayed in the hotel overnight as they did a fantastic room rate and it was cheaper than me getting a taxi home (both me and W were drinking of course). I got to the hotel about 3pm and foolishly started to drink. Then on the evening everytime we got a round in on our table "the men" had a sambucca whilst we waited for the beer to be poured. I'm ashamed to say that in the end I was very, very, very drunk! Missed breakfast the next day, in fact I missed most of the next day!

    I am seeing my consultant on the 11th Oct so I hope he will be able to tell me more about the timing of the op. As soon as I know more about the ball I will put it on Macland. It would be nice to meet you all, have a good time and raise money for Mac, but understand we all have things that could get in the way.

    Time for a beer or 2 to calm my nerves before the 5am get up tomorrow.

    Tight lines

    Tim xxx

  • Hi Plonker Tim,

    I know my place... for some reason I am often sat in the loon's corner...and have been cordoned off before now too....  I don't understand why...

    Sounds fun and a hotel night away even more fun.... count me in (unless of course.... you know, ops and all that)

    Biggest luck tomorrow (despite objecting to you murdering maggots) and can I have a fish for dinner please?

    You know with this new site, you ge tto read the first lines of the post on the activity page... oh dear. I never really did a lot on the serious pages cos the anal cancer group is me and some tumbleweed basically.... and I feel a bit embarrassed now cos when I just looked down there were all these posts about temperature spikes and my dxf is 600 yet my pcc is 25 and I asked the onc... etc etc and here are us lot going whooo hooooo knickers and poo and that. Oh dear.

    wondering if we should start doing serious first lines to make us look intellectual etc but then i though best not cos then we might lure people in and after the first sentence it would all go downhill from there and they would need therapy by the end....

    I am tempted to try writing in funny styles though so if you see a weird first sentence, you know I am bored and messing around.

    Good luck Tim... £10.000 - you are paying the hotel bill mate! I'll write the speech...

    errr hi folks we are baggies with no pubes except ghost ones and we like shiny stuff so give us yer money.... hows that for the intro line? If you drink as much as last time, that might be it....

    Big hug (and if it helps you win, you can even have a tight line)

    Little Myxxx

    ps tomorrow, a report of I caught a fish/didn't catch a fish I won/didn't win (delete as appropriate) will suffice non of this gashes and lines nonsense eh? We will only snigger and talk knickers back at you.

     


                  

  • ps  I was reading Dostoyevsky this morning and to quote the amusing character in.... oh sod it hiyah!

     I forgot to ask... Stinker, is that a picture of you looking all intellectual reading in your nightie? (new avatar)

    xxxx