Helpless

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Helpless

No. of entries: 8 | Posted on 29 Aug 2013 03:27
  • I must admit reading some of the posts on here is scary for me.....I am again finding this roller coaster of a life far too hard, feel sick with worry tonight or should I say this morning. Not long got back from the hospital with my dear husband, who had to be admitted again. High temp and terrible stomach pains, plus the riggers. They have put him on intravenous antibiotic drip and are treating him for septis they say he has an infection somewhere. I did not know whether to stay or not, but when I spoke to the nurse she did not seem to think there was a great need to. When I left he was still lying on a hard trolley awaiting a bed. I really don't know what to think this time because this last few weeks I have seen him lose weight and look frail, he has had two blood transfusions because he has been losing blood and he may have been losing blood again these last few days because he has been sleeping more.....Back to the being so scared and don't want to lose him my husband, my best friend and forever my soul mate........I just hope and pray we have longer, I cling to even a few more months .....I dread the telephone ringing in the middle of the night. Should I have stayed.....my husband wanted me to come home and get some rest and see to our wee dog, also I have terrible pain in my ear and not feeling well myself. It's been another long night. I am scared to death of every change in case it's the end......I know we all feel the same and that we are all in this awful roller coaster life together. God Bless everyone

    Anna

  • Hi Anna

    My friend and I are in much the same place as you and your husband, she too has pain in her stomach/bladder area and high temp as well as vomiting but she is already in the hospice for much the same thing as now so they are treating her with antibiotics as they are not 100% sure where the infection is at the moment.

    I hope you do manage to get some sleep and I must go to bed now too. Its awful to have one ear to the phone in case it rings isn't it.  Try to get some sleep as you need to look after you too x x x x

    Hope you get better news tomorrow x x x x (well later today now!)

    Sending you a hig

    Julie x x

    Strength will always come to you, from where we do not know.  Somewhere inside of us there must be a reserve that is released upon need.  Look after yourself as you walk this road.

  • Anna and Julie, I hope both of you managed some sleep, sending you both my love and hugs, curse this awful sneaky dreadful disease........xxxxx
  • Oh Anna,

    That dilemma of should you stay or should you go home is horrid but I am sure you did the right thing. You need sleep, or at least rest if sleep doesn't come, and it sounds like you could have an infection to fight off too.  The nurse thought you should go, your husband wanted you to go so you did - don't feel bad about that.  

    I just wish I could give you a big hug and chase away some of that fear and I hope you found your husband more comfortable today and that the IV antibiotics are already having some effect.

    Let us know how things are today,

    Hiloa x

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  • HI Anna, im so glad like me you found this place it truly is a help even to 'sound off'

    im so sorry for your husband , this is something you must have heard so many times, doesnt always help you eh?   when my mum in law came home from hospital having been diagnosed with cancer i used to go to bed dressed just in case i had to move quickly in the night, because i am not 'socialising' friends dropped by the way side.

    however, i have discovered no matter how long you have been with this forum some tremendous and lovely people, if sounding off trhough the night, all day helps my freind then just do it, put your thoughts and fears down just typing them and sounding off helps.  if its any help i went into the chat room the first day (yesterday) and found it of some comfort a 'live' person was on the other end of this faceless communication, it just helped so much for there to be someone at the other end.

    god bless you anna and i hope you find the strength from your inner resources , from family, or from here, it doesnt matter where its from actually you just talk, there are many people here who will be listening and hopefully being of some comfort xxx

  • Hello everyone who wrote a message of encouragement to me. You really are lovely people. My husband  looked a different man when I went to vist yesterday. He even looked fuller in his face, was quite chatty with everyone. He got a un. .it of blood and was getting another unit today, but tonight I was disappointed at the change, he was very sleepy again and I found out that his blood had really gone down that was why they were giving him more blood.....I just dont know what to think anymore feel so tired of all the ups and downs its like when you get a happy day the next thing you  know its snatched away from you and a bad day follows.

    Anna

  • I was wonderinghow things are, thanks for letting us know. The ups and downs can be exhausting can't they. You just get your emotions sorted for one situation and then it's all change again. Have you had the opportunity to speak to your husbands doctor ? Sometimes there is so little communication in hospital, it can be really frustrating. I can only hope that this time a bad day is followed by another good one for you both. I hope you get some sleep Anna, you must need it. Love Hiloa x

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  • Hi Anna, hope today is a better day. The ups and downs are indeed exhausting, so I hope that you got some rest, and that your husband is in good spirits today. Thinking of you xx 

    TinaM

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