Dad has widespread pancreatic,bowel,liver etc cancer.

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Dad has widespread pancreatic,bowel,liver etc cancer.

No. of entries: 25 | No.of favourites: 0 | Posted on 07 Feb 2013 01:35
  • Hi I'm new here and I'm just sort of hoping that talking will help,talking to people in the same boat as me. He was diagnosed end of October 2012 and for me now it seems as time is passing by too fast he is losing wait and starting now too struggle with walking,I know I can't stop this happening but lately I've over indulged with drinking in an attempt to block it out but this as we all know doesn't help,I'm scared to lose my dad and scared of life when he's gone
  • Oh Mark

    really sorry to hear that. :-(

    Don't dwell on the over drinking, I have done it as well.  Have you stopped now?

    People keep telling me to enjoy what time I do have left with my Dad, I know that is hard, but I think people are right.

    We can do our grieving when they are gone, so it's best to make the most of the time we have left with them.

    Do you have anyone else around you?

    Ange 

  • Yeah my wife ,but worst part is I'm tending to take it out on her verbally,for some reason I just can't get my head around it,I've slowed the drink down a little. Sometimes I'm so tired but my head feels so busy and I struggle to sleep,so I thought the drink would help me sleep,but then the problem is still there the day after,it's like a vicious circle.
  • It sounds to me like you need to see your own GP, perhaps to get some therapy or medication.

    Are you your Dads main carer?  

    I am my Dads, my Mum died last year and my Sister a few years back, and I am single.  I'd be nowhere without medication I am sad to say.

    It's a case of whatever gets us through this stage I think.

    Ange 

  • Sorry to hear about your mum and sister,he has got community nurse and McMillan nurse and I'm helping a lot as he has just spent 3 out of the last 5 weeks in hospital and he lives an hour away so I will soon be moving in until the inevitable becomes reality,it's a struggle to balance the family here and the effect it's having on my marriage,but he's my dad and I told him when we found out I'd be there till he end( which his initial reaction was no you've got a family! You need to be with them) but he's ok about it now. I've been doctors as I'm now on sick leave from work as of last week,was going to talk to the doctor but haven't as my friend pointed me to this web site and I thought I'd give it ago first.
  • Do you get bad dreams? I keep dreaming about him dead and the funeral etc etc,is that normal ? Some days I can feel good then I have 3/4 day periods where I'm so low and depressed
  • My heart goes out to you, having lost my mum to this type of cancer, it took over so quickly, one minute she was fine, not a care in the world, then a huge abdominal pain, then 5 weeks later we lost her! She was young for her age, fit and healthy and we felt like we had been hit by a bus and run over with a steamroller!!! 

    Go and stay with your dad, don't give work a second thought.  "Enjoy what time you have" is incredibly hard but just spend as much time as you can and be there for him.

     

    Keep posting / reading, there is a lot of support in here

    x

  • I am glad that you have some time off work - this should give you some space to think.

    It's best you don't dwell on things, maybe find something to do.

    Yes, I have bad dreams... well, more bad day dreams for me I think.  I suspect its normal, the brain dealing with things.

    Did the Dr not consider anti depressants ?

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