my mum

Carers

For anyone supporting someone with cancer to get together, share experiences and support each other.

my mum

No. of entries: 3 | Posted on 27 Apr 2013 02:20
  • Has anyone experienced a wrong diagnosis, as I've said before mum has end stage 4 bowel cancer with spreads to liver and bladder, her team of consultants are really good and have explained to mum she only has 4months left which we are coming to terms with, we had to see her oncologist to discuss her recent scan results, He started to tell her she can have chemo and would give her another 2years to live, we were completely shocked as we had been told the cancer was too aggressive and her general heath is poor she keeps getting infections and isn't well enough to have chemo plus the cancer wouldn't respond to chemo, when I brought this up he asked who had gold us this information and I said you did 2sks ago, when in asked about scan results he said the cancer has spread too her womb also, mum had a full hysterectomy 30 years ago!!!! When I mentioned this he walked out had a look at mums results came back in and said "take her back up to the ward i will send a Macmillan nurse to talk to her" and walked out...mum was absolutely distraught and when we got back to the ward her nurse called for mums consultant to come and see her. When she came down she couldnt stop appologizing and said there's nothing we can do until Monday when they will have a meeting to discuss her results and palliative treatment. Mum doesn't know who are what to believe now...I'm so angry at his dismissal of her. Mum is so mixed up and doesn't want to talk to any of the team now...just wondered had anyone experienced tbis...

    TMPeel

  • I have known it happen. I have known surgeons address the wrong patient. I have also had the situation where a junior doctor told my mother she had lung cancer, he told her when she was on her own with no family around her and she was 83 at the time despite my telling staff that my mother was to have someone with her with any news. She did not have lung cancer though she did have mulitple organ failure and did die in hospital that time.

    First of all, who told your mother that she had just 4 months to live? Was it the surgeons or the oncologist? How long has your mother has this prognosis the one of just 4 months? (I've only just seen your posts so I don't know).

    Right. tell your mum to try not to worry. That is easier said than done but there is nothing you can do until the Mulit discipline Teamhave met and discussed her case. When is your mums next hospital appointment? If its this week, wait until she has her appointment. If not, this week, contact that Macmillian nurse and ask them if they can tell you what is happening.

    As for the way your mum was dismissed, I would make a formal written complaint about the way you were brushed aside. Go through the patients association to do that.

    I can understand why your mother doesn't trust anyone now. I think she has been treated dreadfully. Do get the Macmillian nurse to help you find out exactly what your mothers prognosis and plan of care is.

    We have been very fortuante with my husbands communciation and plan of care with his treatment. However I do know that doctors are just human beings. Contray to what they believe, they are not Gods! They also don't always know everything. When they make a mistake, if they handled it with a little more honesty and admitted to patients they had made a mistake, they would find that the patients WOULD be more understanding to them. (I am a nurse btw!)

    Thinkning of you and your mum.

     

  • Oh you poor mum and you.

    Fortunately, we didn't have this experience and I don't actually know anyone who has.

    I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you both and sending you the biggest bag of hugs to be used frequently xx

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