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Good morning, Kelly,
I bet the weather in Florida is somewhat different to here! You are one brave lady - I think Steve would be immensely proud of you. I took my lot too, but they were grown ups (except for one very excited 8 year old grandson) and it was a year later. I felt we needed to start to create some new, happier memories and I am sure that is what you are doing for your children, even though you are finding it so hard yourself, which is totally understandable.
I know you said that you don't feel like you are managing, but the fact is, you are! You are there, the children are enjoying it, you are up, dressed and putting one foot in front of the other. We all know on here that any of those things is an achievement - and you are doing them in Florida!
As far as other people accepting the loss of Steve is concerned, I bet they don't do it easily. Of course your grief is going to be the greatest, but people are very different in how they show things. We all understand that feeling of something fundamental being missing - I can remember looking in the mirror and being surprised that all of me was still there - I know that sounds odd.
On the money side - Macmillan have trained financial advisors who are excellent - they are free and you can access them here:
No need to be sorry for anything - you want to rant? Go right ahead!
Hope that you will have a good day and that the Florida sun will warm your heart as well as your body. Sending a big hug.
Kelly you are so very brave and your post has made me stop and think about my own situation.My husband and I booked a break in Torquay and ive been debating whether i should go or not.My kids are grown up we werent taking the grandkids it was just him and me. I have had sleepness nights worrying about what to do. I read this post this morning after a night of restlessness with this amongst other things on my mind.
If you were brave enough to ensure the kids got their holiday despite the heartache i know and can see through your post that must be tearing through you doing new things having no one to bounce ideas off the flights ect I can find the courage and strength to travel to Torquay with no kids.
You are doing your man proud love and I can only marvel that you found this inner courage to do this as for the rest you will find some inner reserve which will let you deal with it when you come back
I wont say enjoy your holiday rather look on it as a time of reflection because it is from doing this when you come home that you will adapt to this new situation you find yourself in.
Take care and thank you
Heartbroken doesnt come close
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