Hi everyone, please visit our new look community site and let us know what you think. If you have any problems with the new site, you can still switch back to the current community site.
My wonderful husband passed away. last night He was only diagnosed on 2oth May 12. I feel empty. I dont know how to deal with this
I am so sorry that you find yourself here like this. I don't know how to deal with my grief either but be sure that I'm thinking of you and sending you love and support. There are others on this site who are able to offer words of comfort but they'll all agree that you are sadly in for a long haul and all I can say is that this is a good place to come for help or to sound off when you find that's all you can do.
Take care of yourself at this time,
Bless you Cheryl... you are in shock... is anyone with you, a friend or relative to help. You really need someone around at the moment.. But talk to us on here of course. we will always listen anytime at all.
Have you seen your doctor, you really need to if not as he/she will help you as well... and if alone please tell them as someone should be with you.
At the moment all you can do is try to look after yourself... try to eat and try to sleep regularly, it is difficult, but you must try
My sincere condolences Cheryl... stay on and talk if you need to. and please tell us if you are alone.
A virtual hug... Alan.
Hi Cheryl, I am so sad to hear about your loss... thinking of you and wishing you didn't have to go through this.
Am fairly new here myself (my other half died in May) but I've already been helped by some lovely, kind and thoughtful people here. For a club that nobody wants to join, it's very friendly and supportive.
Maybe a good place to start is to talk here when you need to - if it helps talking about your husband then go for it. So say what you think, get angry, get upset and know there's very likely to be someone who will listen and understand. And don't try and do too much too quickly - there's lots for you to get your head around and I'm finding that it all takes time.
Am sure you'll get more informed replies than mine, but just wanted to say hello and send you an online hug.
Oh Cheryl honey.
So sorry for your lose and that you find your self on this site that no one wants to be on.
I hope someone is with you and you have support. It has been 13 months tomorrow since I lost my precious man, This site is a big help and wonderful people on here.
Take each day has it comes, do what you feel you are upto which is probably not much. Keep posting as much as you feel you can, someone will be around to keep you company.
Big hugs and much love to you. xx
I am so sorry to read that your husband has just passed away, you will be in shock and I hope you have someone with you who can give you comfort.
You will find people on this site who have been through the same thing, we have all lost a loved one and trying to cope. My husband died 9 weeks ago, he only lasted 11 months after being admitted to hospital by emergency with bowel cancer.
It is a difficult journey, please use this site and talk to us. There always seems to be someone around who will answer your questions or offer comforting words.
I am so sorry for your terrible loss. This community will help you through even though you will do a lot of hard work yourself. But the support here is tremendous and I know I am still sane because of the wonderful people here willing to share their feelings. Live minute by minute for now; try to have supportive people around or near by and always ask for help. I for one, don't find asking for help easy, but now that life has changed so irrevocably, I have started to change too. You will find a way to deal with this and this community will help you do that.
Always here for you. Take care and hugs.
So sorry you are here and I cannot add much to what the others have said. Laing had NSCLC with spread to liver nodes and eventually to his bones. He died nearly 6 months ago and you may have seen I am feeling strong enough not to contribute or need the forum like I used to.
No matter how bad you feel now, be assured you will adapt, you will find you can do things by yourself and you are mentally tougher than you realise. I admit I have come through it all pretty fast, but Laing believed I would manage without him. Take your time and look after yourself. Number One is you and adapting from being the carer and partner to being on your own is traumatic, but look back to the diagnosis. You adapted quickly back then, it is amazing how quickly we do adapt to the situation. This is a different kettle of fish, but you have your life experiences to call upon. They may not replicate this situation, but there are always some similarities in general terms.
As for your name, sunflower, that is beautiful. Laing and I planted some when we started properly putting our garden together. We planted the seeds in the traditional manner, one for the birds, one to die and one to grow. We managed better than that law of averages.
The boys and girls here are a pretty good bunch. Use them. We have all used each other and it is both surprising and reassuring how well we have moved on in our ways and at our own speeds.
Virtual hugs are always available on request, and can ever be found lurking in the posts. Take every one that's offered, and save them up for when you need them if you don't use them immediately. There is no expiry date on them.
So here is an introductory two for one offer for you. Let me know when you need some more, as I probably will extend the offer.
If you have any questions about Macmillan we would love to hear from you
You can also follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Flickr or YouTube.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2015
what are these?