We are Macmillan. Cancer Support
Its mine and Keiths 9th wedding anniversary today or it would have been if he hadnt been taken away from me 73 days ago with this awful disease. So what have i done today knowing i was always going to be feeling low from the minute i opened my eyes this morning.....absolutely nothing ! I haven't seen anyone and I havent spoken to anyone on the phone either., ...I have drunk endless cups of tea ( good job I am teetotal ) and have been looking through our wedding and honeymoon photos. And tears, they have fell by the bucket load. I think tonight i will have an early night with Keiths kindle,I did pack it away but decided that I could charge it up and use it,albeit at the moment it is a choice of Andy Macnab or John Grisham,(I dont want any soppy love stories,)so looks like i will have to look for a website on downloading something more suitable and hope that tomorrow will be better ?different ?. In September its his birthday and mine in October and then Christmas, and I know i wont start any of these days like i have done today...as I said I should have known better. What I'd do now for some kisses (me kissing his photo isnt quite the same ) and big cuddles from him. Alison xx
I do know how you feel, I lost David to cancer in December. My birthday was two weeks ago and it was so hard. Our anniversary is in September, and I'm dreading Christmas. I bought a puppy and she does help fill the void, but could never replace David. I chose on my birthday to disappear for the day, and did not want to celebrate. I have decided at Christmas I will try and do something completely different, rent a cottage somewhere. Tomorrow will be better, and you have nearly survived today!!! People say times a healer, but at the moment it feels worse, David was a prankster, and I keep thinking, " Right time you came home now". If anyone else says " Be strong" Im sure I will scream ha ha. Recently I have found the radio comforting, more than the TV and cannot concentrate for reading at present. Only suggestions, which I hope help. Thinking of you Eileenxx
Click here to find out more
Hello Alison. I feel for you I really do, it would have been our 37th wedding anniversary on 31st July. I decided to work from about 11 am and we got married at 11. I got through by looking at the clock and remembering what we were doing at that time on the day, it was such a happy day and very informal, a big party for our friends....that helped me through. It's a bit late for you to do this now but it's so lovely to have those happy memories to cherish isn't it.......even though they can never make up for the loss and sometimes make it worse because there is so much to miss.
Christmas I am dreading, friends have invited me to stay with them but how can I watch them open presents on Christmas morning? I am going to suggest I go for New Year instead and take myself off with the dogs on the day....maybe a trip to the seaside and a walk on the beach if the weather isn't too bad........got to be something different I think and not associated with Christmas, I have already decided to tell friends not to expect cards etc and will make a donation to cancer research for Mark instead. Mark's birthday was 30th December so yet another hurdle to cross there.
Sending you love & a big hug.
If you have any questions about Macmillan we would love to hear from you
You can also follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Flickr or YouTube.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2014
what are these?