Why did Laing turn up for breakfast?

Bereaved spouses and partners

For widows, widowers and anyone who has lost a husband, wife, partner or civil partner to cancer.

Why did Laing turn up for breakfast?

No. of entries: 15 | Posted on 30 Mar 2013 07:55
  • I've heard about this happening before, but this morning, not 10 minutes since, I selected a blueberry muffin from the hotel buffet, and as I was going back to my table I was thinking in my head "It won't be as good as yours Laing". I sat down, and just for a fleeting nanosecond I saw him smiling at me with that his 'I love you Timbo, because you're really a child trapped in a grown up's body' look. In my head I asked him why was he here with me for breakfast of all things? Of course, there was no reply. I had to speedily finish my breakfast and return to my room.

    My eyes are as wet as the streets of Zurich right now (and believe me, it's wet here). 

    I know the title of the post is a question, but I also know there is no answer. Yesterday I said to Heidi I am, as she could see, still wearing his ring. I mused about the idea of going to a medium and give the ring and say, "Right, tell me all about this ring, its owner, and everything". I also said that I was worried that if there were a real spirit world that Laing would give me a right quick up the you-know-where (I refrain from crudities as I know I have a female readership of delicate sensibilities) for going into that mumbo-jumbo as he called it.

    So what I am trying to say in my usual jumbled up way is, in bereavement, one believes that one sees the deceased, in my case oh so fleetingly. It does happen, maybe not to everybody or it may be for longer than I experienced. In my case, it was so loving, it hurts, it numbs me.

    It's nearly 9 in the morning now, so I'll shut up shop and go out with the camera and maybe do a lot of heavy shopping in the Bahnhofstrasse. When in Zürich, do as the Zürichers do!

    Love and hugs and hoping you're all warm and safe back home.


  • Hi Tim, Su from Cambridge here,

    Haven't been on for a while not having a very good time....

    Just wanted to say I am glad you had that moment I can't remember if I have said on here before but my Jim has come to me on 3 or 4 occasions and usually when I am just falling asleep or just waking up. I feel him when I go to bed sometimes he holds me tight. On every occasion my overwhelming feeling is of complete calm and after he has gone, (sometimes he says "I have to go now") even though I am still hurting I have a small very real smile on my face.

    I hope Laings visit has left you feeling like this. Do not question it, enjoy it....

    Have fun shopping and maybe speak soon.


    Take care. Hugs

    Su xx 


  • Tim, You are lucky; I wish I could believe and see Tony.... maybe I can't because he loved blueberry muffins and I can't stand them - perhaps I will try one and see..... But your post has brought my wry smile back which has turned into a grin .... It is cold here in Weinheim but it is good to be visiting our daughter. ... we are meant to be going out for the day but, just like it would be with my Tony, she is her Daddy's girl - sound asleep with me wide awake and desperately trying not to nag to get the day started! Hang in there; Laing is with you wherever you go, always. Penelope
  • Su, thanks. I k ow thousands of things running through my mind right now all related to the incident. Getting it out there in the open is on of the best things to do, as I know others will have had such an experience in some shape or form. Seems weird, smiles TIm as he types with a smile Laing always commented on as my you're saying something witty or pertinent or clever face, to say some shape or form in relation to an apparition, I guess is the best way of describing it. 

    I'm feeling better for your words. Hearing from you has reminded me I promised somebody or other to be dragged off to Grantchester sometime!!!

    Love and hugs back at you


  • Penelope, you don't need to believe. It may happen to you, it may not. I didn't seek him to appear. It was, like much I have realised since he was diagnosed, a random event. Everything is without rhyme or reason, but it happens. Despite the shock of the event, I'm OK (or as OK as a loony like me ever could be).

    It's not so warm in Zürich, and I do declare the cloud is a slightly lighter shade of grey than it was half an hour ago. That's enough to put a spring in anybody's step.

    Give your daughter a good talking to, it's nearly 9.30 for goodness' sake! The day won't last forever!



  • Oooooooh, Tim. I am so happy for you but have to admit to being envious. I will Jeremy to 'come' to me but as yet no. I do however think perhaps that a wee robin that looks in the window at me might be him. I hope so. I would give anything for a wee visit. 

    Jeremy didnt give me any instructions on how to conduct my life after he died. Mainly because he knew I would be completely overwhelmed and would have to cope in my own way, in my own time. The only thing he asked me was not to become obsessed with mediums. He asked that because he knows I probably would have.

    I have some blueberry muffins. I may just have one for breakfast.......

    Enjoy the wetness of Zurich and the fabulous shops.






  • Hi Tim, I hope it was comforting for you to see Laing, albeit a fleeting visit. I truly believe in afterlife or spirit world or whatever individual people want to badge it. I've had a number of complete melt downs over the last week, normally late on in the evenings, asking David to come home. I find myself wailing like a banshee then all of a sudden a huge calm comes over me and I stop crying. I'm answering my questions with what I know David would say. I've been to see a medium on a few occasions, not to do with David but my oldest friend passed away suddenly a number of years back. She has come through when I've been to visit but don't go too soon after Laing. They normally suggest you leave it about 6 months for them to get used to things. I hope you are ok now, we are all sending you huge hugs and comforting squeezes. Please know that we are with you right now. Lots of love to all Nicola xxxx


  • Very light snow here in Cambridge. We will wait till it warms a little before we do Grantchester but most definitely must do it. Two not so sane people enjoying a cuppa and cake probably reminiscing and people watching has got to be a good thing to look forward to.

    Keep warm and enjoy!


    Su x


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